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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25638088">I Open at the Close</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/contextomy/pseuds/contextomy'>contextomy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Open at the Close [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Complete, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, M/M, Time Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:13:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>42,423</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25638088</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/contextomy/pseuds/contextomy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry travels back in time to make things right by Severus Snape.</p><p>Completed. Except for the canon epilogue, all dates are canon compliant.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Open at the Close [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2123580</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>234</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>594</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Ministry was as bureaucratic as ever. Even for such an easy proposition, there was the convening of too many out-of-touch wizards. Harry sat in the audience area of the hearing, supporting Professor McGonagall, who faced the wall of aged witches and wizards. Hermione and Ginny sat somewhere behind him.</p><p>"For his contributions, his bravery and sacrifice, Your Excellencies, I petition for Severus Snape's portrait to be painted and hung in the Headmaster's Office. To guide myself and future generations of Headmasters at Hogwarts," she concluded, looking over her glasses at the group. Anytime she looked at anyone like that, it was a challenge.</p><p>The rush of whispers around the room told Harry just what the Ministry thought of Snape. A former Death Eater. A traitor to the cause. A literal dark mark on the history of Hogwarts. Harry wanted to yell and testify himself just how wrong those accusations were, but he had already tried that the last time around. It had been two years since the war; he had time to reflect on who Severus Snape was. He was a great man with his flaws and his mistakes. He was a man who was once a boy, tempted by the Dark, like so many others were at the time. He was man who spent the remainder of his years atoning for the mistakes he had made, and he gave up his life protecting what he believed in. On balance, he had righted many his mistakes, even if the world could only see his missteps in life.</p><p>"Silence, silence," the head judge of the Council of Magical Law announced, raising his hand. He was an elderly man who resembled Dumbledore but with a fiercer energy behind his eyes, like he had spent his life hunting. "Professor McGonagall, the council has heard your petition for Severus Snape's painting to be installed in the castle of Hogwarts," he began, his voice echoing through the chambers. "It is of the council's opinion, as it was for Mr. Harry James Potter, that, with Severus Snape's record as a Death Eater, his deep and evidenced involvement with the Dark Lord, and the many laws that he has transgressed during his tenure as the Hogwarts Headmaster, we cannot recommend his portrait to be created or hung." There were sounds of agreement on all sides. People nodded. They angered Harry to no end.</p><p>He stood up and braced himself on railing that separated him from McGonagall. "Severus Snape was not just a Death Eater, and you know it! He was a double agent for Dumbledore. He spied on the Death Eaters. He saved people. If it weren't for him, I would have <em>never</em> been able to defeat Voldemort!" he shouted. At the use of the name, there was a hushed flurry.</p><p>"Mr. Potter is correct," McGonagall added quickly, looking between Harry and the Council. "Severus Snape had to walk a tenuous and dangerous line between the Dark Lord and Dumbledore, and his actions demonstrated restraint and planning. It would be foolish for the council to see otherwise!"</p><p>The gavel came down with a loud bang. The entire room came to a sudden and still quiet.</p><p>"This decision of the Council is final. Thank you, Professor McGonagall and Mr. Potter, for your time. Have a good rest of your day. We are dismissed." And the Council Members all stood, filing out of the room.</p><p>"You're making a mistake!" Harry shouted, defeated. "Snape's done more for the school than decades of Headmasters before him! More than any of you!"</p><p>The members continued to file out the room.</p><p>This was their second defeat. Tensed, Professor McGonagall collected her papers and turned to join Harry in the stands. "I'm sorry, Potter," she murmured sadly, placing a not-too-comforting hand on his shoulder, and walked past him out the room. Her eyes were red with tears.</p>
<hr/><p>Acting stunned, he waited until he was the only person in the chamber before locking the doors from the inside and hiding under the benches until it was well into the late evening.</p><p>The Council can make their choice. But so can Harry James Potter, savior of the bloody wizarding world.</p><p>There was less activity and foot traffic outside the room. And the two guards who came in to check the room had only checked it quickly before locking it again.</p><p>When the Ministry was completely quiet, Harry shuffled from under the benches and made his way to the stairs that connected the courtrooms to Level 9. The Department of Mysteries. The familiar room unfolded to him. A long hallway of non-descript black windowless walls that led to a single black door. He had been here before; he knew where this led and where he had to go.</p><p>Harry pulled his wand out and walked quietly towards the door. He opened it and walked through. The moment he closed it behind him, the room's doors spun as they did the last time. One of these doors led to where he needed to go. He remembered it was to the right of the exit door.</p><p>"I wish to exit," he announced, and the exit door swung open to his left. Harry went through the door to the right of that and walked into a dimly lit room. In the middle of the room were five Time-Turners. He took one of the Time Turners and quickly left the Ministry, taking the Floo Network to Aberforth's place in Hogsmeade. No one was home; Aberforth was likely still at Hog's Head.</p><p>Good. As expected.</p><p>Harry shuffled out of the fireplace. He pulled out his Time Turner and wore it around his neck. A quick spell rotated the intricate spheres and began to turn back to the first of December, 1976.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world whirled around him as the Time Turner spun. What were once flashing images gradually became a long blur of colors as decades flew by him. He fixated on the Turner, which spun furiously on its rotor, and prayed it held together.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>"There's a reason it's not recommended that any wizard stays more than five hours in the past! Not to mention going back that far -- no one knows what would happen." Hermione objected. Harry needed alternative plans for when the Council rejected the portrait. Going back in time to make things better seemed to offend Hermione the most.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, but what if I can convince him not to be a Death Eater to begin with?" Harry offered, trying to sound convincing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hermione's face wrinkled in disapproval. "Then you might not be here at all, Harry" was her solemn answer. "It's the grandfather paradox." She flipped through Saul Croaker's book on time travel and pointed to the chapter 'On Paradoxes and How to Avoid Them.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I am here, see?" He patted his own face, grinning as if to punctuate the point.</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Harry gasped, feeling suddenly nauseous. He had spelled the Time Turner to turn 201,500 times -- overriding the restriction the Ministry had put on the turners. And it was only now that the turner got into the thick of transporting him away. The blur of colors was one thing. Now, Harry felt stretched. His face moved as if malleable, and his body protruded in odd angles, blending with the colors. The Turner spun so fast Harry could barely see it. And the device's heat shocked his hand. Harry flinched and dropped the Turner to hsi chest.</p><p>It was hard to breathe. He saw black spots.</p><p>"Fuck."</p><p>Passing out now in the middle of time travel would be very bad. So bad that the book didn't even say what would happen. It only ever recommended for the traveler to remain awake. But everything was spinning so fast Harry struggled to keep his eyes open.</p><p>He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, hoping the absence of visual stimulus would help calm his nerves.</p><p>It didn't. If anything, he felt more nervous for the fact that he had to close his eyes to block off something he was nervous about.</p><p>When the Turner suddenly stopped, fixated in a rotation, Harry collapsed to the floor. In his head, the world continued to spin -- though that was more the artifact of his brain keeping up with his new reality than time travel itself.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>"You're here now," Hermione repeated, not able to finish her thought, not wanting to entertain it at all. "It's too dangerous, Harry."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He could see the concern in her eyes. He could sense her fear that he might actually do something so insane. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We'll see what happens at the council next week, okay?" Harry offerred as an olive branch.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hermione bit her bottom lip and took what she could. "Okay."</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>He wasn't sure how long he had slept, but it was dark by the time he awoke. He was fortunate that Aberforth didn't check his cellars today. And even more fortunate was that he didn't seem like he was in at all. Wasting no time, he clambered to his feet and quickly left, exiting into Hogsmeade.</p><p>The world was already blanketed in snow. The signs that hung over the shops seemed less faded. Otherwise, all else seemed the same. The Three Broomsticks was behind him. He could hear general merriment coming from that direction, so he walked away. He wandered to a cafe with some outdoor seating and stopped where someone had left behind a copy of the Daily Prophet.</p><p>December 1, 1976. The headline read "Death Eater Raid Suspected at London Muggle Residences." If he hadn't seen the date, Harry thought he might've transported himself only two years back to 1998.</p><p>The paper confirmed he made it. He was here. Disbelieving, Harry patted his body. Yes. All of him was here.</p><p>According to Saul Croak's theory, if he managed to last more than five hours here, it'd be all right, right?</p><p>"Five hours, five hours," he muttered, turning up to the darkened sky for help.</p><p>"Oh! We've already closed for the day," a woman called out when she saw an unfamiliar man hanging around the cafe. Harry recognized her immediately and felt his heart clench. Madam Rosmerta. Much younger here, less exasperated with entertaining customers.</p><p>"Can I help you?" she asked, when it took longer than usual for the man to answer.</p><p>"Oh, uh, sorry. Do you know the time?" Harry asked.</p><p>Rosmerta looked at him as if he had grown another head. "Aren't you a wizard, boy?" She drew her wand out. "<em>Tempus</em>. Half past nine."</p><p><em>Tempus</em>. Another household spell he hadn't been taught. "Right. Thank you." Harry picked up the paper and began to walk around aimlessly. Rosmerta must have noticed because she spoke again.</p><p>"Are you all right?" she asked, staring at him.</p><p>"Um, yeah. I just," Harry trailed off. He hadn't planned this far out.</p><p>"Are you a student?"</p><p>"Yes, uh, no! I mean, I was. Not anymore," he answered, feeling more emboldened to lie with each syllable. "Graduated. This past summer." In truth, he never graduated, but he'd heard about Percy's graduation, so he could at least speak somewhat knowledgeably about it.</p><p>"Oh, congratulations. Are you visiting a friend?"</p><p>"Yeah, just not sure he wants to see me right now. Kind of had a bit of a falling out." Lying was never easy for Harry, but this technically was not lying. The 'bit of a falling out' was a 'bit of Severus Snape dying in his arms.'</p><p>Rosmerta seemed to soften at that, and she offered him a smile. "It's the holidays soon! Great time for things to come back together."</p><p>Harry nodded, returning her smile. "Yeah. Hope so. Thank you."</p><p>"Good luck!" she answered, waving, and disappeared back into the cafe.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>"I know that look," Hermione warned darkly, almost glaring at him. "You're not going to do it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What look?" Harry asked innocently. He adjusted the collar of his suit, getting ready for the testimony. </em>
</p><p><em>"</em>That<em> look. Don't. Do. It." Hermione looked more fearful than concerned.<br/>
</em></p><p>
  <em>The wizard scoffed and shook his head. "Don't look like that, Hermione. I'll be back before you know it." He patted her on the shoulder and left her office.</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<em>Tempus</em>," Harry attempted. He felt the time in his chest. Like most magical feelings, it was hard to describe the feeling, but Harry knew then that it was quarter past ten. He sat in the Shrieking Shack and waited. No one ever came here. At least, no students should be here.</p><p>It had been almost an hour since he woke up in this time. If he managed to stay the full five hours and lived to tell the tale, he'd go into Hogwarts and plead Dumbledore to let him be a student. At least then, he'd be able to get close to Snape.</p><p>To Harry, it was a fully thought-out plan. To Hermione, it was half-baked at best. To Ron, well, Hermione had sworn not to tell Ron anything if the Council's vote went south.</p><p>"<em>Tempus</em>." 10:20.</p><p>"<em>Tempus</em>." 10:40.</p><p>"<em>Tem-</em>"</p><p>Harry paused. He heard footsteps and then the padding of an animal. It was distant for now but sounded closer with each passing second. Standing up quickly, he fished into his pocket and pulled out his Invisibility Cloak. He draped it around himself and stood off in the corner of the sitting room where he had had a fateful encounter with Sirius, Remus, and Snape those many years ago. And, from the sounds, it seemed it was due to happen again.</p><p>"Four days 'til the full moon" came a familiar boy's voice.</p><p>"Awoo!"</p><p>Two other boys joined in chorus. "Awoo!"</p><p>"Stop it." It was said in such a well-mannered way Harry wondered if he was at all offended.</p><p>"At least it won't be during the holidays. You guys are coming to my place, right?" James asked, half-laughing. He appeared in the room first, followed shortly by the rest of the Marauders.</p><p>"Can't. Regulus begged me to stay home," Sirius chimed in. Out of all the Marauders, he was the most disheveled. His shirt was untucked, and his robes were unbuttoned with one shoulder barely hanging on.</p><p>"Technically still a Pureblood family gathering if you come to my place," James pointed out.</p><p>"Yeah, except we've got more money" came Sirius's snide and playful answer. He nudged James, who laughed and muttered something sounding like 'fucked up git' under his breath.</p><p>"I can come," Peter offered after a moment.</p><p>"Good. Remus?" James asked.</p><p>"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Remus answered with a fond smile.</p><p>Harry watched his father while away the night with his friends. They didn't seem to have a care in the world. Harry almost envied them. He wished he could throw off his cloak and join them. To be so close and unable to be with his father felt like someone's cruel joke.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>"The Grandfather's Paradox alone would kill you," Hermione warned, pointing at the book. "What if you accidentally do something that led to your father's death, and you were never born?"</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>It hurt so much to see his father smile. It hurt even more to see Remus and Sirius joke with each other. A dark temptation itched at the back of his head to kill Peter Pettigrew where he stood. The conniving coward didn't deserve the light of day. Harry felt perverse watching them like this when he knew just what would happen to them. But their fates were already set, fixed in time. Harry's presence in the Shrieking Shack alone meant it was fixed and unchangeable. But that was not the case for Snape. It didn't need to be Snape who overheard the prophecy. Any Death Eater could have done it. </p><p><em>Remember the bigger picture,</em> Harry mentally chided himself.</p><p>"Lily said she'd come too," James piped up after a moment. There was a fond look on his face. He looked far away, as if imagining slow dancing with Lily Evans in his family garden.</p><p>"Awoo!" Sirius howled ironically, smirking at James.</p><p>"Shut up! She's not like that."</p><p>"You managed to bed a Muggle in your fourth year, Prongs! She <em>is</em> like that." Despite himself, James couldn't help but smirk.</p><p>Peter looked up at that, noting an opportunity to shift the subject in James's favor. "Lily's starting to like us now that Severus called her that word last year," he offered.</p><p>"Snivellus didn't deserve her anyway. What she ever saw in him is beyond me," Sirius commented, swinging his feet up on the old battered coffee table. "D'you know what he asked me at the start of term? He came to me on the train like the fucking git that he is, right?" He inflated himself and messed up his hair to look more like Snape. "'I'm going to find out your secrets. Where you four get up to every month.' And he walked away with that ugly face of his! The nerve!"</p><p>James snorted and shook his head. "Snivellus never learns."</p><p>"Oh, I'll make sure he learns," Sirius answered darkly. James looked at him warily but otherwise said nothing.</p><p>Harry clenched his fist; his knuckles turned white. He remembered the pain on Snape's face when Harry had accidentally stumbled onto that memory in his fifth year. The image of Snape's face quickly faded, replaced with the one of Snape bleeding out in this very room. The room was hot and suffocating. And he couldn't bear to hear more of his father and godfather speak ill of the man who saved him, who saved the entire wizarding world.</p><p>It took another two hours of idle chit chat and lewd jokes before the Marauders packed up to leave. Remus pulled out a familiar map from his pocket; Harry had an identical one in his jacket pocket. "I solemnly swear I am up to not good," he uttered, pointing his wand at the map. "Come on. Let's go."</p><p>Harry waited another fifteen minutes before pulling off his cloak. "<em>Tempus</em>." A few minutes past one. Counting for the gratuitous half hour during which he had been knocked out, he had another hour to go. This was promising. He hadn't felt any side effects.</p><p>When the fifth hour passed, Harry looked around him. Nothing had changed. He hadn't changed either. A wide grin crossed his lips, and he hopped off the couch Sirius had been sitting in and followed the route out of the Whomping Willow. He immobilized the tree and walked towards the old castle. The air made him feel like a student again. The lights. The stone. The school as it was before it was destroyed.</p><p>His home.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry touched up the concealer on his scar. It was a simple salve that he had picked up from an apothecary in Diagon Alley. He only prayed he brought enough with him. The Glamour Charm that Hermione taught him could only conceal so much, and it seemed his scar was the only thing he couldn't change about his face. Otherwise, he looked almost like a dark-haired Draco with glasses -- high cheekbones and a sharp nose and his lips were thinner. It was easier to cast the charm with someone already in mind.</p><p>He made his way towards the Headmaster's Office.</p><p>"Student out of bed!" Filch cried, running down the hall with a vigor Harry had never seen. He startled, turning to look around for options. Harry thought about running. No, that would just wear him out. He needed to get to the Headmaster. It would be easier to be caught and escorted there. And so he awkwardly put up his hands in surrender.</p><p>Filch rounded on him, his lips drawn in a snarl. "What's your name, boy!"</p><p>"I-I'm not a student!" Harry answered quickly, anxiety prickling at the back of his neck. He couldn't shake off the feeling of impending doom anytime he was this close to Filch. Old habits seemed to die hard.</p><p>"Like hell you're not," the groundskeeper grumbled, reaching out to grab his arm. "Name!"</p><p>"Harry!" he blurted.</p><p>"Harry <em>what</em>?"</p><p>"Harry," he trailed off, looking up at the Hogwarts banner above and catching a glimpse of the Slytherin crest. "Green. Harry Green."</p><p>"Well, Mr. Green," Filch growled ominously, hauling him towards Dumbledore's office. Luckily for Harry, he could count on Filch acting out of habit as he hauled him to the nearest faculty member who was still awake. "You're in a world of trouble now."</p><hr/><p>"Headmaster, I apologize for --" Filch sounded almost diminutive.</p><p>"It's all right." Dumbledore waved his hand, as if to encourage Filch to get to the point. Standing behind Filch, Harry stared at him. He looked younger, though not by much. He was still old, but there was a light behind his eyes that twinkled with more energy than Harry remembered.</p><p>"I've caught Mr. Harry Green out of bed!" Filch snarled. "He insists he's not a student."</p><p>"I'm not!" Harry countered. Filch widened his eyes in frustration and tilted his head at Dumbledore as if to say 'see?'</p><p>Dumbledore looked up from his papers at that and raised his brows curiously. He stared at Harry for a long moment, and Harry knew recognized what he was doing. That imperious look was Legilimency. And though he still didn't have the means to block it, he managed to throw up some mental walls -- Snape would have called them something much weaker than a wall -- to protect his memories.</p><p>"But I'd like to become a student," Harry answered, using his words and singular motive to push Dumbledore from his mind. "My parents passed away a few months ago, and they taught me at home. I'd like to become a student now."</p><p>"I am sorry to hear of their passing, Mr. Green," Dumbledore answered solemnly.</p><p>Harry swallowed thickly and looked away. Dumbledore's sincerity was too much for him to bear. "I don't -- I don't have the money to --"</p><p>Dumbledore waved his hand again, dismissing the idea. "What were their names?" Harry looked up. "Your parents. Who were they?"</p><p>The hesitation was palpable, and the tension crystallized in the room. Fawkes lifted her head and seemed to look expectantly at Harry.</p><p>"I can't tell you," Harry answered quietly, looking away. He wasn't strong enough to meet Dumbledore's gaze.</p><p>"Why is that, Mr. Green?" the Headmaster sat up straighter and leaned over his desk.</p><p>"I can't tell you, professor." It came out even weaker this time.</p><p>Dumbledore lifted his head and nodded to Filch, dismissing him. The groundskeeper gave the boy a wary look before taking his leave.</p><p>Once the door closed, Dumbledore turned to him again. "I see you have a copy of the Prophet in your hand. Forgive me for being cautious during these times, Mr. Green," he began. "I don't sense any ill will from you, but I also sense you are hiding much from me. I cannot put the students of this school at risk, and one must wonder how you managed to get on these grounds to begin with."</p><p>"Please," Harry begged. "I do not harbor any ill will to the school or to any of its students."</p><p>"Look at me, Harry."</p><p>Tensing and stiffening, the young wizard looked up. Green orbs meeting blue, and Harry did all he could to hide his memories. He could feel Dumbledore forcing his way into his mind. Suddenly, as if he had touched on a raw, hot nerve, Harry flinched back and looked away.</p><p>"Don't --"</p><p>"You've come on a mission. I sense that," Dumbledore stated sympathetically his features softening. He clasped his hands together and looked down for a moment, considering him. "Why are you so insistent on preventing Severus Snape from becoming a Death Eater?"</p><p>Wide round eyes met Dumbledore's, and fear struck at Harry's core. The Time Turner felt like it was burning in his pocket. Was it over already? He was surely going to combust right here. Time was going to split. Surely, some time-altering moment had just occurred. But when the seconds seemed to tick on and nothing happened, Harry looked around him cautiously before looking back up to the Headmaster. The younger wizard closed his mind and his emotions. He imagined a box, and he stuffed it to brimming with his fears and anxieties, holding it shut with his metaphorical body to keep his most fragile memories from the world.</p><p>"I have to" was his simple and honest answer.</p><p>The moment seemed to stretch for eons until Dumbledore's face crinkled into a fond smile. One that Harry had seen so many times when he was trying to be reassuring. "Then I wish you the best of luck, Mr. Green. Join us for dinner tomorrow, and we'll get you Sorted." Dumbledore returned to his papers and picked up a quill. "Would sixth year suit your mission?"</p><p>Harry stared at the older man. His mouth had gone dry.</p><p>His answer came in a single breath: "Yes."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry should have expected Hogwarts to have guestrooms. Dignitaries and officials had stopped by before, and there must have been room for the headmasters who came by for the Triwizard Tournament. But he hadn't given them much thought until he had been assigned to one. It was roomy and nicely adorned. Whatever foods he wished for, he simply had to ask out loud, and they would appear on the coffee table.</p><p>He almost wished he could stay here instead of whichever House he was going to be Sorted into.</p><p>"Mashed potatoes and gravy," he announced, and poof! A plate of mashed potatoes appeared. "And a water. And a pumpkin juice," he added, feeling the same giddiness he felt when he first took part of a Hogwarts banquet.</p><p>He ate as much as his nausea would allow him to stomach and fell asleep. He dug into his magically enlarged jacket pocket, fishing for his sleeping clothes. A Muggle t-shirt and shorts. After a quick shower, he quickly fell asleep.</p><p>
  <em>Blood. Why was there so much blood? No amount of struggling on Snape's part seemed to stop the flow. It was more blood than Harry had ever seen. Harry yelped when he felt his face get closer to Snape's. He looked down and found Snape's bloodied hands pulling on his robes. Harry did his best to push down the thought that all this blood belonged to the man he hated. But even the most hated person didn't deserve this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Harry found himself unable to speak. There was so much he wanted to say now. Now that he knew so much more now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Look. At. Me." </em>
</p><p>Harry started, waking up with a jolt. Warm winter light began to flood into his room. He found a new set of student robes at the foot of his bed.</p><hr/><p>Children were cruel when they wanted to be. Harry saw some Slytherin second-years snicker at his robes. They muttered something along the lines Harry being so stupid that he couldn't figure out how to change his robes to match his House and how remarkable that an older student didn't know such a stupidly simple thing.</p><p>Harry spent the morning wandering around the courtyard and doing basic people-watching. He must have looked lost because he was accosted by none other than Lily Evans by the second period. She wore her Prefect badge with such pride, and she beamed at Harry when they met.</p><p>"Hi! I don't think I've met you before," she began, holding out her hand.</p><p>Harry laughed nervously and shook her hand in return. "I just became a student."</p><p>"You don't look like a first-year," she mused, grinning.</p><p>"Ah, no. I'm a sixth year. Homeschooled. I'm sixteen," Harry answered. In truth, he was eighteen, but she didn't need to know.</p><p>"Ah. That explains the crest." It wasn't a common thing for homeschooled children to join Hogwarts so late in their age, but Lily didn't seem eager to judge. There were all sorts at Hogwarts, and, as a Prefect, it was her duty to be a guide to her fellow students.</p><p>Harry nodded, smiling awkwardly. "I'll be Sorted tonight, I think."</p><p>"Ah, good! Would you like to come to my class then? I'm a sixth year too. Maybe you can get acquainted with everything. It's a lot at first." His mother was so kind. No wonder people only ever spoke highly of her.</p><p>"That would be great. I'm Harry Green."</p><p>"Lily Evans," she answered, turning away already and leading them down the hall. She had that smile that seemed to put everyone at ease.</p><p>Harry followed Lily through the halls. He knew them all well. And with the left turn she had just made, Harry realized where she was taking them.</p><p>"Horace Slughorn is a great Potions professor. I think you'll like him. He's very patient," she continued rattling off things she knew about Hogwarts to try to bring Harry up to speed. "His NEWT-level class is just... ugh! I love every minute of it!"</p><p>Her passion for magic and potions was infectious, and Harry found himself smiling with her. "You really like Hogwarts, huh?"</p><p>"You're going to love it here," she answered, turning back to look at Harry with a wide smile. For a moment, it faltered, and Harry looked at her, wondering if he had said something wrong. But when he followed her gaze, she realized she wasn't looking at him but at someone behind him.</p><p>Harry turned to find a tall lanky boy with an all-too-familiar scowl on his face, walking a few paces behind them. Snape.</p><p>"Morning, Evans," Snape voiced. Even when he was young, his voice came out like a drawl. Harry seemed astonished by this. "New friend?"</p><p>Lily paused in her steps so suddenly that Harry nearly ran into her, and he had to sidestep quickly to avoid the collision. She rounded on Snape. "What? Does the mighty Severus Snape frown upon Mudbloods making friends?" she spat.</p><p>For a moment, Harry thought he saw Snape flinch. But his expression was cold and schooled. He eyed between Lily and the new student and walked past them, his school robes billowing much less dramatically than his robes he would later wear as a professor.</p><p>Harry watched him leave and turned to Lily. Before he could speak, Lily shook her head.</p><p>"That's Severus Snape. Don't bother with him. He won't do you any good."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Lily and Harry filed into their seats, he noticed that most tables had at least two pairs of students. Harry's table had five. Snape's had three.</p><p>"We will continue brewing our Strengthening Potion," Slughorn announced as he filed into the classroom. He had darker hair than when Harry had met him, and, like with most people he was now meeting in their younger years, Slughorn had less of a defeated energy about him. He seemed eager to teach. And his sharp eyes fell upon Harry, interrupting him mid-sentence.</p><p>"And who might you be?" he asked, eyeing Harry curiously before looking to Lily for an answer. Lily only seemed all too eager to answer. When she was like this, she reminded Harry of Hermione.</p><p>"He's a transfer student. Harry Green. He's due to be Sorted tonight," she answered firmly.</p><p>The class seemed to hush simultaneously and turn their attentions to Harry. He ought to be used to this by now, but it was another matter receiving the attentions of a certain Severus Snape. He nodded and waved in the general direction of most of the students.</p><p>"Uh, hello," Harry announced. Snape scoffed derisively and rolled his eyes. Harry eyed him. Was he always so quick to dislike people?</p><p>"Well, Mr. Green, it's a pleasure to have you join our class today. And five points to Gryffindor for a helpful Prefect," Slughorn added, nearly preening that Lily was part of his Slug Club. That was a look Harry didn't forget. A mixture of smug pride and half-hearted support. The uneasiness that came from it did nothing for Harry's faint nausea. "As I was saying, we will be practicing our Strengthening Potion." He held up a small piece of litmus paper. "Once again, the one with the most neutral pH levels shall win this last vial of Amortentia."</p><p>A Ravenclaw girl to his left sighed deeply. Lily's lips quirked into a smile.</p><p>"We're going to win it, aren't we?" the Ravenclaw girl said quietly to Lily.</p><p>"Of course, we are, Erin. Severus is not going to win again. And we've got Harry's help, right, Harry?" Lily nudged Harry on the arm, whispering conspiratorially to him. Harry couldn't help but smile.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Griffin claw and salamander blood were the primary ingredients of the potion. And Harry remembered distinctly the Half-Blood Prince's tip on getting Griffin claw to be finely powdered. Instead of simply dumping the claw into a mortar and pestle, one should fold it into parchment and pound it out to smaller pieces so it was easier to grind.</p><p>"I'll help with the claws," he offered, collecting the black hooks. He pulled out some parchment from the supply closet and folded it into a small envelope. With a rolling pin, he pounded and crushed the claws.</p><p>Alarmed by the sound and by the pounding, Lily held out her hand to still Harry's processing. "Wait, what are you doing?" she asked.</p><p>"Making them to powder," he answered.</p><p>"You can just use the mortar."</p><p>"Yeah, but that's going to take too long. By the time the cauldron gets hot enough to add them in, I'd still be grounding them. This is faster."</p><p>Lily looked at him, almost impressed. "Okay. That makes sense."</p><p>Harry continued to pound and roll out the claws. He poured the crushed contents into the mortar and pestle and quickly produced the fine powder most students were unable to achieve by potion's end. Lily had the cauldron going with the base contents. Erin added the diluted salamander blood first, which made the cauldron turn a yellowish-green. Harry followed soon after with the powdered griffin claw. And the solution turned a more visquous turquoise.</p><p>"Five more minutes! Five more minutes of brewing, and we'll test them," Slughorn announced.</p><p>The sound of pestle meeting mortar and the collective groaning of students echoed the room. Snape's voice was noticably absent from the chorus. When Harry peered over, he was already ladling the potion into a vial. The look of concentration seemed so intimate that Harry had to look away.</p><p>Erin was almost done stoppering the vial, and she and Lily shared a determined nod.</p><p>"Time! Please label your vials with your names and have one person from your pairs bring them to the front!" Slughorn called out, wandering back to the front of the classroom.</p><p>Lily brought their labelled vial up. It's bright turquoise color stood out among the darker blue and even grey potions. Out of the ten vials presented, only two held the bright turqoise color:</p><p>Team Lily, Erin, and Harry and Team Severus.</p><p>Over the crowd of students, Harry locked eyes with Snape, who seemed surprised he had any competition at all. Snape narrowed his eyes on the new student.</p><p>Just who was he?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We're going to get some of Severus's POV!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Just who the hell was this kid?</p><p>Why did he have that clueless confidence about him that irked him the same way James did?</p><p>Pounding out the Griffin claws was a smart way of processing them quickly. Lily hadn't done that last week, which was why her potion had ended up looking like the black sludges that the other teams submitted. Severus noted that in his book before closing it again. He clutched his book to his chest and looked expectantly over the table as Slughorn tested the potions.</p><p>A disappointed sigh crossed Slughorn's lips as he examined a grey vial. "Tut-tut, Miss Talkalot. This just looks like a shame. I would have expected more from a Slytherin." He smacked his lips, shaking his head. Nonetheless, he unstoppered the liquid and carefully dipped the paper in. The black liquid clung to the paper, and Slughorn had to wipe it away to read the results. Acidic. Very acidic.</p><p>Slughorn hummed and wrote something that resembled a big circle into his notebook. Severus winced. Lucinda Talkalot was the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team. Getting a 0 in her classes meant remedial lessons, which meant Slytherin's likelihood of winning its games would suffer. Severus couldn't care less about Quidditch, but he enjoyed it when Slytherins were able to sneak in a few punches on Potter. Maybe Severus could help tutor her -- if only to ensure that Potter would get his regularly scheduled pummeling.</p><p>After a series of disappointing tests, Slughorn looked deflated. Severus knew the man liked to save the best for last for this reason.</p><p>"Now, Mr. Snape," he continued, moving down the line, sounding more hopeful when he saw the name and the color of the vial. Severus straightened up and watched him dip the paper in. "Neutral. Perfectly balanced strength. Well done, Mr. Snape!"</p><p>The corners of Severus's lips twitched into a smile. Barely turning his head, he eyed Harry challengingly. To his surprise, Harry met his gaze with that same clueless confidence. Severus hated it. Lily must have noticed his attention because she turned to look at him as well. And when they locked eyes, Severus realized just how similar Harry and Lily's eyes were.</p><p>"Team Lily-Erin-Harry. Rolls right off the tongue!" Slughorn chuckled. A dip of a fresh piece of litmus paper and Slughorn smiled wide. "Neutral!" He compared the strip he used to test Severus's potion, revealing equally pale colors. "Well done, Lily-Erin-Harry!"</p><p>Severus clenched his jaw. He and Lily competed often in their classes, but Potions was where he held his domain. And today -- today, because of this new kid -- he met his match. When Severus looked over at Harry, Harry was already smirking at him.</p><p>"So who's going to get the Amortentia potion?" Erin piped up, asking her question in the same moment that she raised her hand.</p><p>"Ah, well, there's only--"</p><p>"They can have it," Severus answered, cutting in. He couldn't care less about an Amortentia potion. He had no use for it. And little rewards and gifts like these weren't why he excelled at potions. Besides, Severus had every confidence that he could brew his own Amortentia one day.</p><p>"How generous, Mr. Snape," the Potions Professor cried, clapping his hands together. "Congratulations to Mr. Snape and Team Lily-Erin-Harry." He handed the golden vial carefully to Lily, and Erin quickly huddled beside her.</p><p>The two girls laughed giddily amongst themselves, cradling the potion as if it were a treasure. Severus didn't want to imagine what they wanted to do with the love potion. Slughorn dismissed the class.</p><p>He put away his textbook into his bag, eyeing Harry every now and then to make sure he hadn't left yet. He watched as Harry thanked Lily for her help and left. Severus quickly threw the bag over his shoulder and followed him out.</p><p>"Green," he called out. But Harry didn't turn.</p><p>"Green!" Severus called out louder, and Harry seemed startled more by the volume than by his name. When Harry turned, Severus couldn't help but notice how much his bright green eyes resembled Lily's.</p><p>"Snape, how can I --"</p><p>"Where did you learn to brew potions?" Severus cut in, quickly getting to the point.</p><p>Harry seemed to be taken aback by his forwardness, but Severus could see something calculating behind his eyes. Some gears were running in his head. Harry's face softened and quirked into a cocky smile. "Impressed, aren't you?"</p><p>This bloody idiot. He was competitive already. Even though he was hanging out with Evans, he might very well be a Slytherin. Severus didn't know whether to be irked or to actually be impressed. "Where did you learn it?"</p><p>"From my mother," Harry answered. "She was a really smart witch. Taught me everything I knew. She and I brewed a lot of potions. You're pretty good yourself."</p><p>Severus felt the corners of his lips twitch. So there was some potential to this new one. Maybe it wasn't clueless confidence after all. He decided to test him again.</p><p>"Why didn't you ask to share in the potion?"</p><p>"The love potion?" Harry asked.</p><p>"That was partly your prize after all."</p><p>Taking his moment to answer, Harry seemed uncomfortable about the question. "Not my thing. Had a friend who got tricked into drinking some. And it's not something I want to ever use on another person. Why didn't you take it?"</p><p>"Don't have anyone to use it on," Severus quipped back, and he laughed when Harry laughed.</p><p>Severus studied at him for a moment, wondering if the boy could be worth the time. Feeling high from his victory in class, he decided to take the risk. "Have you been around the castle yet?"</p><p>Harry's eyes went round, as if surprised that Severus was offering him something nice. Severus rolled his eyes. "I'll take that as a 'no.' Come on. Stop looking so surprised," he continued. He adjusted his bag and nodded for Harry to follow. "I've got a break before my next class. I'll show you the library. Bet you've never seen a place like it before."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
<p></p></div><p>
  <span class="colour">Harry did his best to appear fascinated by the tall stacks of books and the enchanted ceiling. Snape seemed all too eager to show him everything he knew about the library that he clearly spent a great deal of time in. The library was as Harry remembered it -- vast, spacious, filled with possibilities. It was Hermione who taught him to appreciate the rows and rows of knowledge that was kept here. Sacred texts, advice for love, and everything in between. Harry smiled when he saw that hunger for knowledge was evident in Snape too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">He must have seen it in the older version of him too, but it was less a hunger than it was calculated meal. He was exact with the portion he needed, the percentage of fat and protein. Snape had known exactly what he needed, even if he didn't know what it was. This Snape was hungry for everything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"I usually study here," he concluded, walking into the rear aisle of books just before the Restricted Section. No doubt Snape would sneak into the area when he wanted to explore the darker side of magic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">At the table Snape gestured at, there was a pile of books at the end and a dark-haired Slytherin occupying the desk. The student didn't look up when Snape and Harry walked by, apparently too engrossed in his essay. "I've twenty minutes left to finish this, Sev. Do you mind?" he bit out, not taking a moment from his parchment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Harry made a face and leaned away from the table, exaggerating his recognition of his being an intrusion. "Right. Sor-ry," he whispered sarcastically in a hush that wasn't a whisper at all. Snape's lips quirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">The student paused and lifted his head to look at the boy who dared challenge him. He had dark hair like Harry did, but he kept himself much more neatly. His hair was slicked back; his brows and lips resembled Sirius's soft features. Harry's lips parted in recognition.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"That's the resident grouch. He calls himself Regulus Black, but I think he's simply trying to pass for human," Snape sneered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Shut it. Who's this?" Pale grey eyes scanned Harry's body, lingering on the Hogwarts crest on his chest. Harry knew what Regulus was thinking and why he was so curious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Harry Green. New student," Snape answered, adjusting his book bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Regulus stared at Harry for a long moment before the more pressing issue of an unfinished assignment took his attention away. "Welcome to Hogwarts. Now go away. Rakepick is going to kill me if I don't finish this," he mumbled, waving his hand as if to dismiss the pair of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Taking his cue, Snape nodded for Harry to follow him as they walked out to the courtyard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Don't mind him. He's just stressed about the holidays," Snape offered as an explanation. Harry remembered what Sirius mentioned in the Shrieking Shack the night before. "So, have you thought about which House you want to be Sorted in?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Harry hummed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He hadn't thought about this. It seemed natural to want to be a Slytherin so that he could get closer to Snape and convince him to do something other than join the Death Eaters after he graduated. He wasn't sure exactly when Snape joined the Death Eaters at all or who among his friends had been the one to recruit him, but Harry had his hunches. Lucius Malfoy was chief among them, though he had been long graduated by now. As far as Harry knew, Lucius didn't frequently return to Hogwarts either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"I read about the Houses. They say that you wear a hat, and it tells you which House you'd belong in," Harry began. Snape nodded, encouraging him to continue. "I don't know. Where do you think I belong?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Snape smirked at that, seeming proud that his opinion was sought. "Did your parents go to Hogwarts? What House were they?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Yeah. They did. Both Gryffindors," Harry answered proudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">The taller boy groaned and sighed before shaking his head and collecting himself. "Not all is lost. You're at least capable in Potions." Harry made a point to always, always remember this moment. Severus Snape just told Harry Potter that he was capable in Potions. He could only hope that Snape misinterpreted the wide, bright smile on his face was simply because of his compliment. "I think you'd make a good Slytherin."</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"'Cause you want to mooch Potions answers from me?" Harry teased, inwardly surprised how fluidly that came out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Snape seemed taken aback at how naturally they were talking too, and he looked away from Harry's eyes. "Not enough to mooch from, Green."</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">---</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Snape dropped Harry off outside the Great Hall before heading to his next class. 'The History of Magic will bore you to sleep. I use it to catch up on sleep' was the Slytherin's answer for why he didn't take Harry to his class.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">He fingered the Time Turner in his robe pocket. In a moment when the corridor outside the Great Hall was empty, he pulled it out and examined it. More than two hundred thousand turns took him here. And he had managed to stay almost a full twenty-four hours now. He wondered if it still had enough power to get him home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Footsteps took him from his thoughts, and he stuffed the necklace back into his pockets, walking back to his guest room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">---</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Saul Croaker's book offered no advice for how to reinvigorate a Time Turner or how to check if it had any energy at all. It seemed no one knew how Time Travel was fueled. Harry scanned through the chapters, hoping to find anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">
    <em>"The premise of Time Travel eludes most academic study. Much of what we understand about it comes from anecdotes and first-person accounts. It is unclear how many wizards and witches in history have attempted Time Travel or whether their attempts have resulted in alternate realities. Muggle science has a general consensus that time travel to the past is impossible, so it is unlikely that they have attempted the endeavor.</em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">
    <em>However, Muggles have a knack for bringing up the right questions about the nature of traveling through time. One such paradox is called--"</em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Two knocks on his door pulled him from his reading, and Harry looked up from his seat. He stuffed the book into his magically enlarged pockets and opened the door to find Professor McGonagall waiting outside. Her polite smile masked a general weariness. Harry wondered if she agreed with Dumbledore's decision to let him become a student.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Mr. Green, is it?" she asked. "My name is Minerva McGonagall. I am the Head of the Gryffindor House and Professor of Transfiguration here at Hogwarts. Headmaster Dumbledore has asked me to escort you to the Great Hall for your Sorting." A beat. "He also informed me of your parents' passing. My condolences."</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Thank you, Professor," Harry answered, nodding. The usual sternness about her was there. Her firm but caring was what made Harry trust her so much and why he had sought her out to help him make a bid to the Ministry to acknowledge Snape's contributions to the war. He was quietly glad that she had always been like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">They walked in professional silence through the halls and followed slightly behind her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Once they reached the large and tall double doors, she paused and turned to him. "Follow me down the hall. There will be a stool at the front. Sit on it. I'll make an announcement, and you'll be Sorted. Understood?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Harry nodded wordlessly and followed her in. He could see some students peer over each other to see who McGonagall was escorting in and for what reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">As instructed, he took a seat on the old stool. He looked around and found Lily waving at him, giving him a thumbs up. Harry returned her thumbs up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Good evening, students. We have a special announcement tonight. We will be doing a special Sorting for our new transfer student, Mr. Harry Green," McGonagall began. "I ask for silence as the Sorting Hat deliberates on Mr. Green's House." Hundreds of forks and knives set down on the table, and students leaned over to get a look at the new kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Harry saw Snape watch him expectantly. Regulus was seated beside him, appearing more relaxed than earlier in the library.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">When McGonagall picked up the hat, Harry straightened in his seat. When the old leather hat met his head, he could already hear its humming in his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"Hm, you are not a simple transfer student, are you?" </span>
  </em>
  <span class="colour">the hat mumbled into his mind</span>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">. "No. You've already been Sorted. Or, rather, you've met me before."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Harry's eyes widened. How could he know?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"How could I</span>
  </em>
  <span class="colour"><em> know</em>?"</span>
  <span class="colour"> the hat answered, reading Harry's private thoughts plainly.</span>
  <em>
    <span class="colour"> "I can sense my energy in you. I mark every student who has put me on their head. But I remember every student I have Sorted. I do not remember you."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"Please. I need to be Re-Sorted,"</span>
  </em>
  <span class="colour"> Harry pleaded in his mind, closing his eyes, his legs pressed tightly together. His fingers tightened over each other as if pressed in prayer. <em>"You can't tell anyone."</em><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"Answer me this then: how is it that you have already been sorted to Gryffindor?</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"</span>
  </em>
  <span class="colour"> the hat asked imperiously.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"Do I have your word that you won't tell anyone?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"You have my word, Green."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"I used a Time Turner to come here from the future. We once had a conversation just like this, where you thought I'd be well-suited for both Slytherin and Gryffindor."<br/>
</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"And you still would be."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"Then please, please put me in Slytherin."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"It's going to be a Hatstall," a student whispered, and Harry opened his eyes. He looked around the room, feeling the eyes of hundreds of students upon him. The room suddenly felt very warm, and his cheeks were bright red. His eyes found Snape's. Did Snape look curious or worried?<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="colour">"What you are doing requires a great deal of bravery with equal parts cunning, and loyalty," the hat continued. "You would be well-suited for many Houses here at Hogwarts. But it seems it must be --"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"SLYTHERIN!" the hat shouted, and the Slytherin table erupted in cheers. Snape looked relieved as his peers clapped around him. Harry had a sheen of sweat when he stepped off the stool and walked to his cheering classmates. They patted him on the back as he walked by, welcoming him to the House. He glanced over to the Gryffindor table at the far end of the hall to find Lily looking at him. She gave him a tight smile and returned to her dinner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Over here, Green," Regulus called out, waving at Harry and gesturing at the empty seat in between him and Snape. "Welcome to the best House."</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Smiling and grateful he already had friends, the new Slytherin took his seat next to Snape. "Thanks, Regulus," Harry breathed, letting the relief wash over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"I was sure the hat would put you in Gryffindor," Snape commented dryly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Harry looked over at him and smiled. He was full of hope, and his smile reflected it. Things would work out. He would be able to give Snape the life he deserved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"I asked it to put me in Slytherin."</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Why?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Because you said I'd make a good Slytherin."</span>
</p>
<p></p><div>
<p></p></div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for the comments, kudos, and bookmarks! I just finished outlining the story in full, and do we have an adventure for these boys!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="colour">"Because you said I'd make a good Slytherin."</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Harry's eyes had a light so strong behind it that it seemed to reach out and seize his very soul. Severus could barely look into them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Why did he look so happy when he said it? Why did that matter to him? And worse, why did it make his heart jump the way that it did?</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Schooling his face and looking away, Severus smirked and shook his head. He was silent, if only because he had nothing to say to what Harry had said to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Severus was about to wager money that you'd be in Gryffindor even during the Hatstall," Regulus pointed out. Severus noticed that the fifth-year student had sat a little straighter. He even held his silverware more properly -- whether he wanted to impress or intimidate the new student was up for debate. It did, however, signal to the other Slytherins that Harry was spoke for when it came to friends. He had somehow inadvertently risen to the highest echelons of Slytherin status. "He told me Evans had already eyed you for Gryffindor."</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"It's a good thing I'm not a betting man," Severus answered coolly, scooping a helping of buttered corn on his plate. "Want some?" he offered to Harry. Harry nodded and took the bowl with an almost childish grin. He must not have eaten all day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Regulus seemed to note the exchanged but said nothing of it. "You wouldn't have enough Galleons to part with," the fifth-year teased, earning him a quiet glower from Severus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">The Black family was the wealthiest and most powerful family of all the students at Hogwarts. And Severus knew Regulus befriended him because he was useful to him. They studied together, and Regulus seemed to like the challenge and rigor that he brought to his schoolwork. Among other things, Regulus was so at odds with his brother that it made every sense for the younger Black to befriend the man who his elder brother hated more than anything. Severus had no qualms being used in exchange for being proximate to the Black status in return. It seemed to irk Sirius to no end anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"So, Harry, what's your story?" Severus knew where this conversation was going to go. Regulus did this to everyone he found interesting, including Severus himself. He was seeking out people for the interest of the Black family. Blood purity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Hm? Oh," Harry answered in between bites of food. Had this boy never learned manners? He looked like a brute next to Regulus's fine dining etiquette. "My mum and dad were Gryffindors." </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Severus knew this wasn't the answer Regulus wanted, but maybe the younger boy would finally learn that beating around the bush wasn't a symbol of grace and that it was less confusing to just spell out what he wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"I mean, who were your parents? Where did you come from?" Regulus asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"They-- they passed away," Harry answered. Severus could feel the students next to him tense up as if they've been eavesdropping all along and were stunned that an orphan was among them. "I was taught by my parents. And they died a few months ago. Didn't have anywhere else to go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">Feeling suddenly regretful for the intrusive line of questioning, Regulus stared at the new student. "Sorry. I didn't know," he muttered and looked down at his food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Hogwarts is home to a lot of students," Severus offered, not looking at Harry. Instead, he ate a bite of his potatoes, occupying his mouth with something so he wasn't compelled to say any more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="colour">"Yeah, it is. It's a brilliant place." Harry had that look again. That look of light behind his eyes. Severus's gaze didn't linger this time. He already had the image in his mind.</span>
</p><hr/><p><span class="colour">It had been only two days since the new student joined their dormitory, and already, he and Regulus had learned a great deal about Harry. His parents were both magical -- Pureblood father and Muggleborn mother, making Harry a Half-blood like Severus. Severus decided that the 'Half-Blood Green' didn't have the same ring to his own nickname, so he never mentioned it to Harry. Regulus, on the other hand, seemed impressed that his father was a Pureblood and seemed eager to know his name. There were only so many Purebloods in the world, and, between Regulus </span>and the surviving members of the Black family, they knew all of them.</p><p>Harry, however, did not reveal who his parents were and said only that he couldn't tell them. Severus was curious, but he himself had his own reasons for not talking about his family much. He could understand why Harry might not want the world to know about his family. 'Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.'</p><p>Someone's shoulder shoved against his. His books nearly tumbled out of his hands. It took Severus a moment to pull out of his reverie to realize a very hateful Gryffindor had walked up behind him.</p><p>"Oy, watch it, Snivellus," Sirius sneered, looking back as he walked past him.</p><p>"You very clearly bumped into me," Severus pointed out, narrowing his eyes on the idiot Gryffindor. All brawn and no brain. Why any girl would ever seek him out was beyond Severus. "I was in front of you."</p><p>Sirius paused. In the sudden motion, the shoulder of his robe slipped off. He turned, wheeling around on the heels of his shoes. "And?" The Gryffindor narrowed his eyes on Severus. It looked so full of hate, and Severus wondered what he might have done in his past life to piss this man off so much from the moment they met. "What are you going to do about it, <em>Snivellus</em>?" He was only inches from his face, his chin tilted pridefully.</p><p>"Get away from me, Black," Severus hissed, too proud to step back, to yield any space to Sirius.</p><p>"Give me a <em>reason</em>," Sirius threatened, wild energy spinning behind his eyes. In that moment, Severus thought he looked like a mad dog.</p><p>"Snape!"</p><p>The sound of rapidly inbound footsteps took Severus's attention away for a moment, and he looked over. Harry was coming over, trying to balance his bag as he ran. Sirius glanced over at him before turning his attention back to the Slytherin.</p><p>He leaned in so he could whisper into Severus's ear. "If you want to know, the Shrieking Shack is where we go. <span class="q-box qu-userSelect--text">Prod the knot on the Whomping Willow tree trunk with a long stick, and you'll be able to get in." Sirius moved back and walked away, leaving Severus to deal with his curiosity.</span></p><p>
  <span class="q-box qu-userSelect--text"> There were only two more days until the full moon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="q-box qu-userSelect--text"> "Snape, are you all right?" Harry huffed when he reached him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="q-box qu-userSelect--text"> "I'm fine. I don't need you to -- to do that," Severus pointed out. It made him feel weak and as if he couldn't stand up for himself. Severus fared perfectly fine alone, and he was proud of being able to rely on himself. </span>
</p><p><span class="q-box qu-userSelect--text">"Yeah, well, I can't let you get into detention. I need your help tomorrow to get caught up!" Harry defended. The corners of his lips twitched again. They seemed to do that often around Harry. Severus respected him for acting out of his self-interest.</span> So few Slytherins had his gracelessness to speak things as they were. They all seemed to have picked up the language of politics and manipulation. Harry was refreshingly plain in his intentions. A lesser man would have levied a fee against his wants, but Severus was not a lesser man.</p><p>"Come on. Let's get to lunch."</p><hr/><p>"<em>Muffliato</em>," Severus uttered, casting a barrier around the table so that others couldn't hear what they were talking about. It was Sunday, and, as promised, Severus was there to help Harry catch up on his studies. Harry had offered him ten Galleons per tutoring session, once a week. It was a decent deal. Regulus paid more, but it was more infrequent, and Severus counted the difference as a Pureblood tax.</p><p>They sat in the section of the library where he, Lily, Remus, and occasionally Regulus would study. Ever since the end of his fifth year and that day in the courtyard however, neither Remus nor Lily came by again. And it was clear Lily was still hurt by his slip of tongue. Severus remembered her tearful eyes -- how the light behind them sharpened into rage and then dulled to despair. He never wanted to see Lily look like that again.</p><p>Severus was pulled from his reverie when Harry scratched off something on his parchment.</p><p>They had the same classes, but the professors all gave him remedial assignments to make sure he was up to speed. However, Harry didn't seem to have too many questions. Severus didn't blame him. He was likely still orienting to the school. And so the tutoring session became a quiet study session.</p><p>He peered over at Harry's remedial mathematics assignment, checking the answers every so often. They were all correct.</p><p>"Are you sure you needed my help?" Severus asked.</p><p>"Helps to have someone I can ask," Harry answered, not looking up from his parchment.</p><p>Severus fell silent and returned to his own work. Professor Binns always assigned such long essays. Severus's thin writing meant he always ended up writing longer analysis than most of his students. His mind flitted to his encounter with Sirius the day before.</p><p>"And what if I have a question for you?" Severus piped up after a moment.</p><p>Humming, Harry paused his quill and tapped his bottom lip with the end of the feather. "Ten sickle discount for every question," he answered finally.</p><p>"Ten sickle discount?" Severus questioned in surprise.</p><p>"Yes. That's ten sickles down."</p><p>"Were you always a brat?"</p><p>Harry looked up at him, clear amusement in his eyes. "Yes. Twenty sickles."</p><p>"Brat," Severus muttered, rolling his eyes. Whatever curiosity he had died with Harry's antics.</p><p>"What was your question?" Harry asked, his voice faintly softer.</p><p>Severus ignored him for a moment, pretending that he was in deep concentration and in dire need to finish the sentence he was writing. Deciding to relent his anger, he set down his quill. "I have a puzzle for you."</p><p>Harry turned in his seat so that he could pay attention.</p><p>"Four students have been sneaking out of bed at least once every month for the past two years. It always occurs in the evening right before sundown. And each evening also happens to be a full moon. One of them consistently misses his classes the day after. What are those four students doing?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So that was why Sirius approached Snape like that. Harry felt a sick feeling in his stomach that Remus's recollection of this very event was that Sirius simply found it 'amusing' to trick Snape into seeing a werewolf's transformation.</p><p>But Snape seemed so earnest, so curious. His dark eyes had that hunger for knowledge, and it seemed ready to devour whatever Harry was going to say. The puzzle was truly a puzzle for him, not just a riddle to dangle in front of Harry. They were hard to look away from when they were fixated like that.</p><p>Harry pressed his lips together and furrowed his brow, thinking of any answer but the truth. It was a difficult task to do deliberately. Usually, these things came to him eventually but not now, not under that gaze. He glanced upward, scanning the stacks of books above them for help.</p><p>"I've not heard this riddle before," he answered lamely.</p><p>"Because it's not a riddle," Snape sighed, shaking his head. Harry knew it was an unsatisfactory answer to his hungry mind, and that meant the beast would look elsewhere to find its food. Even somewhere dangerous. "Never mind. It's nothing." Snape sat back in his chair and resumed his essay writing.</p><p>"They probably need to do something at night but with enough light to see what they're doing," Harry offered, disliking how quickly Snape retreated when he lost his interest.</p><p>Snape raised a brow and looked over at Harry. He produced his wand and waved it by his head. Wordlessly, he cast '<em>Lumos</em>' and the tip of his wand lit up. The look on his face seemed to say 'there are other means to produce light.' The tilt of his head amended the sentiment with 'you stupid dunderhead.'</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, I know you can light it up. Good job." At this, Snape scowled and waved his wand, ceasing the light. "But aren't there plants you can only grow well in the moonlight?" Harry continued.</p><p>"You think four Gryffindors are sneaking out at night to check on their bloody moonflowers?" It came out so sarcastically that Harry was impressed Snape hadn't rolled his eyes out of his head.</p><p>"Okay. What's your theory then, All-Knowing One?" Harry answered with equal sarcasm but without the bite that Snape's sarcasm bore.</p><p>Snape's lips twitched again, as if suppressing a smile. "What is something that can only occur in the full moonlight?"</p><p>"Moonflowers," Harry supplied quickly.</p><p>"<em>Besides moonflowers</em>," Snape sighed, almost irritated. "And they can occur at any phase of the moon!"</p><p>The expectant expression Snape had on his face told Harry that he already knew the answer; he only wanted someone to reach the same conclusion as he would. Harry's mind went back to Saul Croaker's book on time travel, about the paradox. Was he the one who supplied Snape the curiosity to go to the Shrieking Shack? Was he the one who led him to his doom? He swallowed thickly and looked down at the back of Snape's chair. An uneasy feeling itched behind his concealed scar. </p><p>"Werewolf," Harry uttered, fear sinking into his skin.</p><p>Snape smiled darkly, happy that his new companion had a mind to complement his own. "Yes. Werewolf," he answered smoothly.</p><p>Think, Harry. <em>Think</em>. Lead him away from it. Make him uninterested. Harry looked up at Snape, meeting those hungry eyes again. He remembered the time he yelled at Snape to shut up. The memory seemed particularly strong. Harry could see the memory in front of him, wisps of his past laid over the very real boy before him. The words seemed to echo in his mind as if the Snape before him had uttered them:</p><p>
  <em>"I would hate for you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter. Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you--your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn't got cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts." </em>
</p><p>Harry recoiled inwardly at the memory, staring blankly ahead. Dumbledore swam in his vision.</p><p>
  <em>“Funny, the way people’s minds work, isn’t it? Professor Snape couldn’t bear being in your father’s debt. I do believe he worked so hard to protect you this year because he felt that would make him and your father even. Then he could go back to hating your father’s memory in peace.”</em>
</p><p>"Green? Green!" Snape shook Harry's shoulder for the third time when he didn't seem to respond. </p><p>Harry snapped from his reverie, his eyes refocusing on Snape's concerned face. Snape pulled his hand back when it seemed Harry was back to the present. "Sorry. I--"</p><p>"It's nothing to be scared of," Snape cut in. And in between memory and reality, for a brief moment of clear lucidity, Harry saw the bravery Snape had always had.</p><p>Harry nodded and tried not to seem so out of it. "You think there are four werewolves in Gryffindor?" he blurted. It was the only thing he could think of before he was waylaid by his memories.</p><p>"No. I think there's one, and the rest are there to support him. I think Remus Lupin is a werewolf," Snape answered firmly. "He's the one who missed classes the day after. Probably recovering."</p><p>Harry considered the information. From the way Remus had told him, Snape didn't know what he was going to find. But Snape knew all this time, and he still went looking for them. The word 'reckless' came to mind, but so did the word 'paradox.' Had Harry supplied him information to go seeking out the Marauders or to stay away from them? From the fact that he hadn't faded away or caused irreparable damage to the space-time continuum -- at least, none that Harry could see, though he wasn't sure what to look for -- he concluded that it must be the former.</p><p>"What are you going to do?" Harry asked.</p><p>"One of the four just told me valuable information for where to find them," Snape answered in so straightforward a way that Harry knew he was going to go searching for Remus.</p><p>"What if there's actually a werewolf? Then it'd be dangerous."</p><p>"And what if there isn't and I've caught four Gryffindors for more House points for us?" Snape countered neutrally, not really believing in what he said but needing to point out the alternatives.</p><p>How annoying Snape was even now to always need to be right -- or, at least presently, not wrong. Harry narrowed his eyes on the student. "You're going to risk getting mauled to death just to observe Schrödinger's cat?"</p><p>His head moving back fractionally, Snape was surprised again by Harry's knowledge. The boy didn't carry it around him like a sword and shield like Snape did. But when it mattered, when the theory applied, Harry was smarter than he appeared. "Schrödinger's wolf," Snape corrected, smirking.</p><hr/><p>Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>Harry paced around the corridors, going nowhere in particular, just following the general traffic. He hadn't gotten much done after Snape confirmed that he would be going to find out about the werewolf. When pressed for details, Snape had dodged them, and Harry couldn't press further, for fear of crossing the line of suspicion that Snape seemed to always have.</p><p>The dark wooden doors blurred into the pale stone walls as he walked past them. Thankfully, on Sundays, students were out and about or milling with their friends in the Common Rooms. It left Harry with ample space to think.</p><p>His father had been the one to stop Snape. But how was he to tell James that Snape had intentions to go to the Shrieking Shack without Snape revealing that information? He wished he had his friends to help him.</p><p>He passed by the girl's bathroom -- the one no one frequented because Moaning Myrtle haunted it, the one that held the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets. He remembered the hours he would spend inside with Hermione, helping her with the Polyjuice Potion. It was fortunate that he learned to brew it himself and had a small cache of it in his robes.</p><p>Maybe he could write James an anonymous note, warning him that someone may be onto their secret. But then he would just confront Snape too soon.</p><p>Maybe he wouldn't need to write a note at all. Maybe things would work out in the way that Remus described it -- that James caught Snape before he entered the Shack. Maybe Harry didn't need to do anything at all.</p><p>Harry groaned loudly and sat down on a bench, his head in his hands. How was it that he was from the future and still didn't know how the past worked!</p><p>Frustrated, he stared at the high ceilings. The articulate arches gave him no answers, so Harry closed his eyes.</p><p>His singular goal was to keep Snape safe. There was no version of this encounter that resulted in Snape getting hurt, so Harry had to ensure that. He mentally pathed out the route from the Slytherin Common Room to the Whomping Willow. He'd have to follow him that night to make sure he was stopped before he went into the Shrieking Shack.</p><p>"That's not a place to sleep."</p><p>Harry opened his eyes and found two Gryffindor Prefects looking down at him. Lily and James. His parents. His heart ached seeing them together like this. They were younger versions of the people he had seen in the Mirror of Erised. Up close like this, James really did look a lot like him, but there was a harder edge to him. Lily looked more concerned than eager to enforce the rules.</p><p>James didn't wear the Prefect badge nearly as proudly as Lily did, and Harry wondered if he worked to become a Prefect because he knew Lily wanted to be one.</p><p>"Sorry. I think I got lost trying to explore the castle. Needed to rest my feet," Harry lied quickly.</p><p>"You're Green, right?" James asked, warily eyeing the Slytherin patch on his robes.</p><p>"Yeah. Harry Green."</p><p>"I've seen you hanging out with Severus Snape a lot. Let me give you some advice because you're new," he continued cockily. Harry couldn't tell if this was simple Slytherin-Gryffindor rivalry or if James hated anyone who hung out with Snape.</p><p>Harry sat up straighter. James's tone reminded him of a certain Draco Malfoy.</p><p>"Stop it, James. Look, Harry, just don't nap around here. If you're lost, we can take you back to your dormitory," Lily cut in.</p><p>The new student stood up, sizing up James. "Why don't you like him? He's done nothing bad to me."</p><p>James smirked at that and shifted his weight from one leg to another, his hands pushing back his robes as he slipped his hands into his trouser pockets. A power move. Harry had seen Draco do similarly stupid shit in school. James tilted his head up, looking down his nose at Harry, sizing him up in return. "And you do?" he sneered.</p><p>"James," Lily warned.</p><p>"No, Evans," James cut in, holding up a hand. Harry hated how rudely his father had dismissed his mother. "I want to hear what he has to say. You like him?" he repeated, stepping in front of Lily.</p><p>"I've no reason to dislike him, but you clearly do," Harry answered simply.</p><p>"Because you don't know him. Everyone knows he's going to be a Death Eater. He's a loner, a weirdo. Knew more curses coming into Hogwarts than even seventh years! It's not a wonder why the people who do hang out with him have to pay him. He doesn't know how to be a friend to anyone without money. Do you really want to be around a Death Eater?" James reached over a placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry would have savored this moment with his father if he weren't such an arse. "You seem like a decent kid, Green. Evans told me how you helped her in Potions. You don't have to hang out with people like him."</p><p>Harry pushed away the arm with the back of his hand. "I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks." He looked over apologetically at Lily, ignoring how affronted James appeared. "I'll find my way back on my own." Walking away, he didn't spare the pair a second glance. They may one day grow into honorable adults, but today was not that day. </p><p>"Harry, we can help you find--"</p><p>"Let the fag go."</p><p>Harry stopped in his steps.</p><p>"James!" Lily yelled.</p><p>A thought came to Harry, and he continued walking away</p><hr/><p>Once he rounded a corner, he ducked into an empty room and pulled on his Invisibility Cloak.</p><p>"You shouldn't have said that." Lily's voice echoed through the open doorway. Moments later, Harry saw her walk by with James. "That's not any better than what Severus said to me."</p><p>James said nothing, though he didn't look happy about hearing an earful from Lily. As if itchy to do anything but have to passively listen to Lily's lecture, he reached over to the open door. Harry quickly sidestepped out the door before he could close it. He followed closely behind the pair.</p><p>"James Potter, do you hear me!"</p><p>"Yes, I <em>hear</em> you, Evans!" James stopped in their walking and rounded on Lily. "But he clearly has something going on with Snivellus!"</p><p>"His name is Severus," Lily corrected, gritting her teeth.</p><p>Harry stood directly behind his father and pointed his wand at his head. A quick spell, and Harry quickly walked away.</p><p>James reflexively brought a hand to the back of his head, feeling around his scalp. Confused, he looked back to find nothing.</p><hr/><p>On the evening of the full moon, after classes, Harry followed Snape like a shadow. He didn't go to dinner. Harry found him waiting around in the courtyard. Still under his cloak, he watched Snape read quietly. James's words returned to him. Snape was alone. The moonlight seemed to highlight how old his school robes were.</p><p>Harry looked down at his folded Marauders Map and stared at where the Marauders were sitting during dinner. One by one, they left the Great Hall. Harry followed the moving footsteps through the castle and over the stone bridge and out the North Tower. Beyond the North Tower, the map stopped, and no activity could be seen inside the Shack.</p><p>"<em>Tempus</em>," Snape uttered. As if the time gave him the right answer, the Slytherin stood up and closed his book. He looked around him, double checking that no one was around, and walked off toward the Whomping Willow.</p><p>Harry followed a few paces behind him.</p><p>Snape looked back a few times, making sure he wasn't followed. There were moments when Harry was certain he saw right through him.</p><p>He watched as Snape looked around him for a long stick. When he couldn't find a stick long enough to reach the Willow, he resorted to throwing stones at the root to no avail. Harry thought he looked endearing in how much effort he put towards satisfying his curiosity. He looked down at the map again. No activity came out of the tree. Where the hell was his father?</p><p>A long howl echoed through the night air. The transformation had already begun. Harry scanned the map frantically. Only 'Severus Snape' and 'Harry Green' hovered around the area.</p><p>Snape grunted, and Harry looked up again. He had been knocked off his feet by a swinging branch, but not before he managed to throw a rock strong enough to immobilize the tree.</p><p>No. Harry frantically studied his map. No activity. Snape was already standing up again.</p><p>Harry downed the potion and threw off his school robes. After a moment of transformation, he ripped away his cloak.</p><p>"Snape!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Severus whirled around. He was certain no one had followed him. To his surprise, he was confronted by none other than James bloody Potter.</p><p>"I already know what's in there!" he snarled. "You and your little friends are harboring a werewolf!"</p><p>"I'm warning you," James threatened. "Leave now!"</p><p>Severus pulled out his wand and pointed it at the Gryffindor who was without his robe and tie. James pulled his own out in return.</p><p>"<em>Stupefy!</em>" A jet of red shot forward.</p><p>"<em>Protego!</em>" A bluish-white shield formed in front of James, deflecting the stunning hex back.</p><p>Severus ducked away, side-stepping the deflection, quickly resuming his dueling dance. Before he could recover, a spell knocked the air from his lungs, and Severus flew into the air. His arm caught against the Willow's branch, and he landed painfully onto his back.</p><p>"Potter!" Severus roared, unable to move from the floor. He couldn't see where Potter was. "Potter!"</p><p>After what felt like minutes, James appeared in his view. He looked almost surprised and stunned that Severus was on the ground for so long. Was this yet another time when Potter exerted more magic than he intended? Probably. Severus felt like shit. Why was he wearing his robes? Where did he even get them? Had he really considered leaving him like this?</p><p>Wordlessly, James roughly hauled him to his feet, and Severus swayed, unable to fully control his body. The Gryffindor wrapped an arm around Severus's shoulder, pulling him forward."You're going to pay for this," Severus hissed.</p><p>"What the hell are you even doing here!" James bit out, glaring at him as he dragged him away.</p><p>"So who the hell is it? Clearly not you."</p><p>"Is <em>what</em>?" James snapped, roughly tugging Severus forward when his immobilized feet lagged.</p><p>"The werewolf, Potter!" Severus yelled, frustrated and embarrassed beyond all belief. His face twisted in anger.</p><p>James was silent for a long time, his jaw clenched. "Who do you <em>think</em>, Snivellus?" he answered, his voice rough and low. He was glaring forward, resolutely not looking at the Slytherin.</p><p>"Lupin." Severus inclined his head to look at James's expression.</p><p>James narrowed his eyes at the distance. "If you knew, then you would've died trying what you did."</p><hr/><p>Severus didn't know whether explaining to Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor Slughorn what had happened was worse than having to live through what had happened. At least James wasn't around to watch. The idiot Gryffindor had the sense to simply drop him off to Madame Pomfrey and leave.</p><p>"It is very kind of you to be concerned of your fellow classmates' well-being, Severus," Dumbledore explained, his voice calm and collected.</p><p>"I didn't do it out of concern for them," Severus cut in, glaring at the old man. He always acted like he knew everything, like everything was planned. He hated that about Dumbledore. He didn't always know everything, and Severus knew that it was impossible for him to actually be omniscient.</p><p>"I think you did," Dumbledore answered simply, inclining his head to look at him over his half-moon spectacles. "But whatever the motivation, I am glad that Mr. Potter intervened in a timely manner, and you are unharmed." Severus opened his mouth as if ready to correct Dumbledore, but the older man continued. "I, along with the other faculty of the school, am aware of Mr. Lupin's condition. We have decided that, despite his illness, he deserves an education, and we have provided the Shrieking Shack as a place for him to safely transform."</p><p>Slughorn nodded solemnly, as if he were somehow a part of the generosity in the decision.</p><p>"Potter and his friends have been --"</p><p>"Breaking curfew? Sneaking off grounds? Yes, that, too, we are aware, but had you a friend who needed your help, would you not also transgress the rules for their sake?"</p><p>Severus closed his mouth. He couldn't refute the accusation. If Lily were in trouble, he'd break any rule to help her. If Lily still considered him a friend.</p><p>"Five points awarded to Slytherin for your demonstration of concern for your fellow classmates," Dumbledore concluded, patting him on the arm. He rose to his feet and left with Slughorn in tow. Snape didn't bother saying 'good-bye.'</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>The moment he stepped through the threshold of the Slytherin Common Room, Harry collapsed to the ground. He let out a huge breath of relief. He was back to safety at last. His knees were up to his chest, and his arms dangled over them.</p><p>In order to save his stash of Polyjuice Potion, Harry used only a half-portion of one serving -- just enough to last about ten minutes. He had planned to impersonate his father just long enough to knock Snape out and drag him away. What he didn't expect was for the real James Potter to suddenly appear from the Willow. Harry had never been so grateful for the darkness of night. He had scurried back to his discard cloak and vanished himself from view before James could see him. Harry only prayed that Snape didn't see him either, but from the exchange that the two had as they walked slowly made their way back to the castle, it didn't seem he noticed the change between Harry's James and the real James.</p><p>Harry still hadn't spontaneously combusted, so he took it as a good sign that things had happened as they were meant to. But Merlin, was it close.</p><p>"You look like you've seen a ghost."</p><p>Harry screamed, and his gaze shot upward. A sigh in frustration crossed his lips when he found Regulus looking down at him from behind a half-folded copy of the Prophet. "You scared me. What are you still doing up?" he breathed, pushing up to his feet.</p><p>"I could ask you the same thing." A portrait of a very mean-looking old man who resembled Lucius Malfoy was on the back of the Prophet. He looked intimidating even thought he was glaring angrily at Harry upside down. 'The New Malfoy Family' was the title of the article.</p><p>"Running from-- from Peeves," Harry lied, gesturing a thumb vaguely behind him.</p><p>Regulus pressed his lips together and nodded once as he unfolded the newspaper to resume reading. He looked like he was no longer interested in Harry at all.</p><p>"What are you doing up?" Harry asked after a moment of wondering whether Regulus was going to continue the conversation.</p><p>"Reading."</p><p>Harry stared at the newspaper obscuring Regulus, wondering if his answer was really going to just be the most obvious thing in the world. But when he didn't seem to say any more, Harry stood up and retreated further down to his dormitory.</p><p>"Severus is in the infirmary," Regulus announced suddenly, not looking away from the newspaper.</p><p>"What? Why?" Harry asked, backtracking. "What happened?"</p><p>"Dunno."</p><p>Furrowing his brow, he stared at the seated boy, waiting for him to give him more details.</p><p>"It's beneath a Slytherin to show so much concern," Regulus addressed the expectant silence, still not looking away from the newspaper. "Besides, it's after curfew."</p><p>"Then it's a bloody good thing I don't care about that kind of shit," he hissed. Harry turned on his heels and rushed out the door. The heavy door slammed shut behind him.</p><p>Regulus lifted his head, staring at the closed door, almost wishing he had the new kid's boldness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Severus was dismissed from the infirmary not more than an hour after he was let in. His bruises were mended, and the hex had largely worn off. He was on his way back to the dungeons when he heard footsteps. If Filch were going to accost him again, at least he had a note from Pomfrey to be out in the halls.</p><p>To his surprise, however, around the corner came a certain Harry Green. A mess of black hair, breathy puffs of air, crumpled robes, bright eyes. Severus's cheeks reddened when Harry seemed to have found what he was looking for. And that person was him.</p><p>"Snape!" he huffed. "What are you doing out the infirmary?"</p><p>"Got released," Severus answered, producing the pale yellow note from Madame Pomfrey. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Regulus told me you were in hospital. I was coming to make sure you were all right."</p><p>Severus reddened even further. What the hell was he saying? Of course he was all right. He didn't need Green to make such a big display about it.</p><p>"I'm fine. You didn't need to --" Severus caught himself repeating what he said to Harry before when he had intervened between him and Sirius. "I don't need you to look after me." Despite what Dumbledore said, he didn't need a friend who transgressed rules for his sake. He was perfectly fine alone. He'd driven away his only friend, and that was enough. He didn't need another weak point for others to exploit. Severus caught himself from exploring the thoughts any further. Since when was Harry a friend?</p><p>"Yeah, but who's going to tutor --"</p><p>"Find another tutor," Severus snapped, glaring at Harry. That wasn't going to work twice. And Harry clearly didn't need his help.</p><p>He walked past him, ignoring the hurt evident on Harry's face.</p>
<hr/><p>"You're back," Regulus voiced, not looking up from his paper when Severus walked into the Common Room. The dark green hues from the Black Lake made the fifth year look almost ghoulish.</p><p>"You're up," Severus pointed out. "And you told Harry." Why was everyone so nosy all of a sudden? At least Regulus had the sense to not make a whole bloody show of it.</p><p>Regulus unfolded his legs and folded his paper, laying it over his lap. "You don't send a king to do a dog's work," he answered simply, smiling too innocently to actually be innocent.</p><p>He tried not to think about how Harry had looked like a kicked puppy when he walked away from him. Still, he agreed with 'the king's' sentiment, but he did notice that Regulus was beating around the bush again. A king wasn't afraid to say what he wanted. And so he waited silently for him to get to his point. The uneasy silence seemed to have gotten to Regulus. Almost annoyed by his own impatience, he folded his hands over the paper. "How are you feeling?"</p><p>"Fine," he quipped coolly.</p><p>"You can walk?"</p><p>"Obviously."</p><p>"You can dance?" Severus narrowed his eyes on the seated boy. "I'm not your monkey."</p><p>Regulus reached into his robes and produced an opened envelope. A dark green envelope with gold trimmings with the Malfoy family crest embossed on the front. "Lucius Malfoy has taken over the Malfoy estate. He married last year and has assumed the Malfoy Manor," the king explained. "He's revitalizing the Malfoy Winter Solstice Ball this year. Naturally, he's invited me." Regulus looked up at Severus through his lashes. "And I have a plus-one."</p><p>The taller boy folded his arms. Regulus was trying to paint this as an opportunity for him, but Severus could see it was the king who wanted something from him. "And?"</p><p>"And a king needs a Prince," Regulus answered, smirking.</p><p>Severus scoffed. "Dream on, Black."</p><p>The Common Room door opened and in walked Harry, appearing more dejected than when he'd left him. Severus glanced at him, and Regulus watched him from the corners of his eyes. Harry walked past the pair, pretending not to notice them and hoping they would reciprocate the favor.</p><p>"Two hundred Galleons," Regulus announced, giving Harry the ignorance he desired.</p><p>They watched as Harry retreated down the steps to their dormitory. "Three hundred," Severus negotiated. "I'll need to get dress robes."</p><p>"Deal." Regulus slipped the invitation back into robes. "Always a pleasure, Severus."</p><p>Severus smirked and walked down the stairs. "Good night, Regulus."</p>
<hr/><p>The days that followed, Harry seemed to have taken a cue to stay away. He sat alone during lunch. Occasionally, Regulus would sit with him, but neither of them seemed to talk about anything substantial. Harry also studied in different parts of the library and came back to the dormitory later than he had earlier.</p><p>To save up for the holidays, Severus began taking on more tutees. Lucinda Talkalot seemed only too eager to pay for his time. She was not at all doing well in her classes.</p><p>He went to Hogsmeade one day and snuck out to Diagon Alley through the Floo network to do some shopping for the Solstice Ball. According to Regulus, it had once been <em>the</em> ball of balls. Anyone who was worth their family name would be there, and another certain families were invited. It was where people found the connections for jobs and promotions. It was where students got the edge after graduation. It was where Regulus hoped to be recruited to be a Death Eater, a goal they both shared.</p><p>Where Regulus was adept in Quidditch and healing charms, Severus was adept in Potions and curses. Together, they were unstoppable.</p><p>Severus had been invited to the Malfoy Manor once during his first winter holidays. Lucius had always been kind to him. He must have liked that he seemed so studious and unafraid of trying new things. Lucius showed him the life of a wealthy family. A manor that contained not just one home but multiple homes -- each with multiple bedrooms and living spaces. A spacious garden that boasted of all sorts of flowers and even herbs. A small owlery for their many birds. They even had peacocks just wandering around their pond! Severus had the chance to stay for a week, and he wished he could have shown it to his mother. He wanted to have the power to promise her a life like this.</p><p>It was during his week-long stay that he had a crash course in upper class etiquette -- which spoon was for what purpose, how to sit up straight, how to fold one's robes. Lucius had been patient with him, despite his father's objections. Even Narcissa vouched for him to stay when Abraxas found out he was only a Half-blood. But it seemed that neither of their vouching helped sway him as he was never invited to the Manor again after that.</p><p>On the last day of the Winter term, Severus had already finished all his tests. He waited for the dormitory to clear and dressed up in his dress robes. They were the nicest dress robes he had ever owned. Its high collars and deep blue color lined his chest and back, flowing out behind him. The tight trousers seemed to elongate his already long legs. He looked at the mirror and noticed how his hair didn't match how his dress robes flowed around him. He plucked up the ribbon that came with the box and tied his hair back.</p><p>The dormitory door opened, and Severus froze when Harry walked in.</p><p>Severus flushed a deep shade of red, and Harry stared at him. The shorter boy looked like he hadn't slept in days.</p><p>"Take a picture, Green. It'll last longer," Severus bit out, narrowing his eyes.</p><p>"Oh, uh, wha-- sorry. Um, what was I --" Stiltedly, Harry walked to the trunk by his bed and plucked out his textbook. "Forgot my book," he muttered sheepishly.</p><p>Severus narrowed his eyes on him, waiting for him to make a joke or a jibe. </p><p>"You look good." Good for a pig, Severus finished on his behalf. Good for a crooked offspring of a dime-store whore. But Harry didn't insult him. He seemed so nakedly sincere that it made Severus feel ignoble for having thought those insults at all. "Are you going to a wedding?"</p><p>"Malfoy's Winter Solstice Ball," Severus corrected.</p><p>"Wow. Hope you have fun. You're going to blow all the others away."</p><p>What was Harry doing? What was he fishing for? He clearly didn't mean any of it. Severus clenched his jaw, closing his thoughts to the other Slytherin. "Don't you have finals to study for?"</p><p>"Yeah, last one's tonight. Not sure if it's worth going. It'd be the second one I'd fail," Harry sighed, scratching the back of his head. He waved the textbook that he picked up earlier. Arithmancy.</p><p>"You were fine the last time I tutored you," Severus pointed out.</p><p>"Because I had a tutor then," Harry answered, sounding almost sad. Severus saw a kicked puppy. He perked up suddenly and took in a sharp breath. "I'll just have to do my best." He clapped a hand over the book and walked toward the door.</p><p>Severus watched him leave. And what he was about to do was inexplicable even to himself. "Green," he called out. Harry stopped at the doorway and looked back. "Will you be staying here for the holidays?"</p><p>"Yeah. Why?"</p><p>"I'll come back from the party and tutor you."</p><p>Harry's eyes lit up again, and Severus stilled, his heart skipping a beat when he recognized the light for what it was. "See you after the party then," Harry answered, waving at him and running up the stairs so Severus couldn't change his mind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>너는 또 다른 나의 미래<br/>You are my future<br/>영원히 계속될 Love way<br/>A love way that will last forever</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Malfoy Manor looked different. It was still impressively grand and spacious, but it didn't have the air of oppression that it once had when Abraxas had been the head of the family. It was brighter, more hopeful. The trimmings that were once grey were buffed to silver. The bushes that lined the main building were trimmed lower so that they could be shaped to the current head's liking. The music that bound the people to the space was lively and loud. Severus ventured to call it all 'romantic.'</p><p>Lucius certainly looked like he was in love as he floated around the crowd with his new spouse. His long blond hair was tied back by a thick black ribbon, which matched his long, tailored dark dress robes. Lucius was always stunningly handsome, and the man knew it. Severus swore he caught him practicing his smiles in the boy's bathroom in his first year. And Narcissa -- she looked as lovely as ever. If possible, she seemed to carry herself with more poise than before. Out of all his cousins, Regulus seemed to admire her the most. Where Andromeda fled the family for love and Bellatrix married out of obligation, Narcissa seemed to manage the best of both worlds.</p><p>Severus accompanied Regulus wherever he went, doing his best to make him seem important. Three hundred Galleons was nothing to sniff at, and he was going to earn his keep. He talked up Regulus's Quidditch awards and healing abilities to the Carrows, who found it all very fascinating. He managed to convince them to pass along the information to those who might also find it fascinating. It was an open secret what that meant. It was a polite imperative to push the information to the Dark Lord himself. To their suppressed surprise, the Carrows had agreed.</p><p>Out of the corners of his eyes, Severus caught some Durmstrang students talking to Lucius, who didn't seem too interested and was scanning the crowd for someone worth his time. When they locked eyes, Lucius grinned widely, excusing him from the conversation and wading his way towards him. Despite his fast-beating heart, Severus did his best to not appear excited to see the man who had done so much for him when he was younger.</p><p>Regulus nudged him on the side to get him to stand up straighter, and Severus did.</p><p>"Severus! Regulus! Look at you!" Lucius announced loudly, genuine joy on his face. "It's been years since I've clapped eyes on you two! You clean up well, Severus." He enveloped the both of them in his arms, and Severus couldn't help but smile.</p><p>"Likewise, Lucius," Regulus answered diplomatically.</p><p>"It's good to see you too, Lucius," Severus answered quietly, falling into the role of the younger brother Lucius seemed to have assigned him.</p><p>"Come on. Let's go to the garden and catch up," the blond suggested, patting the pair on their shoulders.</p><p>The garden was lit with enchanted floating balls of light. They swam around them slowly as they walked past them. They stopped around a high table, and Lucius snapped his fingers. "Dobby!"</p><p>Out popped a house elf who looked at once frightened but eager to help. "Yes, Master Lucius. How can Dobby be of service?"</p><p>"The 1934 Veuve-Clicquot. Three glasses and bring the rest of the bottle on ice." Dobby nodded and disappeared, reappearing seconds later with the chilled champagne already poured into the glasses and placed in an ice bucket. He set the ornate golden tray on the table and disappeared once again.</p><p>"From France," Regulus noted, showing off his knowledge. "Your family's wineries?"</p><p>Lucius quirked a brow at him, the corners of his lips tugging into an impressed smile. "Extended family. When we moved from France, we had to give up much of our business ties with them. From time to time, we still provide the distribution for the winery onto the island," Lucius supplied, clinking his glass to Regulus's flute. "But enough about me. Tell me what you've been up to at Hogwarts. Still practicing those hexes, Severus?" he asked, nudging Severus with his elbow.</p><p>"Always," Severus answered, taking a sip. It tasted as if someone had carbonated his strengthening potion. Disgusting. But he didn't let it show on his face. "Regulus is a Seeker for our Quidditch team, and he's been doing quite a job beating the Gryffindors to the ground."</p><p>"It's nothing," Regulus took a sip abashedly, despite knowing how planned these platitudes were.</p><p>"Not nothing. He's also a great healer. He and I invented a healing spell against one of my hexes."</p><p>"As expected from the great Black family," Lucius commended, patting him on the back. Regulus seemed uncomfortable with that sentiment. Severus knew exactly why. "Narcissa always told me you were her favorite cousin." The king seemed to brighten at that.</p><p>"Severus is an ace with Potions. He's the best -- second to none in all the school," Regulus commented.</p><p>Lucius clinked his glasses against Severus's. "Always knew you had it in you," he commended.</p><p>"Thank you," Severus mumbled, drinking another bitter sip. He glanced at Regulus, who nodded fractionally. "Lucius. I was wondering if the rumors were true."</p><p>"Rumors?" the elder asked, feigning innocence.</p><p>Severus subtly touched his own left forearm.</p><p>"Ah." Lucius hummed, looking around him before lifting his left sleeve. The Dark Mark pulsed on his pale skin. The raise dark ink looked alive. A skull with its mouth agape and snake crawling through it.</p><p>Regulus wet his lips and stared at the famed Mark. Neither had seen one up close like this before.</p><p>"How did you do it?" Regulus asked in a whisper, mesmerized by the Mark.</p><p>"You have to prove your worth to Him. You two are well on your way there," Lucius answered in a whisper, pulling down his sleeve and taking a sip. He used it as an excuse to glance around and make sure no one else had seen. It was an open secret at this point, but it was still not something to talk about among polite company.</p><p>Severus straightened up and looked up at the elder. "Does He recruit students? I can make him potions."</p><p>Lucius shook his head. "I've not seen Him take on anyone who was still a student, but He might give them the Mark and have them join immediately after graduation. Between you and me, I think you two have a shot to do that."</p><p>"What's it like?" Regulus asked eagerly. "Working for Him?"</p><p>"Like nothing I've ever done. He gives you exactly what you want. And He knows it before you do," Lucius answered, almost mesmerized. "The power... It's second to none." He finished off his champagne and patted Severus on the back again. "Keep up the good work. I'll talk to you more next year." The wink he gave Severus sealed the deal, and Severus stared at his retreating body with a stunned look on his face. The garden was empty except for himself and Regulus.</p><p>He was going to be tapped to be a Death Eater. Power. Wealth. He'd have it.</p><p>Severus was pulled from his reverie by the hand on his shoulder, and he blinked, looking down at Regulus. Regulus was smiling. He had that light in his eyes, and the yellow glowing lights amplified the feelings behind them.</p><p>"I told you it would be worth your time to come," Regulus teased.</p><p>Captivated by his eyes, Severus softened. "You knew."</p><p>Shrugging, Regulus walked closer, closing the gap between them. "I had a feeling," he said, sliding his other hand up around Severus's shoulders.</p><p>Severus smirked. The pieces all fell into place. "Bastard." He placed his hands on the other boy's hips.</p><p>"Dance with me." Regulus's voice dropped to a whisper as he moved even closer, his face inches from his.</p><p>"There's no music."</p><p>"Doesn't matter." Regulus leaned in and kissed him. Severus had never kissed anyone before, and he didn't have time to think or wonder why his first kiss was with the student he occasionally tutored and studied with. He knew only that Regulus tasted of the too rich and too bitter champagne they had just drank. His lips weren't as soft as he expected them to be, but Severus enjoyed the feeling of kissing to mind it.</p><p>Their bodies swayed to their own rhythm, bumping and grinding. Needy bodies met and parted.</p><p>He didn't know for how long they kissed while under the cover of darkness, but when they parted, they were both out of breath.</p><p>"Not bad, Severus. Not bad," Regulus noted breathlessly. He reached into his dress robes and produced a Gringott's bank note. 300 Galleons, as promised. He handed it to Severus and walked back into the party.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>찬란한 빛을 향해 걸어<br/>I’m walking toward that bright light<br/>나를 가둘 듯한 미로<br/>In this maze that has trapped me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They never talked about what Snape had said to him. They never talked about why Harry never found a new tutor. Snape simply made good on his word. The day after he returned from the Solstice Ball, he was already prepared to tutor him.</p><p>If only he chose a better time than six in the bloody morning to start the tutoring session. Harry had pulled too many all-nighters through the previous weeks to complete the finals he had as a sixth year on top of the ones he had as a remedial transfer student. He was exhausted.</p><p>Snape didn't seem to relent, however, as he slammed a pile of Arithmancy books over his quilt and right into his stomach.</p><p>"Wake. Up!" Snape demanded.</p><p>Harry groaned, doubling over in pain from the weight of the books on his body. "No," he whined. "Please."</p><p>"Early to rise--"</p><p>"You're going to kill me," he groaned.</p><p>"At least I can ensure you'll learn before you die," Snape teased darkly.</p><p>Harry flopped in his bed, spreading his arms and legs out, snoring obnoxiously loud.</p><p>"One more minute in bed, and I'm charging double," Snape announced.</p><p>Harry's eyes shot open, and he jumped out of bed. He brought only so many Galleons with him. He hadn't expected to stay as long as he did. And he couldn't afford to lose so much to a single study session. And it seemed he needed more sessions to earn Snape's trust.</p><p>"I'm up! I'll shower and meet you upstairs," he mumbled, energy draining from his voice with each syllable. He grabbed his towel and a fresh set of clothes and shuffled to the bathroom.</p><p>Harry had made the calculation. The only way to definitively ensure that he was successful in preventing Snape from joining the Death Eaters would be to stay until his first birthday. July 1981. It wouldn't be Snape who overheard Trelawney making that prophecy, and he wouldn't be the one who relayed the information the Voldemort. Time should shift to fill that role with someone else. It didn't matter who. Just someone else. If he could do that, Snape would have an easier life. He may still be attacked in the Shrieking Shack, but at the very least, up until that point, Harry could make things easier for him. However, whether Harry had enough Galleons to last until then was another question entirely.</p><p>He'd have to find a job after graduation to live, which meant he had to actually put effort into passing these courses. Harry conceded that there were definitely perks that came with being the Chosen One.</p>
<p></p><div>
<p></p><div><hr/></div></div><p>Christmas Eve crossed to Christmas Day at midnight.</p><p>"Happy Christmas, Snape."</p><p>"Happy Christmas, Green."</p><p>In his pajamas, Harry was sat in bed, reading. Snape was sat in his bed, writing something. He and Snape were the only male students in their year to stay for the holidays. They had both stayed up to this point to wish each other a happy Christmas.</p><p>"I didn't have time to get a present for you," Harry muttered.</p><p>"I had no intention of getting you a present either," Snape countered, not looking up from his parchment.</p><p>"But I want to show you something."</p><p>Snape looked up and quirked his brow. Harry grinned when he finally got Snape's attention. He sat down his book and stood in the middle of the dormitory. He pulled out his wand and closed his eyes, focusing on a power and happy memory. It took him a moment to find one. The war had taken so much from him. In his meditation, he realized that this was the first time he had thought of the war again since the first few days of his arrival. He hadn't so much a nightmare. Settling on the memory of catching his first Snitch, he inhaled deeply, letting the memory flood his body from head to toe.</p><p>Harry swung his wand around him. "<em>Expecto Patronum</em>!"</p><p>Out burst a bright stag that galloped around the dormitory, jumping over Snape's bed and through the boy. It hopped back to Harry and then disappeared.</p><p>Snape stared at Harry, his face blank and neutral.</p><p>"Um, that was a Patronus," Harry attempted, pointing in the vague area where the Patronus had disappeared.</p><p>Snape said nothing and simply stared.</p><p>"It's a thing you can conjure when you're facing a Dementor," he continued, feeling increasingly awkward and intimidated by the silence.</p><p>"I know what a Patronus is!" Snape hissed, swinging his long legs over his bed and standing up. "How the hell did <em>you</em> summon one!"</p><p>Laughing, Harry pointed at the area again. "Like that! Just think of a really strong and powerful happy memory and say the spell. Wanna learn?"</p><p>"I have no Galleons to give for your lesson," Snape retorted.</p><p>"Consider it a Christmas special," Harry answered, positioning himself next to Snape so they could attempt to cast it at the same time.</p><p>Severus Snape was gifted in many things. Hexes, potions, herbology, charms. He knew enough basic arithmancy and history to pass for knowledgeable. But on the subject of emotions, he was sorely lacking. After an hour of attempting the Patronus and barely producing wisps, he was frustrated, exhausted, and unmotivated. He sat down on his bed and sighed. "It's not working," he complained.</p><p>"I couldn't get it the first time either," Harry explained. "I could only make a barrier, like a cone." He gestured in the air, drawing a cone shape that resembled the barrier he produced.</p><p>"At least you have a cone. I have silver smoke!" Snape lamented, throwing his hands up in defeat.</p><p>Harry couldn't help but smile. This was not his Snape, not the Snape who worked diligently and quietly in the dungeons until he smelled of the potion the day after at breakfast. Not the Snape who would suffer through class after class of dunderheads with sharp quips and harsh wit. This was the boy before he became the man. He walked over to Snape's bed and leaned against the tall column. Snape flopped back onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. </p><p>"What's the memory you're thinking of?" Harry asked, looking down at his grumpy student. They were both getting tired. A quick <em>Tempus</em> told Harry that it was half past one in the morning.</p><p>"The first time I got a perfect score on my Potions exam," Snape answered. But even as he said it out loud and felt nothing but brief elation, he knew it wasn't the right memory. Harry's disappointed face seemed to confirm it. "What if you don't have a memory powerful enough?"</p><p>Harry pressed his lips together and remembered what he had told Lupin those many years ago. "It doesn't have to be a memory really. It could be something you really want that you imagined had happened," he explained. "That was how I got my cone."</p><p>Snape looked up at the surprisingly wise boy. "A fantasy then," he concluded. He laid there for a moment, considering the memory he was about to try. Had he gone further with Regulus that night, would they have worked out? But the more he thought of it, another more confusing thought came to mind. Did he like men? Lily's bright green eyes flashed through his mind, and he wondered if they were hers or if they belonged to Harry.</p><p>He swung his legs and stood up suddenly, and Harry sensed a renewed sense of determination from him.</p><p>"I'm going to try again," Snape announced, taking a deep breath. He closed his eyes and let the feeling of Regulus's lips brushing against him wash over him. He imagined pushing his fingers into Regulus's hair -- why hadn't he done that? -- and Regulus clutching into his robes. "<em>Expecto Patronum</em>," he uttered, keeping his eyes closed to keep the fantasy intact.</p><p>Bright silver wisps emitted from his wand, slowly taking form of a cone, and Harry gasped, smiling brightly. "Snape!" he whispered. "You're doing it!"</p><p>But as soon as Snape opened his eyes, the fantasy ceased and the cone disappeared. Harry groaned. "It was there. You did it!"</p><p>"One more time," Snape answered, not finished. He closed his eyes again and centered himself. He recalled the time he came out of the infirmary and found Harry running around the castle looking for him. The worry and concern on his face. The feeling of joy when he saw him. The brightness behind his eyes. Snape's lips twitched, curling into a small smile. He could feel the warmth worming into his chest and growing. "<em>Expecto Patronum!</em>" The force of the warmth moving through his chest and into his arms elicited a gasp from Snape, and his eyes flew open. A large white-silver shield formed from the tip of his wand, producing more energy than he had ever seen. "Harry," he breathed.</p><p>Harry's eyes went round, realizing this was the first time he had called him by his first name. "You're doing it, Severus!" he commended, quickly recovering.</p><p>Severus fell back in the bed when the magic ceased, and he had a confused smile on his face.</p><p>"Yeah, it feels like that after the first time," Harry addressed the quiet joy in the room. "Just sleep it off." He patted Severus's bed and walked away.</p><p>"Good night, Severus."</p><p>"Good night, Harry."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="colour">"<em>However, Muggles have a knack for bringing up the right questions about the nature of traveling through time. One such paradox is called the Bootstrap Paradox. As defined by Muggle theory, it is a paradox that occurs when a piece of information is sent back in time and is trapped in an infinite cause-effect loop with no discernible point of origin. That is to say, it is unclear from which origin a piece of information began. It is self-created and defies both Muggle physical theory and Wizarding alchemic principles. No energy can be destroyed nor created.</em></span>
</p><p><span class="colour"> <em>Take, for example, Beethoven's 5th Symphony. Suppose you are a fan of Beethoven's music and have his entire collection on a vinyl record. With a Time Turner, you return back in time in hopes of getting his signature. You search in his hometown; you seek out his family, but no one has ever heard of Ludwig van Beethoven nor his music. There is no one to sign your vinyl record. </em> </span> <span class="colour"> <em>As the time nears for his first composition to be released, you realize he is nowhere to be found. And so you write the music. You compose the songs and release them. You give them story and history. You, in effect, become Ludwig van Beethoven.</em> </span> <span class="colour"><br/></span></p><p>
  <span class="colour"> <em>Who or what, then, created the music?"</em> </span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>
    <span class="ILfuVd"> <span class="hgKElc">July 6th, 1976</span> </span>
  </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>
    <span class="ILfuVd"> <span class="hgKElc">Dear Severus,<br/></span> </span>
  </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>
    <span class="ILfuVd"> <span class="hgKElc">I hope this letter finds you well. You did say I can write you, even if you didn't normally get letters over the summer.</span> </span>
  </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>
    <span class="ILfuVd"> <span class="hgKElc">I didn't get to properly say thank you to you. You helped me more than you know in my first year at Hogwarts, so thank you. </span> </span>
  </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>It's hard to believe that we're already in our last year. I'm still getting used to the castle.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Hopefully, now that I get to stay here over the summer, I'll find new places for us to explore. What plans do you have for the summer?</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Sincerely,</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Harry Green</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>July 9th, 1976</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Harry,</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>There is no need to be so sentimental. You paid me to ensure you passed your classes, and I did my job. Congratulations on your O in Potions. I did little to contribute to that. It was well-earned. I will remember all the brewing advice you gave me.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>I will be staying with my parents in Cokeworth. Occasionally, Regulus summons me to the Black House to help him get a head start on his studies, though that happens around the last week of August. He pays well, and the Blacks -- with the exception of Sirius -- are kind to me. Luckily, Sirius has been spending his summers with the Potters.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>The month and half will give me time to explore career options for after graduation, and I suggest you do the same. Given that you have nowhere to stay during the summer, I can only assume that you do not have a home to return to and that your family's inheritance would not be enough to support you. It is not a point of criticism; my family is not wealthy either.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>I must find a job after graduation, so I will be doing that during the summer.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Severus</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>July 15th, 1976</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Dear Severus,</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>There are nicer ways to say all that, you know. But you have a point. I should look for a job. I've spent way too much money on my tutor.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>What are you thinking of? You're amazing at Potions. You can do all sorts of things. I found a book of careers that can come from potion-making: hospital healer, vendor, instructor, research.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>It's a good thing that there isn't a Patronus maker, huh? You'd be shit at that.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Ha ha ha!</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Sincerely,</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Harry Green</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>July 16th, 1976</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Harry,</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>I'll have you know I have been practicing since we've been let out for term. It is a fox. So you can retract your 'ha ha ha.'</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
  <p>Severus</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>July 19, 1976</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Dear Severus,</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>I think I want to be a baker. What do you think? Would I make a good cook?</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>I submit my humble treacle tart for your royal consideration. The elves were kind enough to let me use the kitchen.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>But you haven't answered my question. What career are you thinking of?</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Sincerely,</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Harry Green</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>July 22, 1976</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Harry,</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Edible. How are you annoying even in a letter? No wonder you had a Hatstall. You would have made a great Gryffindor too.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>As for careers, I have a few options. I have a strong feeling one is already secured for me, but I'm not clear what the job entails. I know only that it pays and trains well.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Research is interesting, but it requires Mastery, and that's another two years of study that my family cannot afford. Hogwarts is the only boarding school that provides scholarship; no Mastery schools provide that level of support. Had I the money, I would pursue this route. Maybe I can work a few years for the former job, save up, and enroll into a Mastery program.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Whichever option I choose, I want to make enough to leave Spinner's End with my mother.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Please tell me you're not seriously considering baking because my treacle tart puts yours to shame. You best eat it all. My poor owl suffered the heat and the alluring aroma of the tart to deliver it to you.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Severus</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <hr/>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Harry smelled the letter before he saw it as a large old brown owl glided down to him in the Courtyard. He looked forward to Severus's letters. They made living alone in a giant castle all the more bearable. At the least, they moved him to one of the guestrooms, so he didn't have to be alone in the dungeons. He realized that a lot more dignitaries came around Hogwarts during the summer. Dumbledore and his politicking, he assumed.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>The Slytherin thanked the owl and untied the small package from his leg. The parchment-wrapped package smelled of treacle tart, his favorite. He quickly opened the letter and read it. Harry's smile fell as he finished the letter. Severus wanted to leave Spinner's End with his mother. He made no mention of his father, so he cared deeply for his mother. A sobering chill ran through his body as the pieces clicked into place in his mind. The tutoring sessions, the Galleons, the exchanges -- Severus had done it for his family. Harry knew how his home in Spinner's End looked. Small, cramped, and old. It barely fit the lifestyle of one grown adult, let alone three. And when Harry had gone to visit, no one lived in it. There were no pictures of Tobias or Eileen. The place was decorated by books. And only the older Snape had lived there.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>"Fuck," he whispered, feeling his throat tighten as the realization dawned on him.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Snape never made enough money for them to escape. His face became hot, and he brought his knees to his chest. Even after becoming a Death Eater, even though it promised to pay well, he couldn't help his family leave.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>What was Harry doing here? He couldn't change his family's circumstances! Why was he crying so fucking uselessly?</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Harry sobbed into his knees.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Stupid. He was so stupid. How could he have not seen it sooner?</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>The owl beside him hooted expectantly. Harry wiped his eyes and sniffled, gathering himself. "Sorry. You must be hungry," he breathed. Despite his situation, Severus managed to make a treacle tart in his kitchen for Harry. And Harry found himself missing him even more. Sitting back up, he carefully laid out the package in the grass and opened it. And there it was. A perfect quarter slice of a golden treacle tart with perfect lattices on the top. He peeled off a corner and fed it to the owl, who ate it all too eagerly.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Tears rolling down his cheek, Harry took a bite.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>He remembered his first ever bite of the tart. His first day of Hogwarts. He remembered Snape's dark eyes. He thought of his Severus's dark eyes.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <hr/>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>July 22, 1976</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Dearest Severus,</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>It's delicious! <em>You</em> should be a baker. I gave some tart to your owl. Don't worry. He liked it too.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Have I ever told you I loved you? Because I do. I love you lots.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>I love you so much until the end of time. And I can't contain it anymore. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>I'm thinking of you always. I think you'd be great at any job you put your mind to because you're the smartest person I know. I'm thinking of you even now.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Eagerly awaiting your letters.</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Love,</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p>Harry Green</p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="LGOjhe">
  <hr/>
  <p>Tears rolling down his cheek, Severus laughed so hard he doubled over, heaving for air. His stomach hurt. Several undignified snorts came from his body, but he didn't care. No one in his family could hear. He had them all on a permanent <em>Muffliato</em> spell.</p>
  <p>Severus sounded like he was dying as he laughed. Oh, Merlin, when had he ever laughed so hard! That should teach him to be so trusting of foods arriving by owl!</p>
  <p>On his desk sat the Amortentia potion that he had won from Slughorn the first time he set up competition about the Strengthening Potion. He only used a quarter of it in the batter, but it seemed to be more than effective.</p>
  <p>He didn't know how long it took for him to recover from laughing, but he was still giggling as he finished up his summer assignments that night. As he came down from his high, he looked at the letter again. Severus shook his head at the overly affectionate words. There was no way Harry could ever say these things to him. Despite himself, he cast a preserving charm on the letter and put it inside his bedside drawer before locking it again.</p>
  <hr/>
  <p>July 23, 1976</p>
  <p>Bastard Severus,</p>
  <p>YOU ARE SUCH A BASTARD!</p>
  <p>Harry</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>그럴 때마다 난 너를 기억해<br/>Each time, I think of you<br/>내 꿈을 잊지 않게 해줘<br/>Please don’t let me forget my dream</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You've not asked for any tutoring this year," Severus noted. It was well after the start of term, and Regulus normally asked for help within the first month of class. It was nearing the end of November, and he'd not once asked for a tutor. Severus's income suffered for it.</p><p>"It's your last year. I should figure out how to stand on my own two feet," Regulus answered, not looking up from his essay writing. Harry looked between the two and decided to mind his own business. Interrupting this sort of thing always set Severus off, so he learned to stay quiet. In fact, he looked back down at his career and business book so quickly that he hoped the other two hadn't noticed.</p><p>Severus noticed, and Harry's poorly veiled politeness only made the situation more awkward. </p><p>"And how's that working out?" he continued.</p><p>Regulus fished into his book bag and produced a rolled up parchment, handing it over. When Severus unfurled it, at the top bore an 'Acceptable' mark.</p><p>"'Acceptable' is not passable in the family, but it'll have to do for now," Regulus remarked, shrugging. "Not like I'm applying to the Ministry or anything."</p><p>Severus looked at Regulus with an expression Harry couldn't read, but the older boy rolled up the parchment and handed it back. Severus stood up to look for another book.</p><p>"What do you think you're going to do for work?" Harry wondered aloud after a moment.</p><p>Regulus quirked a brow, seeming confused as he looked at Harry. "You don't know?" He looked around him, making sure the <em>Muffliato</em> charm was still around them. "Same as Sev. Death Eater. If I get him in, he'll be able to get me in."</p><p>It was said so casually, so calmly that Harry could only nod absently.</p>
<hr/><p>"Did you get an invitation this year?" Regulus asked.</p><p>"I did," Severus answered, taking a sip of his soup. It was rare for their schedules to intersect for lunch, but Regulus seemed to have made time for this.</p><p>"We can still go together," he offered, taking a sip of his own soup but not looking up from his paper.</p><p>"I have someone else in mind to bring."</p><p>Regulus looked over his paper at Severus. "Malfoy is going to recruit you at the party. You want to risk it by bringing someone else?"</p><p>"I'm not risking anything," Severus answered firmly, meeting the other's gaze.</p>
<hr/><p>It was another late night for Harry. It wasn't quite yet finals, but he was running out of time for other reasons. Severus was going to be a Death Eater. Regulus was somehow going to get him in.</p><p>He never had the endurance like Hermione or Severus had for studying for as long as they did. He always fell asleep. It was only due to the motivation he had this time around that he managed to stay in the library for as long as he had. The Invisibility Cloak came in handy for getting back to the dormitory without being caught. Compared to his first time as a student at Hogwarts, Harry was practically a model student. Zero detentions. Hermione would've been proud.</p><p>Harry sighed as he stepped through the Common Room threshold, pocketing his cloak as he walked in. This must have been the sort of studying Fred and George had to do when they first started, but they seemed to always had a knack for buying and selling things.</p><p>"You're out late."</p><p>Harry jumped out his skin and stumbled back. He didn't yelp this time, but he nearly did. His heart didn't calm even when he found Severus sitting in the middle of the Common Room. The rogue green lights softened his features in the night.</p><p>"You're up too," he noted, standing up straighter.</p><p>Severus smirked at that and reached into his robe, producing an envelope in the same way Regulus had produced it the year before.</p><p>'Attractive' wasn't the right word to describe Severus when he looked so confident. </p><p>"What's that?" Harry asked.</p><p>"An invitation to the Malfoy Winter Solstice Ball. The one I went to last year," Severus answered.</p><p>Harry remembered how beautiful Severus had looked in his dress robes. The way the robes lined his body. "And?" Harry asked expectantly, suppressing the hopefulness he felt that Severus might ask him to be his date.</p><p>Severus stared at him for a moment, recognizing how similar Harry's answer was to his own response to Regulus. But behind his words was optimism, not the skepticism Severus himself had. "And I'd like you to come with me."</p><p>"I'd love to go with you." The moment passed in a beat, and Harry collected himself, realizing how much he had just given away. "I'm a shit dancer, so I look forward to embarrassing you," he recovered awkwardly.</p><p>"How could you do anything else? It's a skill that comes so naturally to you," Severus quipped back, smiling. "At least take a shower. Malfoy wouldn't like it if you smelled the way you did."</p><p>"I don't smell! I shower everyday!" Harry protested, picking up a cushion and tossing it at Severus. He caught the cushion and brought it to his lap with ease.</p><p>"Really? Do tell me more of your fascinating cleaning rituals."</p><p>"You are such a bastard," Harry muttered, rolling his eyes but smiling all the same.</p>
<hr/><p>On the afternoon of December the 21st, Harry found himself waiting outside the Hogwarts gate. He was draped in a velvet dark green robe that was cut to have elements of a Muggle trenchcoat and a wizarding robe. Underneath, he wore a white button-down and tight black trousers. His outfit made him look older than he appeared, but given that he was two years older than his peers, it seemed to make sense that he did.</p><p>"You clean up well," Severus remarked from behind him. Harry turned and smiled when he saw him in his dress robes. Merlin, he looked stunning. High collars simply worked for Severus's body. It's not a wonder why he kept the look well into his teaching career.</p><p>"So do you," Harry commended.</p><p>Severus reached forward to feel the texture of velvet in his robes. "Green suits you."</p><p>"Green House. Green last name. Green robes. Seemed like it made sense," Harry answered, not minding at all that they were standing so close.</p><p>The smile that Severus flashed Harry would ingrain into his memories forever.</p><p>Harry and Severus walked into Hogsmeade and used the fireplace in Hog's Head to Floo into the Malfoy Manor. Traveling by Floo was always inelegant and dirty, but when Harry arrived, all the soot and dust had vanished from him as if the Manor had a charm to rid dirt from anyone who came by Floo. The party was already in full swing. Harry recognized quite a few people.</p><p>A young Igor Karkaroff was milling among other Durmstrang students. He looked no older than himself. Alecto Carrow was laughing too loudly in a crowd that seemed entranced by her stupid jokes. Harry wanted to hex the smile from her evil face. In the crowd that had surrounded her was Bellatrix Lestrange. She appeared to mix well among polite company -- more contained and reserved. Her hair was combed back the way that Narcissa Malfoy had styled her hair. The only way Harry recognized her was from her eyes -- the wild, unrestrained energy was still there. A few years in Azkaban, and that energy could consume her entirely.</p><p>Severus placed a hand around his shoulder, and Harry snapped from his observations, following the taller Slytherin.</p><p>Harry followed Severus around the different crowds, and he played his part in hyping him up. He hated hyping Severus to the Lestranges the most. As they were talking, he saw Regulus arrive alone by Floo.</p><p>"Severus!" Lucius's voice was so grandiose and falsely charming that Harry would recognize it from anywhere. Smiling politely, Severus turned to him.</p><p>"It's good to see you again, Lucius. Thank you for inviting me."</p><p>Lucius winked at him. "I promised you, didn't I?" He looked over at the man beside him. "And... you are?"</p><p>"Harry. Harry Green," Harry answered flatly, unable to find the enthusiasm to greet the younger version of the man he loathed.</p><p>The blond looked down his nose at Harry and scoffed, as if incredulous that someone could regard him so rudely. "Welcome to the Manor, Green," Lucius answered with equal flatness. "Can we have a moment, Severus?" Lucius slipped an arm around Severus's back, separating him from Harry, and guided him out to the garden again.</p><p>Harry's heart dropped. Was this the moment? Was this how easily, how casually it had happened? Harry watched their retreating bodies. His blood boiled. His throat seized. Was this how Severus became a Death Eater? Was this how the Darkness lured him in? In this bright and symphonous party? He clenched and unclenched his hands. Severus was a cruel and idiotic prick. He liked the Dark Arts as much he loved Potions. But Harry had not once seen Darkness in him. No. He wasn't Dark at all.</p><p>'<em>Whichever option I choose, I want to make enough to leave Spinner's End with my mother.</em>'</p><p>Harry couldn't let this happen. Severus invited him for a reason. There was a reason he was here. There must have been.</p><p>Please let there be a reason.</p><p>Harry wasn't the praying sort, but, in this moment, he prayed to whoever governed Time to give him at least this: Let there be a reason. Let him know what to do.</p><p>His feet were compelled forward. He walked through the large hall, weaving quickly through crowds, to find Severus.</p><p>Please.</p><p><em>Please</em>!</p><p>A hand shot out and gripped Harry's shoulder, pulling him roughly into a small empty room before he could reach the garden.</p><p>Harry whirled around to find Regulus glaring at him. "What the hell do you think you're doing!" Regulus barked.</p><p>"Going -- going to the garden," Harry stammered breathily, blinking away the tears he didn't realize had formed.</p><p>"You were going to stop him," the younger Slytherin accused, gripping his hand into his robe.</p><p>Harry felt something snap inside him, and he winced. "There's another way to get what he wants!" he growled. Anger bubbling over, Regulus lifted him by his robes and slammed him against a wall. His head made a loud crack when it met the brick wall, and he groaned.</p><p>"What the hell do you know what he wants!" Regulus hissed darkly. "What the hell do you even know about him! Don't fucking ruin what we've been working on for <em>years</em>. Stay out of it!"</p><p>"Get off me!" Harry groaned.</p><p>"No! Not until he brings him to the Dark Lord!" Regulus wrestled against the struggling body, pressing him against the wall with his elbow.</p><p>Harry kicked wildly, trying to find a way to shift his weight around. "Why are you using him like this!" he cried, fear spiking in his body. He needed to get to Severus. He needed to stop him.</p><p>"<em>Use </em>him? You think I'm <em>using</em> him? You're such a fucking idiot I don't know why the Sorting Hat ever put you in Slytherin!" Regulus shouted. There was that recognizable wildness behind his eyes. Harry recognized that to be the signature craziness that befell any Black family member who tampered with the Dark. He realized in that moment that Regulus was so reserved was because he had to keep this beast inside him. "He's <em>mine</em>. And he'll always be <em>mine</em>. You are but a blip in his life! He'll forget you once he's done with you!"</p><p>With one last heave, Harry slammed to the ground, bringing Regulus down with him. But it was the younger Slytherin who recovered faster, and he landed a harsh punch across his face. Harry's glasses fell off his face. "Stay <em>away</em> from Severus. He belongs to me." Another punch, and he tasted blood. Harry's vision swam. When Regulus lifted off him, he gasped for air. It tasted metallic, and he was certain his nose was broken. Severus's rasping voice echoed in his mind. "<em>Look. At. Me.</em>"</p><p>Regulus pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the blood from his fist, flexing his fingers.</p><p>"<em>Immobulus</em>!"</p><p>The force of the spell knocked Regulus off his feet, and he fell into a couch. Harry pushed to his feet and pulled on his glasses, studying the result of his spell. "You don't own him. You don't know him at all," he breathed, looking down at Regulus. "You'd know if you loved him."</p><p>"And you think you do?" Regulus hissed, unable to fully mouth the syllables in his immobolized state.</p><p>"No, I know I do," Harry answered firmly, leaving the room and slamming it shut. </p><p>His leg hurt, and he could barely see in front of him. He prayed again to whatever entity governed Time that Severus hadn't left yet.</p><p>Please be there.</p><p>
  <em>Please.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>내 꿈을 잊지 않게 해줘<br/>Please don’t let me forget my dream<br/>별이 쏟아지는 곳에<br/>At that place with the spilling stars<br/>우린 결국 함께 한다고<br/>We will be together in the end</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The story passed 100 kudos! My gosh, thank you so much! &lt;3 This is my first fanfic that I've been able to get this far on. Thank you. Thank you!<br/>Earlier, I thought I would finish this in 20 chapters. I seem to be off a few chapters. Hope that's good news to you!</p><p>I notice other writers doing this, so I want to add that this is un-beta'd. All typos and errors are my own.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Severus!"</p><p>With great effort, Harry heaved open the garden doors. His eyes found the floating yellow lights that lit up the garden. His eyes followed them until they found two figures standing beside a high table.</p><p>Severus looked up immediately. A flash of concern and worry crossed his face -- only for it to immediately fade to practiced calm. Three things came to mind immediately:</p><p>One. Harry was injured.</p><p>Two. Lucius had just offered him to get the Dark Mark tonight if he were ready.</p><p>Three. He was not ready.</p><p>"I'm sorry. Excuse me. Please go back to the party. I'll come find you," he muttered, walking to Harry. He was at once elated that there was a distraction but worried that the distraction was a very bloody Harry.</p><p>Lucius watched Severus move away, his sharp eyes missing nothing. Taking his cue, he retreated back to the party.</p><p>"Harry," Severus whispered, drawing out his wand to mend the cuts on his left cheek. "What the hell happened to you?"</p><p>"Don't do it," Harry breathed urgently, reaching up to grip his wand-holding hand. "Don't do it, Severus. Please. Don't join Him. Please." His last word came out small and quiet as tears beaded at the corners of his eyes.</p><p>Severus clenched his jaw, narrowing his eyes on Harry. He couldn't stand how sad they looked. He couldn't bear that those tears might be for him. "Don't tell me what to do," he answered, though there was no bite in his voice.</p><p>"You don't need to do it," Harry cried, and it broke something in Severus to feel his hand clutch so tightly to his own.</p><p>What the hell did Harry know? What the hell did someone with inheritance know? How could he possibly know when he threw money around without a care in the world! This year alone, Severus made more from Harry than any other client. But it still wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for <em>anything</em>. Severus pulled his hand away, and Harry reached out, catching it again. </p><p>"I <em>have</em> to do this, Harry. I need to--"</p><p>"You need to get your mother out of Spinner's End. I know you do," Harry finished, and Severus seemed surprised he had remembered. Harry straightened up, but the motion made him dizzier. He blinked and shook his head. "I have a plan," he began, his words slurring.</p><p>Severus caught him, holding his shoulder firmly with his other hand. "Harry, stop. You need a healer."</p><p>Harry shook his head and reached into his robes, pulling out folded parchment. It had clearly been folded and unfolded many times. He pressed the paper to Severus's chest.</p><p>The world began to spin. Severus looked like he was about to topple over. The yellow glowing lights danced in long streaks until Harry saw black.</p><p>"Harry!"</p><hr/><p>The next time he awoke, Harry found himself in his dormitory. He was no longer in his robes but in his pajamas. When he tried to open his eyes, his left eye was swollen shut, and he could barely see through it. Harry groaned, feeling sore and weak in his whole body, and he reached over to his bedside table for his glasses. He didn't remember putting it there, but it happened to be exactly where he would leave it when he fell asleep. It was dark, so it must have been evening. How did he even get back?</p><p>"You're at least a man of your word," Severus drawled, and Harry flinched, not realizing there was another person in the dormitory with him.</p><p>He didn't answer immediately. Instead, he slowly pushed himself to sitting and put on his glasses. "What d'you mean?" he asked, looking over at Severus. He was still in his dress robes.</p><p>"You said you would embarrass me at the Ball, and you did," the other answered, not looking up from some parchment. He scribbled something and lifted his quill again.</p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>Severus looked up and quirked a brow. "You don't remember getting bloodied up, interrupting my meeting with Lucius Malfoy, babbling something about how I didn't need to be a Death Eater, and shoving a half-finished business plan at me?"</p><p>Harry groaned inwardly and reached up to scratch his head, quickly finding a bandage that wrapped around his whole head. "I'll finish it. I promise. I just need a bit more time."</p><p>"Stop touching your bandages. They'll heal that much slower," Severus chided. He charmed the parchment and floated it across the room to Harry. "It's not a bad plan."</p><p>The paper landed in his lap, and he read the additions and corrections Severus had made. Some of the prices for the potions he thought about were marked up; a few were marked down. The operations cost was modified to include rent of a lab, which changed the profit projections down the line.</p><p>"If we started this year, we could probably get by without a lab and just use whatever Slughorn provides us. We'd have a secure a supplier for the ingredients, but maybe Slughorn can help with that too," Severus continued. "I imagine we'd make enough to afford a year's rent in a small shop in Knockturn Alley by the time we graduate. Not the best location, but it's not like Diagon Alley has any decent potions shops."</p><p>Harry stared at other.</p><p>'We?' 'By the time we graduate?' '<em>We</em>?'</p><p>"You'd do it?" he whispered.</p><p>"Speak up, Green. No business owner should speak so weakly."</p><p>Harry threw off his covers, knocking the parchment off the bed, and jumped into Severus's bed. His body ached and protested every move he made. Ignoring the pain altogether, Harry threw his arms around Severus, pulling him into a tight hug.</p><p>"Get off me, Green!" Severus pretended to struggle against the bind before finally allowing the other to settle awkardly against him, half on top of him, half on the bed. Eventually, he wrapped his arms around Harry's back, returning his embrace.</p><p>He'd done it. He'd actually done it. He prevented him from becoming a Death Eater. Harry had saved him.</p><p>Oh, gods. Thank the gods that governed Time.</p><p>"Thank you," Harry whispered.</p><p>"One day, you're going to tell me what goes through that head of yours," Severus muttered.</p><hr/><p>If there was any awkwardness about falling asleep in each other's arms, they were not going to talk about it. Besides, Severus had been the first one to wake up, and he left Harry in bed to rest longer while he showered.</p><p>Gay relationships were not a problem because they did not exist. There was not a persecution against them like there was in Muggle society, but that didn't mean they weren't frowned upon. Regulus knew as much, and so did he. What happened at school stayed in school. It was a time of experimentation; mistakes were allowed.</p><p>It didn't stop Severus from addressing the hardness between his legs. He hadn't woken up hard like this since he was a third-year. Fisting himself, he pumped himself quickly, coming in thick white spurts. He refused to admit that he had thought of Harry.</p><p>When he returned to his bed, Harry was still asleep. His eye was less swollen, and the cuts had all closed. He leaned over and carefully pulled away his glasses from his face, folding it neatly and setting on his bedside table in the way that he knew Harry liked it. He spent a few minutes cleaning up Harry's bed and picked up the business plan that had fallen off the bed before walking to the Great Hall to bring them both their breakfasts.</p><p>As he walked through the empty castle halls -- it seemed more students went home for the holidays this year -- he recalled the events of last night.</p><p>
  <em>"Harry! Harry!" Severus hissed urgently, panic rising in his chest. What the hell had happened to him?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When Harry fell limp in his arms, Severus lifted him with a wandless and wordless 'Levicorpus', carrying his lightened body back into the Manor in his arms. He made sure to keep the parchment safe in his pocket. As he walked through the corridor, Regulus burst out through a side door, appearing bewildered and angry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Severus, you're still here," Regulus breathed, seeming to calm immediately at the sight of him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Harry's hurt. I need to bring him back." Severus walked forward again, but Regulus stopped him with a firm hand on his arm. But as soon as it came, the hand relented. Severus looked at him again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why him?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Never mind. Go."</em>
</p><p>Why him? </p><p>Why him indeed.</p><p>Severus collected two plates of food: bacon, eggs, and toast. On Harry's plate, he added a slice of treacle tart.</p><p>Why him?</p><p>
  <em>Severus wished he could fly. Running was too slow, and his dress shoes dragged in the December snow. The trek back to Hogwarts was much too slow. Harry's unconscious body collected the drifting snow that fell.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Madame Pomfrey!" he shouted into the castle as soon as he crossed inside. He was nowhere near the infirmary, but he prayed anyone would hear him. Pray? When was he a praying man? "Madame Pomfrey!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was out of breath, and his lungs burned. He could feel the warm thick liquid dripping from behind Harry's head. "Madame Pomfrey!" he cried, his voice shaking. Hearing his voice sound like that frightened him even more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Severus knelt down, carefully resting Harry against his leg. His vision blurred with tears as he brought out his wand. He adjusted Harry so that he held him by his chest, revealing the back of his head to him. The back of his hair was matted with blood, and there was more oozing down his neck. His hand shaking, he pointed his wand at his head. This spell only worked in theory. He hadn't tested it. Gods, please.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Vulnera Sanentur," he muttered, singing the spell. With each syllable, his voice became more firm, determined to channel his magic to mending Harry's injury.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When Madame Pomfrey found him, she gasped and hurried to his side. "What happened!" she asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't know. Someone hurt him. Please help him!" Severus gasped, desperate to keep calm.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come with me. I've got him." Madame Pomfrey summoned a stretcher and floated Harry quickly down the corridors. Severus ran after her. Once they were in the infirmary, another healer joined Pomfrey and administered emergency healing spells while he waited at the side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It took a few hours for them to assess that there would be no permanent damage and another two hours to address the damage that had been done. A hairline fracture in his skull from blunt trauma. It would be mended with some potions, which Madame Pomfrey charged Severus to administer on a daily basis. "You are in his class, are you not?" was her only reason.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When he was discharged, it was already two in the morning. And Severus floated him back to their dormitory, undressed him from his dress robes, and placed him to bed in his pajamas. He made sure to take off his glasses and placed them where Harry normally kept his glasses.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He watched him for a few minutes, making sure he was breathing and sleeping well. He didn't need to -- the Sleeping Draught they had administered would have taken care of it, but he felt compelled to. When he sat down in his own bed, exhausted by the night's events, he heard the crunch of parchment in his pocket. He pulled out the paper and looked it over. In that moment, he realized why Harry had spent so many late nights in the library.</em>
</p><p>Severus concluded that Regulus was asking the wrong question. No, the question wasn't "Why Harry?" It was "Why Severus?" Why did the strange new student put so much effort into <em>him</em>?</p><p>When he returned to the dormitory, he found Harry had sat up in his bed, apparently confused as to how he got there. Severus did his very best to not smile.</p><p>"Morning," he drawled.</p><p>"Morning," Harry answered slowly. "I'm in your bed."</p><p>"Yes, you are." Severus set down one tray in Harry's lap, and he pulled up a chair to sit by Harry.</p><p>"Why am I in your bed?"</p><p>"Because you fell asleep in my bed," he answered matter-of-factly.</p><p>"And you didn't kick me off?"</p><p>"And risk fracturing your skull again? No."</p><p>Harry pursed his lips and stared off into space, nodding once as if his explanation made all the sense in the world. "Okay. Then thank you."</p><p>"You're not welcome. You have your own bed," Severus answered, setting the tray in his own lap and starting on his breakfast.</p><p>"I have two beds now," Harry pointed out, grinning. He ate an entire strip of bacon in one bite. Severus glowered at him, disgusted.</p><p>"Who attacked you at the Ball?" </p><p>"Hm? Oh. Uh," Harry faltered, wondering whether he should protect Regulus. The other had acted the way that he did because he too had feelings for Severus. Slytherins never knew what to do with jealousy, it seemed.</p><p>"I already know. You might as well say it," Severus bluffed, staring at Harry imperiously. Legilimency was still a work in progress, but Harry held himself so openly. Surely, it would work with him even at low levels of mastery.</p><p>"He was just angry that I was going to interfere," Harry explained. "You two planned on being Death Eaters for years, and I was going to ruin it." Severus's hypothesis was right -- it would work with him even at low levels of mastery.</p><p>"But you did interfere," Severus pointed out.</p><p>"Yeah, I did. Because I couldn't let you give up your dream without a fight," Harry answered firmly. It came out so fluidly that it took Severus a moment to process it. "Being a Death Eater is a lifelong thing. You don't get out just because you made enough money. I get the feeling that you don't get to get out at all. Not without some severe consequence." A chill crossed Harry's body when he realized that Regulus would meet that fate. "I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't let Regulus convince you to do it. Not when there's something else we could do." It suddenly crossed Severus's mind that Regulus may have stopped paying him for his services so that he would have no choice but to become a Death Eater.</p><p>"Why are you doing this for me? I'm just your tutor."</p><p>Harry furrowed his brow. "Tutor? You're such a mean tutor. You think I pay you to be my tutor?"</p><p>"Then what do you pay me for?"</p><p>"To be my friend?" Harry countered quickly. Severus opened his mouth, ready to rebut the statement, but he continued talking. "A service I hope you can now offer for free that I'm starting a new business venture with my mean tutor."</p><p>The statement was so stupid that Severus could help but chuckle. He snorted and shook his head. "I would hit you if you weren't bandaged."</p><p>"No, you wouldn't," Harry quipped, smiling.</p><p>"You're right." Severus whacked him on the arm. Harry winced and cried. "I'd hit you regardless."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>너는 또 다른 나의 미래<br/>You are my future<br/>영원히 계속될 Love way<br/>A love way that will last forever<br/>너는 또 다른 나의 미래<br/>You are my future<br/>I’ll show you my love</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's just a wall," Severus pointed out flatly, staring at a tall slab of stone wall.</p><p>Harry sighed and moved Severus until he stood directly in front of the wall. "Yes, it's a wall <em>now</em>. Just close your eyes and think of everything you need in a potions lab. And I'll think of what I need to run the business side of things," he answered, exasperated.</p><p>Between his healing spells and the potions Madame Pomfrey had given him, Severus had managed to help Harry recover earlier than scheduled. And he should have expected that the Slytherin would have wanted to get started on their work the moment he was ready. What he didn't expect was for Harry to drag him up to the third floor to stare a blank wall.</p><p>"Why does <em>thinking </em>of what I need change the wall?" he muttered under his breath but closed his eyes anyway. Harry hooked his arm into Severus's and closed his own eyes. He would need new cauldrons, a closet of herbs, dried materials, and powdered stock. He would need flasks and vials. Lots of those. The rumbling and cracking of stone took Severus from his thoughts, and he opened his eyes to find an ornately carved door take the place of the blank wall.</p><p>Grinning, Harry let go of him and practically skipped to the door, flinging it open to reveal a fully stocked potions lab. It had tables for brewing, lines of new and clean cauldrons, multiple brewing stations, and a well-lit and well-ventilated preparation area. Harry's smile fell when he recognized the room for what it was. It looked exactly like the older Snape's private office.</p><p>"This is perfect," Severus muttered, stepping through. He ran his fingers along the cauldron and paced to the closet. It was well stocked from the top to bottom. "Is this real?"</p><p>"Uh, yeah," Harry answered, trying to collect himself. Saul Croaker's entry about the Bootstrap Paradox came to mind again. "It's all real. Uh, and, uh... It'll stay real even if you take it out." But how does the Bootstrap Paradox explain the Room of Requirement? Or the Mirror of Erised? How did magic know exactly what they needed and conjure what hadn't existed -- what couldn't exist -- into existence?</p><p>"Harry?" Severus asked, looking back when he noticed how distracted Harry seemed.</p><p>"Hm? Yeah?"</p><p>"I could live here."</p><p>Harry laughed, and Severus joined along. Severus's smile was strangely infectious. It might have been because he smiled so rarely, but his face lit up in a way that made Harry's stomach squirm.</p><p>"How did you learn about the Room of Requirement?" the excited Slytherin asked as he retreated into the closet again, pulling out the little drawers to find all sorts of ingredients.</p><p>"I got lost one day, and I ended up here until I saw a house elf come out of the wall," Harry explained, looking over the table he had imagined for himself. It was the table from which Severus had lectured him and Ron when they drove the Ford Anglia into the Whomping Willow. The required documentation for creating a business were in neat piles for Harry to fill out. "I just kind of stared at the wall until it opened again."</p><p>"I envy your simple mind," Severus quipped, walking out of the closet. Harry rolled his eyes and sat down at his desk, rifling through the papers. </p><p>"Happy Christmas to you too."</p>
<hr/><p>With the start of term, Harry spared no time promoting his potions business. He touted that he had the best potions master in all of Hogwarts, and that he was willing to make any sort of potion. It was technically the truth, if not true at this very moment.</p><p>When he returned to the Room of Requirement with first first two orders in tow, Harry hoped this would give Severus some hope. What he hadn't expected was to find the other Slytherin hunched in a corner, his head ducked down, hidden behind his drawn knees. There was a letter discarded to his side as if he had flung it away.</p><p>"Severus?"</p><p>No answer. No movement.</p><p>Harry slowly walked over and sat down by him, picking up the discarded letter.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>January 10th, 1978</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Severus,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Happy New Year and Happy Birthday, my son. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm afraid I have nothing happy to bring you. Your father left yesterday. He took his things and moved away. I do not know where, but I do not think I can find him even I tried. I don't even know if my name is on the deed to the house. His note specifically said to not seek him out. He claims that he no longer had responsibility to us now that you are of age.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was such a bitter man. I didn't have the strength to leave him, and I did nothing to make things easier for you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I imagine I only made things more difficult for you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am sorry, my son.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will see you at your graduation. Know I am proud of you. Do not worry about the money. I will find a job. In fact, here is a piece of happy news: I will be interviewing at St. Mungo's today.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With Love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eileen Prince</em>
</p><p>
  <em>PS - Please send my thoughts to Lily. I have not seen her since your third year. She was a lovely girl. I hope she is well.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Severus sobbed quietly. Harry wrapped an arm around him, leaning his head against his shoulder. He reached forward and entwined his fingers into Severus's. Neither pulled away.</p>
<hr/><p>"Stop accepting so many orders!" Severus barked over three boiling cauldrons.</p><p>"Stop brewing so slow!" Harry countered, stirring his own two potions.</p><p>"I don't brew slow. Brewing any faster would ruin the quality!"</p><p>Harry let out a loud frustrated groan and stirred a little more roughly.</p><p>Ever since they started, they had been brewing non-stop. It started with two orders a week and quickly ballooned to an order a day. He and Severus were barely keeping up with the demand, and the money flowed through much faster than expected. Whatever grief Severus felt for his father's leaving, he put into his brewing. The more money they could make, the sooner he could support his mother. It was the first of February, which meant every girl and their mother wanted an Amortentia potion. For Harry, it smelled of treacle tarts throughout the whole room. For Severus, it smelled of the potions lab and Harry, so not much had changed.</p><p>"Why do you smell so much! Do you really not take a shower!" Severus snapped, annoyed.</p><p>"I told you I take a shower every day."</p><p>"'I told you I take a shower every day,'" Severus mocked deliriously, his hair sticking out despite being tied back. That was low humor for Severus.</p><p>Harry growled and looked up to find Severus glaring back with a far away look in his eyes. Oh, no. He knew that look. Three Amortentia potions brewing and bubbling under Severus's nose with insufficient ventilation meant he was suffering from the fumes. "Oh, come here," Harry gestured, turning down his fires before moving over to Severus.</p><p>"No! You smell to high heavens!" he fired back.</p><p>"I do not! I took a shower today! You're smelling the love potions!" Harry countered, pulling Severus from the brewing stations and lowering the fires on them. He dragged him to the preparation area where there was more air circulation. A few deep breaths, and Severus seemed to calm. He sniffed the air. It smelled normal. Not at all like Harry's scent. A moment later, he turned a deep shade of red as the realization dawned on him. Amortentia took on different scents for different people. It smelled of love, or what that person thought love was.</p><p>"I--" he blurted.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"I don't--"</p><p>"Okay." </p><p>Harry patted him on the back and returned to his brewing station, turning up the heat again.</p>
<hr/><p>Regulus had stopped spending time with them. He never frequented the library nor did he sit with them during meals. He seemed to have found a new group of people to command. And the younger Slytherins all seemed too eager to follow someone from the Black family. They all hoped to ride his prestige to success.</p><p>Harry didn't mind as much as Severus did, who tried once to ask him why he fought Harry and what he meant at the Ball when he said 'why him.' Regulus answered him cryptically: "He's not worth your time." And then he walked away.</p><p>Over the next few months, they had made more than five thousand Galleons in profit. This was mostly due to the free rent and ingredients provided by the Room of Requirement. They both agreed to pilfer as much supply as they could possibly take before they left Hogwarts.</p><p>By April, Harry had signed a two-year lease for a shop that bordered between Knockturn Alley and Diagon Alley. They were due to start immediately after graduation. It was the closest location he could get to Diagon Alley while enjoying the benefits of low-priced rent in Knockturn Alley. There was even a backroom that was normally used as an employee breakroom. They both agreed it could be converted into a dormitory for the two of them to save on rent. The rest of the money, he put into Gringott's in an account under his and Severus's names. Severus commended him for his shrewd business acumen.</p><p>They both calculated that, after a year of operating, they would make enough for Severus to enroll into a Mastery program full-time without having to worry about his or his mother's finances.</p><p>When Severus wrote the letter to his mother letting her know of his updates, Harry had never seen him so proud.</p>
<hr/><p>On a rare night when Severus stayed later than Harry, he was unsurprised to find Regulus waiting for him in the Common Room. He was reading the newspaper again. On the back was the front page article about a dragon pox outbreak in Stoke-on-Trent, a small city in the Midlands. Worrisome, but things like that rarely traveled up to the Highlands. With the warming May weather, outbreaks happened often.</p><p>"Can't sleep?" Severus asked, standing by the fireplace, looking down at the newspaper. He couldn't see Regulus behind the paper.</p><p>The king was quiet for a long moment before he turned a page. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"</p><p>The older student furrowed his brow and crossed his arms. "Punching so low is beneath you, Regulus, but then again, I thought punching at all was beneath you." It wasn't his best quip, but he blamed it on the hour of the day.</p><p>"You look disgusting in love," Regulus spat, folding the paper so quickly that the pages wrinkled. Severus could see the anger in his eyes.</p><p>He glowered at him. "Is this what this is about? You've been jealous of Green?" he sneered, narrowing his eyes on Regulus. He neither accepted nor rejected Regulus's statement.</p><p>Unfolding his legs, Regulus rose to his feet and walked up to Severus. At this point, they were of equal height. "We had a future planned together, and you threw it away for what?" he spat. Regulus fisted into his robes, pulling him closer. "Love potions and pepper-ups? My family could've given you a brewing position at our company if you wanted to be a lowly brewer! What's gotten into you!"</p><p>"Change of plans," Severus answered coolly, keeping his gaze.</p><p>"He's ruined you. You could have had everything, and you threw it all away for <em>him</em>. <em>WHY HIM!</em>"</p><p>Severus had never seen Regulus so furious. The madness he had concealed seemed to have cracked through his carefully constructed mask. The king was no king. The king was a beast. When Severus looked deeper, he could see hurt and pain. Regulus was wounded. He lifted his hand and cradled Regulus's cheek. The pieces fell together, and the picture seemed as plain as day. At any time, it could have been Regulus. They could have lived the life that the young Black envisioned. A secret liaison while they accumulated power as Death Eaters. Secret stolen kisses in the dark. </p><p>"He chose me when you were too afraid to."</p><p>Regulus felt hot in the face, and a lump formed in his throat. It made it hard for him to speak. And, to his disbelief, tears burned in his eyes. He wasn't angry because Severus was wrong. No. He was angry because Severus was right, and he had nothing to say. Regulus shoved Severus away and left the Common Room with a loud slam of the door.</p><p>His chest aching, Severus pushed off the wall and looked up, ready to retreat to bed. But he froze in his step when he found Harry in his pajamas staring at him through the entryway. How long had he been there? How much had he seen?</p><p>"Harry, how--"</p><p>"Shut up," Harry muttered, stepping quickly over and throwing himself on Severus. Their lips met messily, kissing at odd angles.</p><p>"I--"</p><p>"Shut up." Harry kissed him hungrily again, and Severus relented, enveloping Harry in his arms.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>힘든 시간들을 건너<br/>I want to get through these hardships<br/>너의 손을 잡고 싶어<br/>And hold your hand</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was no definition of the word 'gay' that described Severus.</p><p>He was not lighthearted or care-free, and he certainly was not into men.</p><p>It didn't help that the only two people he had ever kissed in his life were both male nor that he was currently pushing his tongue into Harry's open willing mouth as he was debating his sexual orientation. The little moans Harry made sent chills down his spine.</p><p>The Room of Requirement served many purposes. It let them brew in peace with all the privacy in the world. Secondly, it let them snog their brains out like they were doing now.</p><p>They had only two weeks until their graduation ceremony, and they would no longer have access to this room. And by the grace of Merlin, they were going to use every minute of it.</p><p>He didn't know who it was who imagined it. Severus was convinced they both thought of it at the same time, but, ever since Harry had kissed him in the Common Room last night, there was a couch in the Room of Requirement. And there Severus sat with Harry straddling over him, grinding helplessly against his stomach.</p><p>"I want--"</p><p>"I know," Severus breathed, peppering kisses over his cheek and jaw.</p><p>"Can we?"</p><p>"Not yet."</p><p>"When?"</p><p>Severus was silent. He captured his lips again in a heated kiss. It was unfair to make comparisons when he'd had so few experiences, but Severus much preferred the feeling of Harry's lips. They were thinner than Regulus's, but they were still softer and tasted of baked sweets.</p><p>"Have you ever--" Harry pulled away, gasping.</p><p>"Never. Who the hell would I have done it with?"</p><p>Harry shrugged and dove in, kissing him again. He was deliciously addictive.</p><p>Severus pulled away. "Have <em>you</em> ever?"</p><p>"Never. Who the hell would <em>I</em> have done it with?" Granted, he had come close with Ginny before their disastrous breakup, but Harry didn't count heavy petting.</p><p>"How do we do it?"</p><p>"How hard could it be?"</p><p>Severus blinked and tilted his head. He brought Harry's hand down to his trousers, and his eyes widened fractionally. "Okay. Very hard."</p><p>Harry climbed off him, and he felt cold from the sudden absence of his warm body against him. "What are you doing?" Severus asked.</p><p>The other Slytherin pulled off his school robes and unbuttoned shirt. "Taking off my clothes. What are you doing clothed?"</p><p>"I don't-- I don't know how to do it," Severus stammered.</p><p>"I have a mouth. I'll figure it out," Harry answered easily, tossing his shirt to the side, revealing his lean body. He wasn't muscular by any definition of the word, but the years of fighting and run had kept him toned. Severus wet his lips when he began to pull away his belt and trousers. He toed off his shoes and socks until he wore nothing but his boxers. The outline of his erection was clear against the black fabric.</p><p>Harry looked beautiful, Severus decided. And that he was definitely gay.</p><p>Severus watched as he knelt between his legs. The brightness that was usually behind his eyes was now dulled by a cloudy lust. Unable to express himself in any other way, he spread his legs to give Harry more room. He must have looked as hot as he felt because Harry graciously extinguished half the candles in the room.</p><p>The bespectacled Slytherin smoothed his hands over the insides of Severus's thighs, and Severus realized he had never been touched like this before. Harry pressed his fingers against the bulging outline of his cock. Severus leaned over and lowered himself to kiss him again, both hands cradling Harry's cheeks.</p><p>"Are you sure you want this?" Harry whispered.</p><p>"No doubt in my mind." And Severus knew it. He pulled back to remove his robes and shirt. He undid his trouser buttons but otherwise left his pants on to let Harry unwrap his gift.</p><p>And Harry eagerly freed the hot throbbing cock from his restrictive boxers. He had never seen another man's cock before, and Severus's was longer and more veiny than his own. He traced a finger along the length of a vein, and Severus inhaled sharply at the sensation, his cock twitching happily in response.</p><p>There were already wet droplets pooling at the tip, and Harry tentatively licked it away. Salty, Harry decided.</p><p>Severus hissed.</p><p>"Did that hurt?" he asked quickly.</p><p>"No, that felt really good," he moaned, rolling his head back.</p><p>Harry kissed the tip and licked it again. Small kitten licks that drove Severus insane. His toes curled in his shoes, and his hands clenched into the couch's cushion to keep himself from reaching forward into Harry's hair and pulling him down to fuck his throat. But by Merlin's grace, he was not going to beg. It still didn't stop him from moaning wantonly into the empty room.</p><p>In that moment, Harry freed his own cock and stroked himself as he kissed Severus's length.</p><p>"Are you--" Severus asked curiously when he noticed Harry's breath catch with each kiss.</p><p>"Yes" came his breathy answer.</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>."</p><p>Harry waited not a moment longer, and he took Severus's tip into his mouth, sucking on the upstroke and breathing on the down. With each bob, he tried to take more of him in. Severus gasped and arched his back. "<em>Please. More</em>."</p><p>Oh. <em>Fuck</em>. Severus sounded so fucking hot.</p><p>He stroked himself faster as he sucked him in more and more. There wasn't a moment to swallow. Rather, Harry didn't want to stop long enough to try. Harry’s saliva, mixed with pre-cum, dripped down his cock and down his chin. Severus pushed his hand into Harry's hair, tugging him up and down, desperate to feel more of his mouth.</p><p>"It feels so good. I can't-- Harry. I'm going to cum," Severus moaned, barely able to get the words out of his mouth.</p><p>Harry stroked himself faster, bobbing up and down more eagerly. He felt Severus push his head down, and with a cry, Severus came into his mouth. Hot streaks of semen spilled into Harry's mouth. Desperately needing breath, Harry broke away with a gasp. But even as he did, Severus continued to cum, spilling forward over the couch. Eyes glazed over, Harry swallowed what was in his mouth, and he eagerly went back in to lick up what remained on his cock.</p><p>"Come here," Severus instructed, pulling Harry up into his lap to straddle him. He kissed his bruised lips, tasting himself on his tongue. A dexterous hand went around Harry's cock, and the other Slytherin moaned filthily at the touch.</p><p>"Severus,” Harry whispered, closing his eyes, overwhelmed by the sensation.</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"Please."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>He stroked him faster, going faster as Harry bucked desperately into his hand. Within moments, he came into his hand with Severus's name on his lips in a ghost of a gasp.</p><p>Severus stroked him through his high and kissed him back to reality.</p><p>And there they laid -- boneless and limp, achingly worn -- until the fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p></p><div>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"'Snape and Green' sounds ridiculous," Severus lamented. They had done everything to set up their shop but decide on a name. He sighed, looking amid the three pieces of parchment that held all sorts of ideas for names.</p><p>"What's so ridiculous about it?" Harry countered. They'd been at this for nearly an hour, and their grand opening was tomorrow morning. How could anyone know what they're coming in for if they didn't have a sign out! It was a small and simple shop. It looked like the way that Ollivander arranged his shop -- one long counter that divided the front of the store from the back. There were some potions on display at the window, but most of the inventory was kept in the back. They agreed that Harry would man the front and keep inventory while Snape brewed in the back. In the backroom, they made a makeshift bedroom. Where they thought they would need two beds, they now had only one large one.</p><p>Severus shook his head, biting down absently at the take-away sandwiches from Diagon Alley Harry had gotten them. "Just doesn't sound right," he answered after swallowing. He had his hair tied back, and he wore black robes with a high collar. They were in the same style as the one he wore when he ultimately became a professor. Harry had no part in picking them out, but Severus must have chosen to wear them because of how stunned he looked when Harry first saw the outfit.</p><p>"'Snape's Potions'?" Harry suggested, pulling over the parchment that held the name.</p><p>"I don't want people to buy the potions because they have my name on it!"</p><p>"Why not? That's precisely why they would buy them!"</p><p>"They should buy them for their quality and how effective they are, not because of my name!" Severus countered, glaring at all the suggestions that had 'Snape' in it.</p><p>Harry groaned, and his head fell against the counter. "It's called a 'brand,' Severus!" he mumbled into the old wooden counter. "<em>Accio business book</em>," he uttered, pointing his wand up. The desired book came quickly and floated beside his head. "Chapter 8. Branding," he uttered, and the book flipped to the page, turning to display the contents to Severus. "It's how people remember us and want to come back." He lifted his head -- a small red mark forming in the middle of his forehead -- and leveled a pointed look at his business partner.</p><p>"Yes, I'm aware of <em>branding</em>. It just doesn't have to be my name." He sighed and scratched the back of his head, trying to think of a name meaningful to the both of them. Harry mirrored the movement and climbed off his stool to encourage blood circulation. Maybe then he can think more clearly.</p><p>"Okay. Let's think about how we started," Harry suggested.</p><p>"You were punched, gave me a business plan, and passed out," Severus answered dryly. His eyes widened and snapped his fingers. "'Punch's Potions.' Has a nice ring."</p><p>"I'm going to punch <em>you</em>!" Harry growled. "We were brewing in the Room of Requirement. How about 'Room of Potions'?"</p><p>Severus considered it and pressed his lips together. "Acceptable. 'Punch's Potions' would make better marketing."</p><p>Harry closed the book hovering beside him and swung at Severus. Without looking up, the taller man sidestepped the swing and took another bite of his food.</p>
<hr/><p>The grand opening of 'Room of Potions' attracted more people than they expected. Many people walked by simply because they saw a crowd around the store. The line for potion orders went out the door. People came in with fairly common requests -- Strengthening Potion, Pepper-Ups, Cleaning Potions. For custom orders, Harry took their order down and referenced the list that Severus had prepared for him. It listed out the cost and the time of delivery. There were already five custom orders by late morning! Harry's next customer caught him by surprise. She was a middle-aged woman who looked a lot like Severus. If it weren't for her short height, Harry would have mistaken her for Severus. In the same way that he stared at her, she seemed to be sizing him up as she ordered.</p><p>"One Pepper-Up please. It's for St. Mungo's."</p><p>"An order of Pepper-Up Potion. It'll be right up," Harry repeated, writing down the order in his book. "And what is the name for the order?"</p><p>"Eileen Snape," she answered, her voice quiet and soft. "My son wrote to me that today was the grand opening." A sad, proud smile stretched over her lips.</p><p>Harry's lips parted in recognition. "Yes, he's in the back. Should I get him?"</p><p>"No. He must be busy. I don't want to bother him."</p><p>Harry understood and nodded tightly. "I'll go get you your order."</p><p>He stepped into the back and brought back two vials of Pepper-Ups, stuffing it into a paper bag and handing it to her.</p><p>"But I ordered only --"</p><p>"It's on the house. It's good to see you, Ms. Snape."</p><p>"Thank you, Harry." Eileen nodded and walked away, her small frame disappearing amongst the crowd. So Severus had been talking to his mother about him.</p>
<hr/><p>After the initial wave of interest, the lines shortened and became more manageable. The first few weeks of business left them with little rest and even less sleep. When Harry wasn't manning the counter, he helped Severus with brewing. When Severus wasn't brewing, he went out to get him and Harry some food. They worked well in tandem.</p><p>Eileen never came to visit again. Perhaps she only ever visited because she could disappear into the crowd and not stay long to talk to her son. If Severus wanted to see more of her, he never said so. He seemed content to spend all his time with Harry.</p><p>"I got something in the mail today," Severus murmured, looking up at the ceiling. Harry had his head on his chest, his leg curled around Severus's and an arm sprawled over him.</p><p>His eyes closed, Harry hummed sleepily. "What'd you get?"</p><p>"Wedding invitation from our classmates."</p><p>"Someone's getting married before us?" he mumbled.</p><p>Severus stiffened and looked down at the top of Harry's head. The other man didn't move as if completely unfazed by what he had just said. Smiling faintly, he laid back down and lifted a hand, smoothing his fingers into Harry's hair.</p><p>"Yes, even before us," he answered, silently agreeing to Harry's very lousy and very lazy proposal.</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>"Lily Evans and James Potter. In three months time."</p><p>Harry stiffened and opened his eyes. They were getting married already? "The Head Girl and Head Boy? Are you going?"</p><p>"No, not unless you wanted to."</p><p>Harry shifted and climbed up over Severus so that he straddled him. His hands were in the bed on either side of Severus. "Tell me the truth. Did you love her?"</p><p>It came across sounding more accusatory than investigatory. Severus looked up at him, feeling the temptation to Occlude his feelings so Harry wouldn't be confused. He reached up and brought his face down for a tender kiss. "I did," he admitted when he parted. "I thought I did."</p><p>
  <em>"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"For him?" shouted Snape. "Expecto Patronum!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe. She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"After all this time?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Always," said Snape.</em>
</p><p>"What do you mean?" Harry asked, shaking the memory from his mind. He said his Patronus was a fox. When did it become a doe? Did he still love Lily?</p><p>"She and I grew up as neighbors. I helped her discover that she had magic. She and I were good friends until I said something awful to her in our fifth year," he continued, swallowing thickly. "She refused to forgive me. I don't know why she'd send me an invitation." Severus pushed up to sitting, and Harry sat up with him. "I thought, one day, we'd fall in love and get married, that it was simply something we would do." He shook his head and let out a tense breath. "I didn't know any better. And then you came along."</p><p>Harry was silent.</p><p>"I don't love her, Harry," he assured, taking Harry's hand. "Not that way. She is like a sister to me."</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>Severus's smile built slowly, and he kissed the back of Harry's hand. "Me too."</p>
<hr/><p>It seemed the dragon pox outbreak wasn't contained at all. There was another cluster in the Midlands and one in the Highlands. Severus had told him that it occurred fairly consistently every summer, and Harry realized it was already July again. It'd been a year since they opened shop. They were still making a great deal of profit, but it was slower than expected when they ran out of the materials that they had pilfered from the Room of Requirement. For now, they had more than enough to live, but it meant that Severus's plans to get into a Mastery program would be delayed. He wasn't happy about it, but he didn't seem to mind. 'I have multiple goals now' was his vague, hand-wavy answer when Harry had asked him.</p><p>Harry continued to scan The Prophet during his lunch break, chewing on a chunk of baked potato. Severus was brewing in the back. According to the article, there were no cure-all for dragon pox, it seemed. Every case was unique and manifested in its own way. There was even a mention of Abraxas Malfoy, who had died a few years back to dragon pox, as if to remind readers that it could affect all sorts of people -- powerful, wealthy, or not.</p><p>He turned the page, and his heart sank. In a thin side article, he caught the headline: "Room of Potions -- Try or Pass?"</p><p><em>"Located at the intersection of Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley, Room of Potions boasts a wide selection of potions common and rare. The master brewer is rarely present, and much of their operation is a closely guarded secret. When sought for comments, no one could be reached."</em> Harry balked. No one had sought anyone for comments!</p><p>
  <em>"We decided to order a Pepper-Up Potion and compare it to the leading brands from Mediwitch and Brewsters, both companies held by the Black estate. In a triple-blind test, Room of Potions performed no better than the leading brands. With its higher prices, is it really worth it? The Daily Prophet certainly thinks not!"</em>
</p><p>Harry let out a loud, frustrated groan. Severus nearly jumped out of the brewing room, carrying a dried octopus tentacle in one hand. "What's happened?"</p><p>"The Daily Prophet did a hit piece on us!" Harry said angrily, waving the paper around.</p><p>"What -- why would--" His words died as he moved closer, reading the article over. Severus sobered quickly. Black. He narrowed his eyes on the paper. Was this Regulus's idea of revenge? "Don't mind it."</p><p>"We have to hit back. We can't let them--"</p><p>"No one reads the rag anyway."</p><p>"Yes, they do. And people will believe them. Severus, this could delay your--"</p><p>Severus leaned in to kiss him, cutting him off. "It'll be all right," he assured. "We beat them with our skills, not with shouting matches."</p><p>Harry stared at the taller man.</p><p>"Finish your lunch. I need your help in the back."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>다가올 내일은 불안한 표정이지만<br/>Even though I looked nervous for tomorrow<br/>쉽게 나를 놓을 순 없네<br/>I can’t easily let go of myself</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the chapter I dread writing the most.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"To what do I owe the pleasure, Severus?" Lucius voiced. He sounded like a predator playing with his barely alive food.</p><p>Severus sat in a too ornate, too uncomfortable chair. The living area that had once been host to the Solstice Party was too big for a meeting for just the two of them. It made Severus feel small, his vulnerabilities more exposed, and perhaps, that was exactly what Lucius wanted.</p><p>"How did Abraxas live as long as he did with dragon pox?" he asked, his voice raw as if he had been shouting. His eyes were sunken, and his skin seemed paler.</p><p>Lucius pursed his lips, unaffected by the topic of his father's death. The man was hateful and abusive. He was a difficult man to miss. "Did he live long? He barely held out a month. Though, I suppose, most die within a week."</p><p>A week. Harry had bought her a week. But a month -- it would drain his and the shop's livelihood in one fell swoop. And there wasn't a guarantee of survival. They'd both be ruined.</p><p>"My mother --" Severus whispered, a lump forming in his throat.</p><p>Lucius stared at him, his normally sharp gaze softening. "Which temperament?"</p><p>"Phlegmatic."</p><p>"At least there's hope. My father was choleric. Inconsolable and untreatable. He held out on anger alone, I think." Lucius smirked cruelly and hid his lips with a sip of his wine.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>"Let me see her!" Severus growled.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Mr. Snape, please calm down." The mediwitch spoke in a tone that was at once calm and condescending. Harry was sure Severus was going to kill her. "She is in a highly contagious state. We cannot let anyone see her. Our grief counselors can help you arrange--"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck your counselors! Let me see her!" Severus slammed his fist against a table, which caused the papers and cups to rattle and shake. The other people in the waiting room were alarmed but understanding about his predicament. It seemed many of them had come for the same reason. They all held the same notification letter that Severus had received.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What are the options for treatment?" Harry asked, cutting in. He placed a hand on Severus's arm, a sorry attempt to soothe his anger. Severus pulled his arm away and stepped to the side, turning away. Harry tried not to seem hurt by the reaction.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Her course of infection is phlegmatic in temperament, so it is promising. She's only been in there for two days. Luckily, we got to her sooner than most since she was an employee here. And those who do recover usually fall into this category. The only treatment is cryo-spells, to slow down the spread of the pox so that her body can have to fight it. The issue is the cost. It's a risky procedure for our mediwitches to go in and --"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Put her on it immediately. I'll pay," Harry answered quickly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The mediwitch stared at him, not quite believing that a young man could possibly have the money to pay for such a treatment. "It costs 300 Galleons a day." That was what they made in a week before rent, utilities, and supplies. And that was on a good week. Ever since the Prophet's hit piece, their revenue had suffered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Swallowing thickly, Harry pulled out his own Gringott's checkbook, writing out a payment for 2,100 Galleons. A treatment for seven days. It'd give them time to think and cool down. It also happened to be nearly all the money he had left in his account. When Severus heard the ripping of a checkbook, he turned and gripped his hand. Harry pushed away his hand and finished ripping the entry out. "Please put her on the treatment immediately," he instructed, handing the check over.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Severus had been silent the entire trip back to their shop. Harry didn't make an attempt to get him to talk. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When they arrived at the shop, Harry moved to unlock the door. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It wouldn't have happened had I taken Lucius's offer," Severus said suddenly, his voice flat and lifeless.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Harry felt a sobering chill rush down his spine. "That's not tr--"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"She wouldn't have needed to get a job at St. Mungo's," he continued as if Harry hadn't spoken at all.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Severus." Harry turned to look at him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Severus didn't look back. Instead, he turned and walked away. In that moment, a dream came to an end.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Where are you going?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Out."</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>"You haven't answered my question," Lucius pointed out.</p><p>"I need your help."</p><p>Lucius inhaled deeply through his nostrils -- equal parts irritated and elated that this was finally happening. He unfolded his legs and leaned forward in his chair. The leather creaked with his movement. "You know I am unpermitted to help those who spurned the Dark Lord."</p><p>"I didn't spurn Him," Severus answered through clenched teeth, glaring at Lucius. He didn't like where this was going. Lucius was taking advantage of him. But what option did he have?</p><p>"But you didn't choose Him. It is as good as turning Him down," Lucius countered smoothly. He scoffed and shook his head, downing the rest of his wine. "You chose Harry Green over the Dark Lord!" he yelled as if it were the most ridiculous thing in the world.</p><p>Severus swallowed thickly. "I thought you were my brother," he attempted.</p><p>"Would a dutiful little brother turn down the Dark Lord, run amok, and fall in love with a strange Half-Blood?" Lucius pointed out, quirking a brow. "I don't have a little brother like that." When Severus had no answer, Lucius continued. "I don't fault you for falling in love with another man. No, I do not prejudice that. But you turned away the perfectly crafted path for something so <em>foolish</em>!" Severus winced at his words.</p><p>He was foolish.</p><p>He wanted so desperately to believe Harry, that there was another way, that he could have it all. He wanted to believe his eyes. He wanted to believe his smile. He wanted to believe in what Lily had once saw in him. He wanted to believe them all.</p><p>His hands trembled.</p><p>Why did he believe such <em>stupid</em> things! There were few things that were <em>real</em> in life -- only power and death. One escaped death's grip with power. Power alone yielded more time, and time was the thing wizards and humans alike had too little of. Love was not among the things that were real. How could it be?</p><p>What was love in the face of death!</p><p>Nothing!</p><p>Nothing at all!</p><p>"You are worth a hundred common brewers, and you know it," he hissed, thinly concealed anger bubbling over. He stood up, gesticulating animatedly as he spoke. "You used to be so careful, Severus! You knew what it meant to survive, to <em>win</em>! The hexes you showed me when you were just a first-year -- I thought you knew what it took. I thought you had what it took to wield power!"</p><p>There was anger. But there was also immense disappointment.</p><p>"You've <em>wasted</em> it all. You've <em>squandered</em> your mother's Pure Blood! She'll die with an only son who has achieved <em>nothing</em>!"</p><p>Severus covered his mouth with his trembling hand and sobbed into his palm. His hand shook so much that he had to hold his own wrist to keep control. He shrank in his seat, sobbing uncontrollably. He wished he were in his mother's place instead of her. "Please," he begged brokenly. He fell to his knees, his palms pressed to the floor. "Please help her. I'll take the Dark Mark. I'll do what He wants."</p><p>"He really has ruined you." Another voice echoed through the large hall. Severus shuddered, tears streaking his red and swollen face. He turned his head to find Regulus leaning against the frame of the door.</p><p>"Why are you--"</p><p>"I let him know the moment I received your owl," Lucius explained, glancing over at Regulus. "I'll let you two catch up." The blond walked past Regulus and out the door.</p><p>"Lucius!" Severus shouted, but he didn't turn back.</p><p>Shaking his head in disapproval, Regulus tutted, sneering at the state Severus was in. He didn't move from his place from the door. "Look at what he's made you. Still in your dirty old robes and now you're begging on the floor like some common <em>dog</em>."</p><p>Severus rose to his feet, but he knew he recovered none of the dignity he gave away. He found he couldn't look at Regulus. "You tipped off the Prophet," he voiced, putting energy to sounding confident.</p><p>A cruel smirk formed over Regulus's lips, and he laughed in a manner that was just short of a cackle. The Slytherin clapped his hands together, mockingly congratulating Severus for piecing it together. "Skeeter is a wonderful upstart, isn't she?" Regulus laughed again and sighed, satisfied with himself. "I can't let your little 'Room of Potions' bring down sales of my company now, could I?" he sneered. The dark black suit he wore was almost Muggle in style, and Severus tried not to think how the angles made him look that much more intimidating. Regulus pushed off the frame and walked over to Severus. He was still taller than him, but Regulus never allowed a thing like height to affect how he used his power.</p><p>"Did he give you everything you wanted?" he whispered darkly, narrowing his eyes at Severus. Severus didn't answer and refused to meet his gaze. "<em>LOOK AT ME!</em>" he shouted suddenly, the anger so at odds with his normal demeanor that Severus snapped to attention, moving his eyes to meet Regulus's.</p><p>"Answer me, Severus." His tone was even and low again. The way his anger rose and subsided frightened Severus.</p><p>"I thought he did," Severus answered honestly. He clenched his jaw. The nights they spent in bed, whispering to each other, making promises of a brighter future -- they felt so real. They were everything Severus ever wanted.</p><p>"Clearly not. Your mother is dying in the hospital she had to work at during an outbreak because <em>you</em> couldn't provide for her," he hissed. Regulus's hand shot up and seized his face, pressing his fingers painfully into Severus's jaw. "How pathetic you must feel."</p><p>It hurt. It felt like his jaw would break under the pressure. Severus knew better than to fight back against the two people who were in the position to help him. They both had money beyond measure. With a snap of their fingers, they could pay for the full treatment and maybe even more. So he kept his wincing to a minimum.</p><p>"I remember when you told me you wanted to go into potions research. To <em>design</em> your own potions," he barked, that wildness still everpresent. "And you're making <em>Pepper-Ups! </em>Did you think you can save up enough to pay for a Mastery program? Was that your stupid plan?" he continued, not letting Severus a moment to respond. "Have you any idea how competitive potion-making is? Why do you think there are only apothecaries in Diagon Alley and not <em>potions</em> shops? Why do companies consolidate in the market? It was to <em>stay</em> competitive. If you had any vision for business, you might have known that before embarking on such a <em>stupid</em> venture. <em>Those</em> are the realities of the world, Severus, not a student's pipe dream. But you decided to throw away all of our work for the dreams of an idiot! Why <em>him</em>!" His fingers dug even deeper, his nails drawing blood.</p><p>
  <em>He charmed the parchment and floated it across the room to Harry. "It's not a bad plan."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If we started this year, we could probably get by without a lab and just use whatever Slughorn provides us. We'd have a secure a supplier for the ingredients, but maybe Slughorn can help with that too. I imagine we'd make enough to afford a year's rent in a small shop in Knockturn Alley by the time we graduate. Not the best location, but it's not like Diagon Alley has any decent potions shops."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You'd do it?" Harry whispered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Speak up, Green. No business owner should speak so weakly."</em>
</p><p>Severus's eyes burned with tears. The lump in his throat made it hard to breathe. He wanted to believe him. Why did he want to believe him so badly?</p><p>After what felt like minutes of agony, Regulus let him go, and Severus stumbled backwards.</p><p>"I'll ask you again. Did he give you everything you wanted?"</p><p>Severus looked at him and quickly Occluded his thoughts.</p><p>"No," he said. "I wish I had chosen you."</p><p>A flash of sobriety crossed Regulus's face, and, for the briefest of moments, he looked like the first-year who was so enamored with Severus. "I--" His left forearm flared, and he pulled back his sleeve, revealing a black pulsing Dark Mark burning into his pale skin.</p><p>Footsteps rumbled outside. "He's summoning us," Lucius announced, running into the room. He looked between the two. "Have you decided?"</p><p>Regulus looked at Severus. "I'll bring him." From outside the door, Lucius quickly summoned a black hood and tossed it into the room. Regulus caught it without looking. Lucius threw on his travelers cloak. A wave of his wand materialized his Death Eater mask. A soft 'pop!' told Regulus that Lucius had already left.</p><p>He approached Severus with the hood and wordlessly brought it over his head. He stopped just before covering his mouth and leaned forward, capturing him in a kiss. Severus returned it with equal fervor. He could taste the salt of his tears, and Regulus found himself kissing away the tears that didn't seem to stop.</p><p>When they parted, Regulus was breathless. He was bitter that Severus seemed to have gotten better in kissing, but he didn't linger on it. The rewards would soon be his and only his to reap.</p><p>"Your mother will be fine," he assured. "Just do as He says. I'll be with you."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>다신 못 올 차갑게 사라진 꿈이지만<br/>It’s a dream that has coldly disappeared and will never come back<br/>조금 어렸었던 부족했던 나 아쉬워<br/>I was young and lacked so much</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Pfft. I'm not crying. You're crying.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"No Time Turner can bring a wizard to the future. The consequences would be too dire to even contemplate. Traveling to the future presumes the absence of the wizard during the period that the wizard has traveled. It would be as if the wizard had died and held zero consequence to the world and then suddenly reappeared. Such a world could not sustain him as his soul had been absent from the world for so long that it is presumed that his soul no longer belonged to the world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Only the Time Turner that brought the wizard to the past may bring him back to the present."</em>
</p><p>One turn was one hour. Harry woke up an hour early to attempt it. The shop was closed and locked, and the curtains were drawn. He walked to the supplies closet with the Time Turner and wound back exactly one turn. There was a low chance of bumping into himself as he would be still sleeping in the back room. Harry took in a breath and closed his eyes, bracing for the nauseating feeling of Time Travel. He turned the dial once.</p><p>Harry opened one eye.</p><p>The sands did not move at all. The rotors did not move.</p><p>Harry shook the Time Turner and tried again.</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>A cold chill passed through his body. The Time Turner was done.</p><p>Harry frantically turned the dial again, shoving his thumb between the spheres to force it to move, but nothing budged. "No," he breathed, panic rising in him. "Please."</p><p>Severus had been gone for three days. Harry didn't know where he was, but he knew what he had done.</p><p>"Please. Move!" he gasped, shaking the Time Turner.</p><p>He'd failed.</p><p>"<em>Move</em>!"</p><p>His hands shook. The Time Turner tumbled out and fell to the ground, bouncing a few paces from him. Harry collapsed to the ground. A broken sob ripped from his throat, and his hands moved into his hair as he sat on the ground of the supplies closet. The abundant ingredients that surrounded him seemed to mock him for Severus's absence.</p><p>What use was this shop if it couldn't stop him from becoming a Death Eater!</p><p>What use was any of this!</p>
<hr/><p>"Do you have anything that can change someone's taste buds?" a customer asked. He was an elderly wizard, who looked too happy with his idea. To Harry, his request sounded hollow and distant, and Harry was barely there to respond.</p><p>"Sorry, we're not taking any custom orders at this time," Harry answered emptily, automatically. "Our brewer is away."</p><p>"Ah, pity. Halloween's just around the corner. Would've been a great prank," the customer offered jovially, hoping to cheer Harry up.</p><p>Harry nodded absently.</p><p>"Well, I'll take a Pepper-Up for today then and try again in a few days."</p><p>Harry didn't remember walking back to the stores to get the Pepper-Up nor did he remember writing the order down. He only realized he had fulfilled the order when the bell on the door rang shut, and the customer had left.</p>
<hr/><p>On the sixth day of Eileen's treatment, Harry withdrew his half of the shop's savings and returned to St. Mungo's. It would be enough for another two weeks of treatment.</p><p>"Hi, I was here last week for Eileen Snape," he introduced himself. It was the same mediwitch manning the reception this time. She seemed to regard him with some sympathy. He must have looked worse than the last time she'd seen him. Had he even eaten since Severus left?</p><p>"Are you here to check on her status? May I have your name?"</p><p>"Harry Green." The mediwitch flipped through a clipboard and pressed her lips together. She looked into another drawer and flipped through some papers. "I don't see your name on the authorized visitors for Eileen Snape."</p><p>"Oh, uh, I'm not-- I'm her son's boy-- friend. I'm her son's friend," he corrected painfully. He chewed the insides of his cheek to keep from tearing up. Harry sniffled and cleared his throat. "I'm just here to make payment for her cryo treatment?"</p><p>The mediwitch furrowed her brow and looked through her papers again. "It says here that her treatment has been paid in full. And she's been enrolled in an experimental treatment. We're not expecting any more payments for her."</p><p>Harry stared at her, but his mind was far away.</p><p>Severus had made a deal with the devil.</p><p>He'd failed him. He couldn't save him.</p><p>
  <em>"For him!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Always</em>
  <em>."</em>
</p><p><em>"Look. At. Me.</em> <em>" </em></p><p>It took everything for Harry to fixate on Snape's eyes, to watch the last of his light fade from him.</p><p>The world seemed too close and too far at the same time. His fingers were cold. He looked down at them to find them tinted blue and shaking uncontrollably. The mediwitch was moving her mouth, but Harry heard nothing.</p><p>"Mr. Green? Mr. Green!" The world rumbled with urgent footsteps. "Mr. Green!"</p>
<hr/><p>When he awoke, it was dark, and Harry was in his pajamas and in his bed in the backroom of his shop. He reached over to his bedside table and found his glasses where he normally left him.</p><p>"You should eat." A rough low voice pierced the darkness, but Harry did not flinch. Not this time. He knew who it was even without his glasses.</p><p>Harry pulled on his glasses and looked up to find Severus standing by their bed. He was wearing a traveler's cloak, like the ones the Death Eaters wore. Harry teared up immediately and looked away. He wished the lump in his throat could choke him to death right then and there. He wished the world would open up and swallow him whole. He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. It was when he looked away that he realized there was a slice of treacle tart on his bedside table.</p><p>An involuntary sob broke through his lips, and he hid his face in his arms.</p><p>"Leave the shop. Take the money and leave," Severus instructed, his voice neutral and distant. "I can convince them to wait a week, but I can't buy you more time than that."</p><p>"Or <em>what</em>?" Harry exploded, glaring up at him.</p><p>Severus's face was inscrutable, like there were parts of him he had simply erased. He looked like the potions professor he had met when he was eleven. Even in the darkness, Harry could see it: the hauntedness behind guarded eyes. Severus was afraid. He had always been afraid. It was that fear that gave birth to the courage Harry had been too blinded to see so many years ago.</p><p>"You cannot be here" was his cryptic answer.</p><p>Harry knew what he meant. He knew how Voldemort operated. He knew how that sick fuck worked. He had his soul attached to him for nearly two decades. He knew what he was capable of asking Severus to do.</p><p>"What if I am here?" he asked in a whisper.</p><p>"You cannot."</p><p>"Would you do it?" Harry asked firmly, not taking his eyes off him.</p><p>"I have to."</p><p>It was Harry's answer to Dumbledore's question when he first met him in this time. There was simply no other option. They were compelled by something beyond logic and reason. For Severus, it was his love. For Harry, it was time. And now, those things were indistinguishable.</p><p>"He'd kill you," Harry supplied quietly. "And your mother."</p><p>"And you."</p><p>Harry scoffed at the sentiment and let out a hollow laugh. Severus looked alarmed at his response. He didn't know. Harry didn't blame him. He couldn't know that Harry had kicked the fucker's ass when he was younger than even Snape was. He should have savored that moment more. He should have tormented the fucker into oblivion. He'd ensure that he would spare the fucker no pain. No, he was bloody Harry James Potter, and he was the Master of Death himself.</p><p>He'll control Time.</p><p>He sniffled and wiped his eyes, letting out loud sighs to collect himself. Harry threw off the covers and stood up on the opposite side of the bed, facing Severus.</p><p>"I have two conditions."</p><p>Severus stiffened and put up even more mental walls to brace for Harry's words but otherwise remained silent.</p><p>"The first, show me your Patronus." Severus was the only Death Eater who could produce a Patronus. He knew that much to be true. Harry wasn't going to protect the present or the past; he was going to ensure his future, <em>their</em> future.</p><p>"And the second?"</p><p>"I'll tell you after you fulfill the first."</p><p>To conjure a Patronus meant lowering his guard, and Severus was reluctant to do so. He had barely survived the past three days. He feared he could no longer produce a Patronus at all. "What if I can't?"</p><p>"You have to."</p><p>Severus retrieved his wand from the inside of his sleeve. Harry surmised that this must have been when he picked up that habit; he had always kept it in his back pocket. He watched Severus close his eyes as if in deep thought. His face looked pained. Harry could bear to see him in pain. He crossed the space between them and cradled his face. He kissed him, soft lips meeting tense, cold ones.</p><p>He didn't deserve this.</p><p>He didn't deserve to be kissed.</p><p>Severus shuddered and returned his kiss. His wand clattered to the floor, and he wrapped his arms around Harry, holding him tight to his body. He didn't deserve Harry's warmth, but he desperately needed it. And Harry seemed equally eager to give him what he needed.</p><p>He didn't deserve his love.</p><p>He didn't deserve to be loved.</p><p>"I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly, tears breaking through. He hadn't cried when the Dark Lord administered round after round of Cruciatus upon him. There were no tears left from him by the time he was done. But he had tears for Harry. His heart still beat for him. He could still feel life for him. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"I know," Harry gasped, enrapturing him in another kiss. "I'm sorry too."</p><p>"I can't give you a Patronus," Severus whispered helplessly.</p><p>Harry gripped his cheeks and pressed his forehead against his lover's. "You have to, Severus! For me!"</p><p>Tearfully, Harry moved away and pulled his wand out. "<em>Expecto Patronum!</em>" he bellowed. In all his bitterness and desperation, his Patronus still came to him. The stag burst forward and bounded around the small room. It stopped by Severus, lowering its head expectantly. The Death Eater lifted his hand over the stag's head and felt the emotions that powered it.</p><p>
  <em>Harry started awake when he heard the outburst. The other students were still sleeping soundly. Was he the only one who heard it? He slowly made his way up the stairs and found Regulus pushed up against Severus.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He chose me when you were too afraid to."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In that moment, Harry knew. He knew how Severus felt. He waited until Regulus left before nearly running over to him and kissed him.</em>
</p><p>Severus picked up his wand. "<em>Expecto Patronum</em>," he bellowed and out burst a silvery-white doe. She bounded around the room much like the stag did and settled beside the stag, bumping her head gently against his. "It's a--"</p><p>"A doe," Harry answered in a quiet voice. The doe was for him. Just as Lily's doe had been for James.</p><p>"It was a fox," Severus muttered, stunned. The doe bumped heads with the stag again, and they both vanished. "How did it change?"</p><p>Harry remembered the time that Snape had insulted Tonks's change in Patronus. He realized now was how he learned what it meant for a Patronus to change. He realized now that all that had happened was meant to happen. "It changes when you suffer a great shock, an emotional upheaval," he answered. "Because--"</p><p>"Because I love you," Severus answered, voice heavy with emotion.</p><p>"Because you love me," Harry repeated. "Keep her. Don't let her go. She'll keep you safe."</p><p>"I won't let her go."</p><p>Harry nodded solemnly and turned to dig into his dresser. He fished around until he found what he needed. His old Slytherin tie. He pulled off his glasses and set it down at the bedside table before pulling the tie around his eyes and tying it behind his head.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Severus asked.</p><p>"My second condition," Harry answered blindly, pulling the knot tightly. He lifted his head to where Severus stood. "Make love to me. Like before. One last time. I won't see the mark. I don't want to see the mark. I don't want to remember you with a mark." The lump returned, and his eyes burned with tears again. "And I'll leave. That's all I'll ever ask of you," he finished, his voice breaking.</p><p>It was a good thing Harry couldn't see. Severus wouldn't be able to bear seeing those eyes.</p><p>Severus removed his cloak and unbuttoned his shirt, shedding both to the ground. His Mark burned on his left forearm. It gave him no pride as it did for the other Death Eaters. It gave him only power, power to keep Death at bay and nothing else. The Mark meant he lost his love. The Mark meant he had access to all the wealth in the world. The Mark gave him Regulus. But no wealth in the world could give him Harry. And Regulus paled in comparison to the brightness that was Harry. The Mark was useless to him.</p><p>It was better that Harry never saw it, even if it meant he would never see his eyes in the throes of love again.</p><p>He crossed the space between them and cradled Harry's cheek like it was the most delicate thing in the world. He kissed him chastely until Harry pressed in hungrily, their tongues dueling. He could feel Harry's cock swell through his trousers, and he made his own erection known against Harry's front.</p><p>"Fuck me," Harry whispered filthily, ever eager.</p><p>"Patience," Severus chided, ever patient. He wished for his eyes. He wished that brightness, the eyes that told him he was worth the world.</p><p>He laid Harry down into the bed and undid the buttons of his shirt, revealing his bare chest. Severus leaned down and licked from his collar up his neck, and Harry shivered, gasping. "Sev."</p><p>"I know," he whispered, pressing a butterfly kiss over his cheek.</p><p>He mouthed over his ear, tracing lingering kisses that burned into Harry's skin all the way down to his stomach.</p><p>"Please, Sev. I'm--"</p><p>Severus locked his fingers into Harry's, calming him with a gentle squeeze. "I know."</p><p>He mouthed over the thick outline of his cock, inhaling the musky scent of the pre-cum that had already stained through his boxers. Harry whined like he had always whined when Severus teased him like this.</p><p>Severus pulled away his trousers and boxers in one motion, discarding it among the rumpled pile of cloak and shirts. Magically lubricated fingers moved over his entrance and teased around the puckered flesh. For some reason, Harry enjoyed this part the most. 'It's because you look so concentrated when you do it' had been his reason.</p><p>Harry gasped when a finger went inside him, and he bucked upward, his bottom lip drawn in between his teeth.</p><p>If Harry could see him, he would have seen his hungry eyes, the desperation behind them, how much he wanted Harry forever.</p><p>Another gasp and a wanton moan when the second went in, stretching him. And then the third sent Harry arching in bed.</p><p>When Harry was properly stretched, Severus spared no time and pulled away the rest of his clothing. He inserted himself inside Harry until he was fully sheathed in his warmth. The man beneath him shuddered, spreading his legs to envelope him, encouraging him to go even deeper.</p><p>"Fuck me."</p><p>He obeyed.</p><p>Severus thrusted into him. Harry cried over and over, gasping and catching his breath each time he pushed into him.</p><p>"You're mine," Harry moaned.</p><p>"I'm yours," Severus promised.</p><p>"Always."</p><p>"Always," he repeated.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>어느 날 우리 한 번쯤 우연히 만나요<br/>One day, let’s run into each other<br/>눈이 부시게 이별했던 그날처럼<br/>Like that dazzling day when we said goodbye<br/>어느새 우리 서로가 몰라본대도<br/>Even if we don’t recognize each other<br/>낯선 발길로 지나쳐도 그냥 그렇게 두어요<br/>Even if we pass by each other with unfamiliar footsteps<br/>Let’s just leave it</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If there were any love potion in the treacle tart, it wouldn't have changed how Harry behaved. No, he knew he would love Severus forever.</p><p>He also knew forever, for him, was roughly seven days.</p><p>He spared no time and wrote two letters: one to Severus and another to Hermione. There were many versions of both, and many pieces of parchment were spent rewriting them. When he was satisfied, Harry went to Hogwarts.</p>
<hr/><p>"Professor McGonagall?" Harry voiced, knocking on the open office door twice. He stuck his head in, and McGonagall gasped.</p><p>"Oh, Mr. Green! I was not expecting you!" she answered, smiling. She glided around her desk and opened her arms to envelope Harry into a tight embrace. Harry smiled, returning the hug.</p><p>"Well, how can I help you today? More transfiguration lessons perhaps?" she mused.</p><p>"I actually have a favor to ask of you," Harry explained, producing a letter -- both the letter and the envelope were charmed to preserve for decades. The envelope was addressed: "For Hermione Jean Granger"</p><p>McGonagall furrowed her brow when she saw the envelope. "I'm afraid I don't know anyone by that name."</p><p>"Not right now, but you will. One day, you will. There will come a day when you speak before a council, and Hermione will be there. You will know who she is by then. Deliver this letter to her," Harry continued. "Not earlier and not later. You will know the moment."</p><p>McGonagall seemed perplexed and her lips thinned. "Mr. Green, what are you saying? How am I to know her? How do you know all this?" she asked, each question bringing her more alarm.</p><p>"Please trust me." He reached forward and took her hand, pushing the enveloped into her fingers. "You will know the moment."</p><p>"This is all very mad, Mr. Green!"</p><p>"Yes, I know," he answered, smiling ruefully.</p><p>"Surely, another faculty member can--"</p><p>"No. Only you can," Harry pressed on, squeezing her hand. "Only you. Please."</p><p>The stiffness in her shoulders relaxed, and she took the envelope warily. "I will do my best."</p><p>"You always do, professor. It's why I trust you. Thank you."</p>
<hr/><p>"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Harry?" Dumbledore announced, his voice mirthful. He was arranging the books on his bookshelf. It was always pleasant to see an old student, though it was a mixed bag whether they came back stronger or broken. There seemed to be hope in Dumbledore that Harry was the former.</p><p>"I wanted to give you an update of my mission," he answered, smiling sadly.</p><p>"Ah! From the success of your shop, I presume it is successful?"</p><p>"I'm afraid I've failed, Headmaster." It came out more confidently than Harry thought possible. There was no waver or tremble in his voice.</p><p>Dumbledore's lips tightened and frowned. He glanced downward at no particular book. "Ah," he uttered softly. "I am sorry. It is a heavy thing to bear when a student turns to the Dark. I never wished for you to bear that burden too, Harry."</p><p>Harry looked away. So that was how he felt about these things. He wasn't hateful or disappointed. Dumbledore felt like he failed the students he helped raise. Harry recalled the way he had tried to provide Tom Riddle guidance. Sometimes, their fates were already sealed.</p><p>"I have something to give you," Harry announced, clearing his throat. He pulled out the letter. On the envelope, Harry had written: "For Severus Tobias Snape"</p><p>Dumbledore looked to the proffered letter and raised a brow. "You wish for me to deliver him a letter?"</p><p>"Yes, but not now. There will come a time when he will come to you, and his faith in the Light will be shaken. I want you to give this to him then," Harry explained.</p><p>Dumbledore furrowed his brow, curious as to why Harry was saying all this. "Forgive me, Harry, but this is all very puzzling. What makes you think he will come to me when he has been lost to the Dark Lord?"</p><p>"Because he's lost for now, but he'll find his way back. I know him. Voldemort doesn't." Harry was confident about his answer, but his voice was heavy with emotion. His eyes teared up again. "He thinks He has him, but He doesn't," he continued, his eyes wet with loss and anger. "And when Severus ever comes to you and doubts the Light, you give him that."</p><p>Dumbledore watched him for a long moment as Harry sniffled and cried quietly in the middle of his office. "You loved him very much, didn't you, Harry?"</p><p>Harry sobbed, and Dumbledore walked over, enveloping the young man in a tight embrace as he cried into him.</p><p>"You have my word, Harry. I will see to it that he reads this letter."</p>
<hr/><p>For the next few days, Harry did virtually everything with his Invisibility Cloak on. He read with it on. He ate with it on. He slept with it on. On the third day, Crabbe Sr. had kicked through the shop door and rummaged through the stores and brewing room looking for him. Harry hid in the corner of the brewing room with his Cloak and held his breath.</p><p>On the fifth day, Crabbe Sr. came again, and he seemed surprised that the door had been fixed and the stores had been organized again.</p><p>"Where the fuck are you, you faggot!" Crabbe hissed, kicking over his reception stool. Harry sidestepped it, and it narrowly missed him as it crashed and splintered into pieces against the wall.</p><p>On the seventh night, Crabbe Sr. kicked through the mended door again, but this time, he had someone else with him.</p><p>"I've told you he lives here! He doesn't have family to go to. He's an orphan!" Severus hissed, stepping through the shop. "All you had to do was burn the shop!"</p><p>"I broke through the door and searched everywhere. The next day I come back, it's back up again!" He pointed into the stores closet. "See! I destroyed all that two days ago!"</p><p>Severus groaned and rolled his eyes. "Fucking incompetent."</p><p>"Oy! Don't you <em>dare</em> call me that, Snape!" Crabbe snapped, shoving Severus against the wall. "I came here to sus out your little bitch. To make sure you can do <em>your</em> dirty work." He punctuated his point by poking a fat finger into Severus's chest. "I'm doing you a favor since you're still green behind the ears!"</p><p>"Don't <em>touch</em> me," he hissed, pushing Crabbe away.</p><p>Harry pulled away his Cloak, leaving it behind on the bed, and emerged from the back room. He was wearing his pajamas, the pajamas he had on when he last slept with Severus. "You shouldn't let a dog do your work, Severus," he announced, raising his wand at his lover.</p><p>Severus's heart sank, but it didn't show on his face. He had promised. He had promised to leave! What the hell was he doing here! He promised!</p><p>"Kill him!" Crabbe growled, lifting his wand and pointing it at Harry.</p><p>Panic flaring in his body, Severus moved quickly. "He's mine!" Severus growled, pushing Crabbe away and stepping forward, his wand drawn at Harry.</p><p>He stared at Harry with the same imperious look Harry had seen in his younger years. But Harry knew he wasn't yet the Legilimens he would ultimately become. Harry blocked him with mental walls, protecting his memories.</p><p>"Kill him now!" Crabbe commanded. "What are you waiting for!"</p><p>Severus had the temptation to stun Crabbe and leave and disappear forever with Harry. But he knew Crabbe was expendable. He was the proverbial Dead Man's Switch. Harry could stun him instead. So why wasn't Harry doing anything!</p><p>"What <em>are</em> you waiting for!" Harry yelled. "DO IT!"</p><p>Severus looked away.</p><p>"LOOK AT ME!" Harry shouted.</p><p>And Severus obeyed, black orbs finding green. He stared into the fire in his eyes. In that moment, he saw the soul behind them. In a flash, he saw their lives across time. The knowledge vanished as soon as it came. What lingered was a feeling. The feeling that their souls were bound.</p><p>Harry felt it too. He knew then too that their souls were bound.</p><p>"<em>Avada Kedavra</em>." A jet of green shot forward.</p><p>"<em>Obliviate!</em>"</p><p>Harry fell back behind the counter, lifeless.</p><p>Severus fell across the shop's floor, unconscious.</p><p>Crabbe Sr. thought it odd to attempt to counter the Killing Curse with a memory charm, but he had seen stupider attempts to escape death. He walked around the counter and knelt down to check for a pulse. As expected, there was none. He hauled Harry's lifeless body out to the middle of the shop. Did he always have such a round nose? And Crabbe didn't remember there being a scar on his forehead. Odd, but it didn't matter. He was dead anyway. He grumbled something under his breath as he hauled Severus's unconscious body over his shoulder, lifting him with ease. He turned to face the shop and set it alight with Fiendfyre. He watched with some delight as the fire ate into the wood, spreading upward to melt away the name of the shop. The fire swallowed Harry until he was no more.</p><p>As residents of Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley stirred from their sleep and screamed, Crabbe Apparated away with Severus in tow.</p>
<hr/><p>Days later, in late November, somewhere in Godric's Hollow, James Potter cried in ecstasy and spilled forward into Lily Potter's willing body.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>굳은 다짐들 한 번씩 무너지지만<br/>Promises may be broken once<br/>너를 보면 견딜 수 있어<br/>But I can endure when I see you</p><p>------</p><p>The two following epilogues were written around chapter 3 of the story. It'll wrap up nicely. I promise. All dates in this story are canon. In fact, except for the HP7 Epilogue, all of this work with canon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Epilogue I - A Letter to Hermione</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Come on! Look! See!" The red-headed girl was nearly jumping. She was no older than seven. She waved her small arms, trying to bring her younger brother over.</p><p>"What? It's a rock," the brother answered, furrowing his brow. He shuffled over the dirt, accidentally kicking dirt over the 'rock.'</p><p>"It's not a rock, <em>stupid</em>. It's a gravestone," she pointed out.</p><p>"So? It's Spinner's End. There's a bunch of gravestones."</p><p>"But look at the numbers!"</p><p>The younger boy sighed and crouched down. "'Harry James Potter, July 31, 1980 to November 1979.' Wait."</p><p>"See?"</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"I think whoever made it made a mistake probably."</p><p>The younger boy seemed sad, and he reached down to brush away the dirt he had accidentally kicked up to the name. "That's sad. Why couldn't they make it right?"</p><p>"I don't know, Hugo," she answered, frowning. She pointed at the gravestone beside it. "That one's right."</p><p>Hugo shuffled over beside his sister. "'Severus Tobias Snape, January 9, 1960 to May 2, 1998,'" he read aloud. "Yeah, that one's right."</p><p>"Let's ask mom. She's coming back with dad now!"</p><p>"Mom!"</p><p>"Mom!"</p><p>Hermione smiled when she walked back with two bouquets of flowers in her arms. Ron followed closely behind her. "Yes, yes, I'm coming!" she announced.</p><p>"Rose found something weird," Hugo announced, hopping beside his mom.</p><p>"Yeah, really weird. There's a gravestone that's wrong! It's flipped!" Rose added on, nearly exploding with energy.</p><p>Ron and Hermione shared a knowing glance before turning to their children again. "That's the person we're visiting today."</p><p>"Harry James Potter? Who's he?"</p><p>"A very good friend to your father and me," she answered, stopping before Harry and Severus's graves. She knelt beside them and set down the flowers over their gravestones. "I think you're both old enough to know about the brave tales of Harry Potter," she announced, smiling.</p>
<hr/><p>Harry nearly jumped into Hermione's office, his finger trapped in a book to hold the page he found. The book was thick. It was one of the Annals of Wizarding Legal Cases. This one in particular was marked '1523.' As much as she enjoyed reading, Hermione didn't want to know how many annals Harry had to go through to find the one he was currently so excited about.</p><p>"I've found it!" he announced excitedly. He looked as if he hadn't slept in ages and was fueled only by Pepper-Up potions. "Kingsley said his hands were tied when it came to forcing the Council to convene, right? Well, guess what I found!"</p><p>"A similar case that can make them reconsider?" Hermione asked hopefully, her eyes round with eagerness.</p><p>Harry nodded, dropping the heavy book over her desk and letting it fall open to the page he had marked with his finger. "There, there." Harry sat down in the chair across from her.</p><p>Hermione followed his finger and traced the words with her own finger. "'The case of the Black Estate against the Ministry of Magic for the portrait of Headmaster Phineas Nigellus Black!'" she read excitedly and quickly. "'Over the concerns of his Pure-blood views and policies during his tenure as Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the school had refused to hang his portrait. The Black Estate argued for the Ministry to intervene and force Hogwarts to reconsider the school's decision as Black's contribution to the school was integral to the school's history. The decision was convened by the Council of Magical Law, and they ruled that the school should hang the portrait for the posterity and guidance of future headmasters!' Harry, you've found it!"</p><p>When Hermione looked up, Harry had already fallen asleep in the chair.</p>
<hr/><p>"The only thing we can do is appeal," Hermione offered sadly. She had watched Harry give an hour-long impassioned speech about Severus Snape, submitting his memories to the Council to see, only for it all to be in vain. The Council ruled as the Council was expected to rule. The world was not ready to accept Death Eaters, no matter how much Harry didn't believe that Snape was a true Death Eater.</p><p>"The Council is just going to deny it again!" Harry yelled.</p><p>"We have to come up with a stronger case."</p><p>"The Chosen One isn't strong enough? The bloody Master of Death isn't strong enough? The Council is full of too-old and too-stupid people!" Bitterness underlied every word, and Harry didn't care. Hermione had nothing to say. It was something she was working to change herself, but the Ministry was a very slow place to change. It wasn't as easy as searching for a Horcrux and figuring out a way to slay them, and that task barely qualified as easy.</p><p>"Why does it matter so much to you that he gets a portrait?" Hermione asked quietly, moving to sit next to him on the couch.</p><p>Harry let out a shuddery breath. "Because he knew so much," he answered, staring into the distance. "Because he knew everything. And I want to know what he knew. I know he knew more than what he gave me." He looked over at Hermione, his eyes flashing with urgency. "He knew more than even Dumbledore."</p><p>Hermione recognized the look, and she understood what he was saying. It wasn't just information. Harry wanted closure -- not just for the war but about his parents, about his godfather. Snape had been someone who knew so much about the life of the family Harry had, but he never told him. And there was no one to give him that closure but Snape. The lack of closure that Harry tried to fill ended with terrible results. It strained his relationship with Ginny so much that they nearly lost their friendship. It left him searching in places that ended up in frustrating dead ends. It nearly cost him his position as a junior Auror had Kingsley not intervened and put him on a six-month Sabbatical.</p><p>"Let's try McGonagall. She's headmaster now. She can probably speak well of Snape," Hermione offered.</p><p>"Good idea," Harry answered eagerly, grasping for any semblance of optimism. "I'll ask her tomorrow."</p>
<hr/><p>"That's not an alternative idea, Harry," Hermione chided, nearly rolling her eyes. This must have been the sixth time Harry had barged into her office this month. As the second appeals was just days away, she didn't blame him or shoo him away.</p><p>"Why not? If we gave the half that voted against Snape the Puking Pastilles, they wouldn't be able to attend the meeting!" Harry answered, spreading his arms as if he had just stumbled upon the most genius idea of all time. "Easy!"</p><p>"No, not easy. They'd just reschedule until they were done puking," Hermione corrected, shaking her head but smiling nonetheless. She looked back down at her report, scribbling notes down. "Come up with a better idea."</p><p>"Time Turner," he said abruptly.</p><p>The idea was so brief and so direct that Hermione looked up again, her brows furrowed. "What?"</p><p>"Time Turner. Like the one you had to attend your classes."</p><p>Hermione scoffed and laughed as if he had said the most ridiculous thing. "<em>Time Turner</em>? A Time Turner can't go back more than a few hours! What? Are you going to keep turning back time and forcing the vote until it changes to your favor?"</p><p>Harry hummed, making a show as if he were seriously considering the idea, and they both laughed.</p><p>"It doesn't work that way, Harry."</p><p>"I know it doesn't. But what if I go back further than that?"</p><p>Hermione furrowed her brow. "How far?" she asked tentatively.</p><p>"1970s far."</p><p>"Are you mad, Harry?" Hermione hissed. "That's more than two decades!"</p><p>"I'm not mad, I don't think," Harry answered innocently.</p><p>"There's a reason it's not recommended that any wizard stays more than five hours in the past! Not to mention going back that far -- no one knows what would happen." Hermione objected.</p><p>"Yeah, but what if I can convince him not to be a Death Eater to begin with?" Harry offered, trying to sound convincing.</p><p>Hermione's face wrinkled in disapproval. "Then you might not be here at all, Harry" was her solemn answer. "It's the grandfather paradox." She stood up and walked to her library closet. She spun the turnstiles, revealing stacks upon stacks of tomes in the magically enlarged space until she found the right book. Saul Croaker's 'A Theory of Time Travel.' She flipped through the book she had received from McGonagall in her third year that gave her pointers for what to do and what not to do. She stopped on the chapter 'On Paradoxes and How to Avoid Them' and set the book down for Harry to see.</p><p>He gave the book a cursory glance.</p><p>"But I am here, see?" He patted his own face, grinning as if to punctuate the point.</p><p>"You're here <em>now</em>," Hermione repeated. "You could--" She stopped, not able to finish her thought, not wanting to entertain it at all. "It's too dangerous, Harry."</p><p>He could see the concern in her eyes. He could sense that she feared that he might actually do something so insane.</p><p>"We'll see what happens at the council next week, okay?" Harry offerred as an olive branch, taking the book.</p><p>Hermione bit her bottom lip and took what she could.</p><p>"Okay."</p>
<hr/><p>Another defeat. Their last defeat. Getting a third appeal was nearly impossible by this point. Disappointed, Hermione walked out with Ginny, who looked almost as broken as Harry did in the court chambers. If Harry couldn't find his closure, how were they ever going to be together?</p><p>When she felt a tap on her shoulder, Hermione looked back and dabbed away her tears. "Professor McGonagall, I'm so sorry," she whispered, turning to her. Ginny walked away to give them a private moment.</p><p>"I am sorry too, Miss Granger," McGonagall answered solemnly. She swallowed thickly and considered her for a moment. Green's words echoed in her mind. "There's something I believe I have of yours. Will you accompany me back to Hogwarts?"</p><p>Confused, Hermione nodded and followed the Headmistress.</p>
<hr/><p>"A student of mine gave this to me in late 1979. I do not know how he could have known you. I was confused when he somehow knew you would be a witch before the Quill of Acceptance and the Book of Admittance knew. You can imagine my shock when your name came up in the Book six years later. He insisted that I give this to you when you and I were at Council together," McGonagall began, holding the letter out with a trembling hand. She considered the letter for a moment. "I thought maybe now was the right time. I-- I didn't want to think it was him, but the handwriting--"</p><p>"Harry," Hermione gasped. "No." Her hands trembled when she took the letter.</p><p>She opened it. The parchment was old but clearly magically preserved.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Hermione and Ron,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If you're reading this, it probably means I'm dead. Actually dead. Probably been dead for a long time, if McGonagall did it right. But don't be sad. I don't want you to be sad. And don't be angry with McGonagall either; I trust her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I want you to know I lived a happy life here in the past. I came back to December 1, 1976. I pretended to be a student by the name of Harry Green and managed to convince Dumbledore to let me be a student. I used the Glamor Charm you taught me, Hermione. I think you would have been proud. I also fell in love with Severus Snape, and he fell in love with me. We started a potions business together called Room of Potions. Maybe you can find it. It was at the corner of Knockturn Alley and Diagon Alley. I think that is where I will die. If there are any remains there, will you gather it and bury it next to Severus's grave in Spinner's End? Let me rest with him.<br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Another request -- please tell Professor McGonagall that I am sorry to deceive her. And tell Dumbledore's portrait that I am sorry to deceive him, but I have a feeling he already knew. It always seemed like he knew.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I think, I was right to have fought so hard for Severus's portrait to be made. He has a good heart and a good mind. I want you to know I got the closure I was looking for. I know now that I was the closure all along. Stupid thing, isn't it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I went back in time because I wanted to stop him from becoming a Death Eater. I thought maybe I could convince him. If you're reading this, you probably already know it didn't work, but I don't think it was meant to work. I taught him his Patronus. I was the one who saved him from Sirius's prank, not my father. I used Polyjuice to pretend to be him because I thought that was how the story went. But that was me all along. I taught him what it meant that his Patronus changed. He wasn't in love with my mother; he was in love with me. Can you believe it? The doe was for me because my Patronus was a stag. His first Patronus was apparently a fox. How boring, right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Time Turner broke after I arrived here, and I couldn't go back. I was scared then because it meant I'd never see any of you guys again. I'm sorry that I told you I'd come back, Hermione. I hated that I said that, and I wouldn't want that to be my last words to you.<br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am writing this because you should know I was happy. And I was happy for the life I lived with you. And I am grateful for the friendship we shared. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>There is not a moment that I regret with you both, and I hope you two find the happiness you deserve. From where I stand now, I am happy. Because I know that Severus will meet me again soon, and he will sacrifice his life for me. And I will sacrifice my life for him. It is a power stronger than any Unbreakable Vow. I don't know how to describe it, but I think Saul Croaker had it right when he said that Time was governed by the Soul. Sorry I stole your book, but I'm pretty sure it's in the last chapter where he talks about some explanations that could address the Bootstrap Paradox. I wish I could give you the page, but I've already given it to someone else.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you both, and I sorely missed you. But like with Severus, I know that in a few short years, you and I will meet again on the train. Hermione, you will fix my glasses. And Ron, you will look at her like she was the most beautiful and brilliant person you've ever met. Attached is a check. It's what we earned from making potions.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please use the money for your wedding or for your children. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ron - take care of Hermione or I will haunt you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hermione - thank you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Harry James Potter</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Epilogue II - A Letter to Severus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Snape and Dumbledore were strolling together in the deserted castle grounds by twilight.</p><p>"What are you doing with Potter, all these evenings you are closeted together?" Snape asked abruptly.</p><p>Dumbledore looked weary. "Why? You aren't trying to give him more detentions, Severus? The boy will soon have spent more time in detention than out."</p><p>"He is his father over again--"</p><p>"In looks, perhaps, but his deepest nature is much more like his mother's. I spend time with Harry because I have things to discuss with him, information I must give him before it is too late."</p><p>"Information," repeated Snape. "You trust him... you do not trust me."</p><p>"It is not a question of trust. I have, as we both know, limited time. It is essential that I give the boy enough information for him to do what he needs to do."</p><p>"And why may I not have the same information?"</p><p>"I prefer not to put all of my secrets in one basket, particularly not a basket that spends so much time dangling on the arm of Lord Voldemort."</p><p>"Which I do on your orders!"</p><p>"And you do it extremely well. Do not think that I underestimate the constant danger in which you place yourself, Severus. To give Voldemort what appears to be valuable information while withholding the essentials is a job I would entrust to nobody but you."</p><p>"Yet you confide much more in a boy who is incapable of Occlumency, whose magic is mediocre, and who has a direct connection into the Dark Lord's mind!"</p><p>"Voldemort fears that connection," said Dumbledore. "Not so long ago he had one small taste of what truly sharing Harry's mind means to him. It was pain such as he has never experienced. He will not try to possess Harry again, I am sure of it. Not in that way."</p><p>"I don't understand."</p><p>"Lord Voldemort's soul, maimed as it is, cannot bear close contact with a soul like Harry's. Like a tongue on frozen steel, like flesh in flame--"</p><p>"Souls? We were talking of minds!"</p><p>"In the case of Harry and Lord Voldemort, to speak of one is to speak of the other." Dumbledore glanced around to make sure that they were alone. They were close by the Forbidden Forest now, but there was no sign of anyone near them. "After you have killed me, Severus--"</p><p>"You refuse to tell me everything, yet you expect that small service of me!" snarled Snape, and real anger flared in the thin face now. "You take a great deal for granted, Dumbledore! Perhaps I have changed my mind!"</p><p>"You gave me your word, Severus. And while we are talking about services you owe me, I thought you agreed to keep a close eye on our young Slytherin friend?"</p><p>Snape looked angry, mutinous. He looked as though he were ready to take back his word and force Draco to perform as he was doomed to. Lucius was a self-serving prat. What consideration had any of them ever given his soul! How fractured his own soul had been for having served the Dark Lord all these years! He had never killed, but he knew how his potions were used. He knew just how his involvement had led to countless torn lives. </p><p>Dumbledore saw the doubt in his eyes and sighed. Green's words came back to him in that moment.</p><p>"Come to my office tonight, Severus, at eleven, and you shall not complain that I have no confidence in you..."</p><p>Snape nodded curtly and took his leave from him.</p>
<hr/><p>"What happened to him?" Lucius demanded, gliding into the waiting room. Regulus followed close behind him.</p><p>Shrugging, Crabbe none too gently dropped Severus onto the ground. His body made a heavy thud. "Got Obliviated and passed out during the duel. His target's dead though. He killed him. And I burned down the shop as promised," he answered, pointing at Severus.</p><p>"He Obliviated him?" Regulus asked, eyes widening.</p><p>"Yeah, probably," Crabbe answered. He stood around expectantly.</p><p>"Report to the Dark Lord at once. Tell Him that Severus has completed his task, and we have verified that he has passed the test," Regulus commanded.</p><p>"And my payment?" Regulus wanted to roll his eyes. Crabbe was so crude. Lucius seemed to have the abundance to address him.</p><p>"I have that for you here." Lucius ushered Crabbe out the room.</p><p>Regulus dropped to his knees by Severus and pointed his wand to his chest. "<em>Rennervate</em>," he uttered, channeling his healing energy into him.</p><p>Severus's eyes fluttered open, and he stared up at the ceiling.</p><p>"Severus."</p><p>Dazed and empty, Severus turned his head and looked to Regulus. "Where am I?"</p><p>"You're at the Malfoy Manor."</p><p>"Why am I here?"</p><p>"Because you've completed your task for the Dark Lord."</p><p>"I don't remember."</p><p>"You did," Regulus reminded. "And you did so well. You took him down."</p><p>"Took who down?"</p><p>"Just a Muggle. You subdued him, and Crabbe burned him," he explained, moving his hand to cradle his cheek. "You're safe now."</p>
<hr/><p>They were back in Dumbledore's office, the windows dark, and Fawkes sat silent as Snape sat quite still, as Dumbledore walked around him, talking.</p><p>"Harry must not know, not until the last moment, not until it is necessary, otherwise how could he have the strength to do what must be done?"</p><p>"But what must he do?"</p><p>"That is between Harry and me. Now listen closely, Severus. There will come a time-- after my death-- do not argue, do not interrupt! There will come a time when Lord Voldemort will seem to fear for the life of his snake."</p><p>"For Nagini?" Snape looked astonished.</p><p>"Precisely. If there comes a time when Lord Voldemort stops sending that snake forth to do his bidding, but keeps it safe beside him under magical protection, then, I think, it will be safe to tell Harry."</p><p>"Tell him what?" Dumbledore took a deep breath and closed his eyes.</p><p>"Tell him that on the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill him, when Lily cast her own life between them as a shield, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort's soul was blasted apart from the whole, and latched itself onto the only living soul left in that collapsed building. Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Harry, and it is that which gives him the power of speech with snakes, and a connection with Lord Voldemort's mind that he has never understood. And while that fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to and protected by Harry, Lord Voldemort cannot die."</p><p>"So the boy...the boy must die?" asked Snape quite calmly.</p><p>"And Voldemort himself must do it, Severus. That is essential."</p><p>Another long silence. Then Snape said, "I thought...all those years...that we were protecting him for her. For Lily."</p><p>"We have protected him because it has been essential to teach him, to raise him, to let him try his strength," said Dumbledore, his eyes still tight shut. "Meanwhile, the connection between them grows ever stronger, a parasitic growth. Sometimes I have thought he suspects it himself. If I know him, he will have arranged matters so that when he does set out to meet his death, it will truly mean the end of Voldemort."</p><p>Dumbledore opened his eyes. Snape looked horrified.</p><p>"You have kept him alive so that he can die at the right moment?"</p><p>"Don't be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?"</p><p>"Lately, only those whom I could not save," said Snape. He stood up. "You have used me."</p><p>"Meaning?"</p><p>"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter!" His voice raising to a shouting pitch as the words came out. "What if I refuse?" he demanded.</p><p>"You cannot," Dumbledore answered simply.</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>Dumbledore stood and walked to his bookshelves, scanning over the books just as he had when Green came to him last all those years ago. He drew out a book. It had a green cover; the contents held little significance. He flipped to a page and produced an envelope.</p><p>"Does the name Harry Green bear any significance to you, Severus?" he asked.</p><p>Snape stiffened, reflexively Occluding his memories. He had not seen that Harry in decades. After their shop burned down in a Death Eater raid and there wasn't so much as a trace of a body, he assumed Harry had left and never contacted him. He had made him a promise after all. "He and I were students. He went into hiding during the First Wizarding War. That's not the Harry that matters right now."</p><p>Dumbledore looked at the letter, noticing the familiar scrawl of Harry Potter's handwriting. He should have known. Perhaps, in small part, he knew but refused to see it, for it was too heartbreaking to know a man so young would have a heart so powerful that he could willingly walk to his death twice.</p><p>"This belongs to you," said Dumbledore, handing him the letter.</p><p>Snape noted that the envelope smelled faintly of treacle tart as he handed it over. The handwriting was Potter's, but the envelope was clearly much older. He opened it and two pieces of paper came out: the letter and a page ripped out of a book. On the page, someone had made a box over an excerpt and drew a heart above it:</p><p>
  <em>"Despite the paradoxes, I humbly submit my own theory for how information can come to being without an origin. Souls possess an energy that neither Muggle science nor the wizarding world have been able to quantify or even experience. But we know it is there. It is the energy from which we draw our magic, and it exists without an origin. There is no source or reference for how magic appeared in our mortal realm; it simply did. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Souls, in that way, may govern Time. And souls may provide a blueprint of how lives and, indeed, time itself may play out. Perhaps not every decision has been predestined; surely, there is some element of free will. But each person is derived from a soul. We are but particulates of these larger souls, sent to the mortal realm to learn and grow and return to the larger body with more knowledge. Souls may meet at different points in time; they may cross at multiple times -- even in the past. I posit that the origin of the inexplicable is a byproduct of souls meeting, setting predestined markers in time so that their souls may come together."</em>
</p><p>Time Travel never interested Snape, but he never considered Potter would ever have the brain for it. "Why did he give me this?" he wondered aloud.</p><p>"Read the letter," Dumbledore suggested, taking the torn page from him.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Severus,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If all went as planned, you'll have gotten this letter long after I am dead, and you may have forgotten me. At the least, I should have succeeded in making you forget that you murdered me. I did so to spare your soul because I feared you may not forgive yourself enough to live on.<br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I should introduce myself to you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My name is not Harry Green. Green was the first color I saw when I snuck into Hogwarts. My name is Harry James Potter. I am the son of Lily Evans and James Potter. You were my Professor when I first met you, but it wasn't your first time meeting me. But I doubt you think I look like myself at all. I used a Glamor Charm to deceive you for three years, and I am sorry for that. I wonder -- do you think I look more handsome then or now?<br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If it gives you any consolation, I remember my stomach flipping many times when I first met you. You always looked so scary. You were probably annoyed with me too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don't know when Dumbledore will give you this letter, but I asked him to give it to you when your faith in the Light was weakened. And I hope this letter gives you reason to keep going, to keep fighting. I know it's been hard for you, and I wish I could have been there to fight alongside you -- as your lover, not as a dunderhead. You have suffered much, and I tried to fix it. Believe me, Severus, I tried so very hard. I am sorry that I could not change enough.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because of what will happen -- for me, it is what has already happened -- I went back in time to find your younger self. I cannot tell you why, I am sorry. I didn't accomplish what I set out to do, but I think I know now that I was never meant to. I was meant to love you, to be loved by you, to have had the life I had with you. I still wish there was more I could have done. But I am proud of the little shop we built. I hope it remains even after I am gone.<br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know my days are limited. You came to tell me so yourself yesterday. You looked so haunted I could barely look at you. When I saw your eyes, I saw my failure. And yet, you still made love to me. And I will never forget how you feel. I cannot return to my time. I tried. My Time Turner seems to have burnt out, but I don't think I was ever meant to go home. My best friends in my younger life -- in the life where you are now -- are the ones I will make on the same day that I first meet you. They will miss me, so please don't treat them too harshly. They will one day be your champions too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope you can forgive me one day. And because I know you, I hope you can forgive yourself too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And because I know you so well, I know you'll wonder how this all could happen. And for that, I attach page 388 of Saul Croaker's textbook.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please look after me. Please protect me. Trust in Dumbledore's plan so that I may see you again one day. I look forward to our years together more than life itself. Please want to see me too.<br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wish I had the chance to tell you the truth when I was still alive. I wish I could hold you now as you read this. I wonder what you look like. I wonder what has made you lose your faith. You have a life ahead of you, and, while I wish I could tell you how it will play out, I am simply happy to know that I may meet you again soon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am eating your treacle tart as I write this. No Amortentia can mimic how much I love you. And I love you so very much forever and always.</em>
</p><p><br/>
<em>Forever Yours,</em><br/>
<em>Harry Potter</em>
</p><p>His tears flowed freely. Snape moved the letter to avoid staining the fragile paper. The memories returned to him as he read his words. Harry had Obliviated him. And he killed him.</p><p>Dumbledore kept his gaze away from him, not wanting to intrude upon his reading but also unable to face such brokenness.</p><p>"This... is real?" Snape asked, his voice as fragile and weak as the paper he held.</p><p>"He charged me with giving you the letter when you may have doubted the Light. A few days later, your shop was burned down by Fiendfyre."</p><p>Snape looked down at the letter again, reading and re-reading it.</p><p>"He loved you very much, Severus," Dumbledore added.</p><p>"<em>Expecto Patronum</em>!"</p><p>From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe. She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and, as her silvery glow faded, he turned back to Snape. His eyes were full of tears.</p><p>"The doe. It was for him," Snape explained.</p><p>"After all this time?"</p><p>"Always."</p>
<hr/><p>Hours passed. Dumbledore stayed by Snape's side, consoling him.</p><p>"Your plan will work," Snape answered soberly when he had run out of tears.</p><p>"Plan?"</p><p>"To tell him that he has to die at the right moment. It will work."</p><p>"What makes you so certain?" Dumbledore asked, cautiously hopeful.</p><p>"Because he lived to come back to me."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading and for bearing until the end. This is my first and probably last fic. I've always wanted to do a fic on time travel, and I'm glad to have found a story that fit so well. The dates are all canon; a lot of research has gone into making them so. Harry traveled back to 1976 when Severus was still in sixth year and died nine months before he was born. Both his and Severus's lives and deaths revolved around each other like a binary star, and they're trapped in a circle neverending. In fact, after reading this, you can pick up the HP series from book one, finish that (skipping the canon epilogue), and come back here again. That was the effect I was going for, and I hope I've achieved it. If I haven't, tell me, and I'm going to have to try another fic.</p><p>This epilogue was written in its entirety before the third chapter, so this was always going to be the ending. I'm sorry for the tears. If it helps, I cried too.</p><p>Thank you for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks. I read them all and answered as many as I could. Your engagement kept me motivated, and I had great fun exploring this story with you all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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